William Saroyan - The Laughing Matter

“No. He’s the best there is.”

“It’s been almost three hours.”

“She may not want to wake up for a long time yet,” Dade said.

“If I get Swan through this,” Evan said, “I’m going to know how to take care of her. I’m going to know what to do for her. This is nothing, it doesn’t mean a thing. We’ve made a lot of plans. We know what we’re doing. She’s a little mad, the same as I am. The same as you are, too. I didn’t know that, Dade. She expects me to help her. This was part of it, the beginning of it. She’s irresponsible. She’s swift. She doesn’t think living’s worth the trouble. She’s a little mad, that’s all, but she doesn’t want to be. I guess any beautiful girl can be a little mad if somebody won’t stop her. She wants to be stopped. Living very nearly isn’t worth the trouble, you know. It is very nearly a fraud, you know. All I want is to get her past this, and then I want to straighten both of us out. I helped her become a little mad, you know. She thinks it’s herself alone, but I helped her. A man can’t know much, Dade, until it’s almost too late. I haven’t done wrong, have I?”

“No,” Dade said.

They went into the kitchen and Dade got coffee started. They sat at the kitchen table, waiting for the coffee.

“The easiest thing in the world,” Evan said, “is to kick things over at the first excuse for doing so.”

“Sure it is,” Dade said. “If she calls out, we’ll hear her, won’t we?”

“I’ve got the door a little open,” Evan said. “Dade, when this thing’s out of the way—when Swan’s O.K. again—— you’re going to see a family that is a family. When this thing’s out of the way——”

“It’s out of the way now,” Dade said.

“She didn’t make a sound,” Evan said.

“He didn’t want her to feel anything,” Dade said. “Maybe Swan didn’t want to make a sound.”

“Poor kid,” he said.

“She’s all right,” Dade said.

Evan went into the room quietly, around the bed to see her face again.

He went back to the kitchen.

Dade was drinking coffee. He poured a cup for Evan.

“Take it easy,” he said.

“I don’t like the way she looks,” Evan said.

“She’s all right.”

“I thought about it,” Evan said. “I thought about everything that might be done. Nothing else made any sense. Nothing else gave anybody half a chance. I’m scared, Dade. Take a look at her, will you?”

They went to the room, and Dade looked at her. They went out into the parlor.

“I don’t know,” Dade said. “Let me think a minute. I don’t like the way she looks, either. Let’s wait a little while, though.”

“What do you mean, Dade?”

“She’s all right,” Dade said suddenly. “Of course she’s all right.”

“Are you sure, Dade?”

“She’ll wake up in a little while,” Dade said. “You’ll know she’s all right then.”

“I’ll go in and wait,” Evan said.

“Yes, that’s a good idea.”

“If the kids wake up, will you tell them we’re asleep? Get them some cold cereal or something. Let them go out into the vineyard and play, but don’t you go far.”

“I’ll be here,” Dade said.

Evan went into the room where his wife was sleeping. He sat on the bed, watching her face, waiting for her to wake up.

“I’m sorry, Swan,” he said softly. “I’m terribly sorry. Don’t make me sorrier. I did wrong. I know I did wrong. Help me, Swan. Don’t let it be the wrongest thing any man could ever do.”

He sat and stared at his wife a long time. At last he went out and found Dade in the kitchen.

“She’s dying, Dade.”

“For God’s sake, get hold of yourself, will you?”

“Dade, she’s dying! I don’t know what to do. We’d better get somebody. We’d better get somebody quick.”

“Let me look at her again,” Dade said.

They went in and looked at her again. They didn’t look very long. Dade went to the telephone, and woke up a friend, Dr. Altoun. He spoke to the man in their own language. While he was on the telephone Red and Eva came running into the hall, calling out Dade’s name. The man said he would be out as soon as he could get dressed. Dade picked up both of the children and hugged them.

“We’ve got to be very quiet,” he said.

He helped them dress, got them cold cereal and milk, and sent them out to play. Red climbed the fig tree, Eva stood under it catching ripe figs. Dade went to Evan standing over the sleeping woman. They stepped out of the room.

“He’ll be here as soon as possible,” Dade said.

“What did you tell him?”

“The truth.”

“That’s good,” Evan said. “Let Swan be all right. I don’t care who knows the truth. It doesn’t mean anything anyway. Just let her be all right. I’m glad you told him.”

“He’ll keep it to himself,” Dade said, “but I had to tell him. He had to know. We didn’t speak English.”

“I’m glad he’s coming,” Evan said. “We couldn’t just stand around like a couple of fools with our mouths open.”

Dr. Altoun was a slim young man, not more than thirty-five, fair for his race, with blue eyes. He was alone with the woman fifteen minutes.

“We’d better get her to a hospital,” he said. “There’s a good one in Madera. I’ll telephone for an ambulance.”

“Is she going to be all right?” Evan said.

“I hope so,” Altoun said.

He went to the telephone, Evan following him.

“We couldn’t take her in Dade’s car, could we?”

“No.”

“What is it? What’s happened to her?”

“A lot of things,” the doctor said. “I’ve done everything that can be done just now.”

He telephoned and went back to the sleeping woman. He asked Evan and Dade not to enter the room.

“I don’t want the kids to be frightened,” Evan said. “Can you get them in your car and take them somewhere, Dade, so they won’t see the ambulance?”

“Sure,” Dade said. “I’ll take them for a long ride.”

“No,” Evan said. “Take them to the Walz home. Tell Warren and May to let them spend the morning there. They like the Walz kids. You come on back. I’ll sit in the ambulance. You follow in your car. I can’t think straight. You’d better be around, Dade.”

“Sure,” Dade said. “I’ll take them over now. I’ll be right back.”

“If we’re gone before you get back, you know where it is, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Dade said. “I’ll be there.”

Dade was back before the ambulance arrived. He saw his brother sitting on the railing of the front porch. The doctor’s car was gone.

“Evan?” he said.

Dade waited a full minute, then went inside to where the woman lay. When he went out to the porch Evan stepped down from the railing. He struck his brother on the side of the head and knocked him down. Dade leaped to his feet, hugged his brother quickly, and stopped his arms.

“I’m going to kill you,” Evan said.

“What did he say?” Dade said. “Where did he go?”

“He said she’s dead,” Evan said. “I don’t know where he went.”

Evan tried to free himself, but Dade wouldn’t let him go.

“He should have waited until I could speak to him,” Dade said. “I’ve got to get him at his office. He’s got to report this. He’s got to report something.”

“Let him tell the truth,” Evan said. “Let him report that. I killed my wife, the mother of my kids. Let him report that .”

“You didn’t kill anybody,” Dade said.

“I killed her,” Evan said, “and you helped me.”

“Get hold of yourself,” Dade said.