Slava Brodsky - Funny Children's Stories. Bilingual Edition

Here the old woman showed up with her cart. And everyone began to wonder how much ice cream she had. A man in a military uniform said to someone with confidence that the ice cream would end just before this person. And after that, everyone immediately calmed down.

But it soon became very clear that the ice cream would end even earlier than the military man thought. Because many bought not just one ice cream but two. And those who stood at the end of the line started to yell that only one ice cream should be sold per person.

But they were yelling without any confidence, only to yell, just out of habit. Those at the end of the line always yell. That was why no one thought to listen. So many bought two ice creams. But when someone wanted to buy four ice creams, the line just blew up.

And everyone started to yell that four ice creams should not be sold to one person. And the man who wanted to buy four ice creams asked everyone, “Why not?” And the military man answered him, “If you are told that you must not, then you must not!”

And so this man could not buy four ice creams. Even after he was gone, the military man could not calm down for a long time and kept saying that “many people just do not understand one simple thing: if you are told that you must not, then you must not!”

The old woman went away with her cart again. And again we all waited for a long time. Finally, she came with a full cart of ice cream again. And my mom said that because we stood there for so long, we would buy three ice creams, not just two. Then Dad would also have some ice cream.

She also said that it would be difficult to keep the ice cream frozen until we came back home. But she said that we would do our best. Because it was very cold outside. And in the trolley it should also be very cold.

When I realized that I would not have my ice cream for the next half an hour, something inside of me just dropped. And at that very moment, Mom looked at me and said that I should eat my ice cream right away, and we would bring the other two home.

When we brought home the ice cream, Dad said that his doctor told him not to eat ice cream and that I should eat his ice cream. Dad's doctor tells Dad not to eat a lot of stuff.

This year, in the spring, Mom brought home two tomatoes. She bought them at the farmer’s market since tomatoes are sold in regular stores only in the summer time. The tomatoes that Mom brought home from the farmer’s market were bright red and very beautiful. They looked magical.

And Mom asked Dad whether he knew how much she paid for these tomatoes at the farmer’s market. And Dad asked how much these tomatoes cost. And when Mom replied to him, Dad’s eyes widened.

And then he said that his doctor told him not to eat tomatoes. The doctor tells him not to eat many things. He tells him not to eat most fruits. Vegetables too. Not all of them, but many of them. And something else too. But I do not remember what.

So this was how I got my second ice cream. Mom gave Dad a bite of her ice-cream. And Dad took a few bites. But each time he bit off only a little piece because he did not want to disobey his doctor. And Mom gave Dad a hug and told me, “You see, our dad knows: if you are told that you must not, then you must not!”

Сег о дня уж е насто я щая зим а и о чень х о лодно. А я не любл ю , когд а х о лодно на у лице. Ос о бенно я не любл ю , когд а х о лодно и д у ет в е тер.

Зим о й, когд а я т о лько ещ ё просып а юсь, я уж е зн а ю, что за окн о м в е тер и х о лодно. По э тому зим о й мне ос о бенно не х о чется просып а ться. А когд а я просып а юсь, я д у маю т о лько о том, что о чень ск о ро мне н а до б у дет в ы йти на у лицу, где х о лодно и д у ет в е тер. И я не мог у д у м а ть б о льше ни о ч ё м друг о м.

Я выпив а ю у тром ч а шку ч а я и съед а ю то, что да ё т мне м а ма. Я сл у шаю, как он а мен я тор о пит и говор и т, что я оп я ть опозд а ю в шк о лу, и удивл я ется, почем у я м е дленно дв и гаюсь. И он а ч а сто говор и т мне, что ей к а жется, что я совс е м заст ы л.

И вот я выхож у на л е стницу, сполз а ю вниз с н а шего четв ё ртого этаж а и подхож у к двер я м подъ е зда. Я открыв а ю вн у треннюю дверь и ср а зу начин а ю сл ы шать, как в о ет в е тер. И когд а я вхож у в т а мбур м е жду вн у тренними и вн е шними двер я ми, я почт и всегд а удивл я юсь, как там х о лодно. И мне т о лько стр а шно предст а вить себ е , как х о лодно там, за двер я ми н а шего подъ е зда.

На вн е шнюю дверь н а до налег а ть всем т е лом. То ли потом у , что на ней пруж и на ж ё сткая, то ли потом у , что в е тер д у ет, а м о жет быть, потом у , что пруж и на и в е тер в одн у и ту же ст о рону д е йствуют.

И пот о м, когд а я в дверь уж е прот и снулся, н а до ещ ё е ё ног о й придерж а ть. А когд а я н о гу отпуст и л, мне н а до ещ ё от дв е ри уверн у ться, чт о бы он а мен я не прихл о пнула. И когд а дверь закрыв а ется, то в э тот с а мый мом е нт я т о лько оконч а тельно поним а ю, как вс ё пл о хо.

И с а мое плох о е, э то то, что ещ ё о чень темн о . А когд а х о лодно и темн о, э то гор а здо х у же, чем когд а х о лодно и светл о . И когд а я ид у ещ ё внутр и н а шего двор а , то тогд а мне не так х о лодно. Потом у что я ещ ё тепл о сво ё не растер я л. А когд а я выхож у на у лицу, в е тер начин а ет дуть в лиц о о чень с и льно и, гл а вное, без перер ы ва.