Jonathan Cottam - The Urban Book of the Dead

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Urban Book of the dead is my second book to be published, after 'The Unrequited Zombie'. It is a rather less experimental work, though still unusual, vivid, and descriptive. I would describe the book as both psychedelic and surreal, being rather pedantic about the use of those two words. That is, if it were surreal I would be dealing with a psychological work, something that looked towards expanding knowledge of the Id, that primitive part of our nature that is repressed by social conventions and the need to plan to get what we want. It is, in that it is self gratifying without recourse to opinion, it is every animalistic urge that can only be released through art, because to do it any other way would have terrible repercussions. Having said that, next to my early work, it is not particularly arty or deep. It is psychedelic because it looks to reaching a higher consciousness by through creativity, to reach a state beyond the normal level of seeing things, it is also psychedelic and surreal in the commonly understood sense, it is 'trippy' and sometimes deals with drugs. It starts like this… "I floated above my body, I was a bubble fit to burst, I squeezed and struggled with my form, my clothes gripping and distorting my figure with their relative solidity, were the same ghost like material as the rest of me. Down below my face stared back at me; distorted and grotesque as the spirit shapes on the bark of trees, I felt my ghost face and it was etched there too, deforming me, chiselled by a million molecules of heroin, I had my wings, hung as from a pin, spread and feathered, and spanning the whole nicotine ceiling. I stared at the blue marbled arm; growing out like the gnarled branch of a tree, the fingers gesturing me towards it, and hanging from it, the syringe full of bubbles, blood and a quicksand of powdered death whirling like a vortex. A spoon lay on the floor and a small bit of cigarette filter in it, all having served a purely symbolic process. It seemed years of injecting powders and stuff flicked down to a dirty lemonade had paid off, perhaps a bubble could kill you after all." The book is I think taking one thing at least to a new level in literature, egomania. That is because the concept of the book is I the authors fight with god who is defeated, whilst at the same time dealing with my real life struggles as I go back through things that really actually happened to me in my drug filled and violent life as a drug dealer and through prison etcetera, and, changing them. I say egomania but again I mean the Id, the ego compromises, the Id does not. It is a very angry book because I am taking back the control that was taken from me, in that, to a very large extent I did not choose my life but it was forced on me, as with all the mishaps of all my dead friends who did not survive, through suicide, alcoholism, heroin overdose and murder. Enter God. God then is a symbol for society, capitalism, and the state, and also, plain bad luck. So is God then not God, is the book not satanic? My interest in black magic personally does not extend to believing in it, or God in any accepted sense either. I believe in magic as will, that Hitler could gain power through will is magic, that people can realise the future not through clairvoyance but precognition, taking in the world around them and understanding consciously or unconsciously where it is all going to lead, that kind of magic I believe, the other sort I only have a fair knowledge of as an interest and I am not a Satanist, that would be a misplacement of effort. "The noise got louder, but lower, rather than higher, so it travelled further and vibrated the walls. Crack's appeared in the walls in the form of a hundred distorted faces of people I had known, adventured and suffered with. A fragment of glass from a picture of 'Judith with the head of Hollerfernes' hit me in my eye, almost bursting my substance, which it settled in like a bloody monocle, magnifying the African tribal Fang mask in the centre of the wall, with its pale long wooden nose and owl like brow, its jutting chin; appeared to grow eyes that searched with the deepest hideous depth around my room and the dead body of me whose 'nakedness' I wanted to cover from the gaze. The mask bowed and came out of the wall, after it a huge body wearing the blue pinstripes of my wall paper and looking every bit the business man, come to settle my accounts, I was not about to make it easy. The scrambled voices became one, the word "Jonathan!" boomed. This was God, this was the confrontation I had been waiting for my whole life." The meaning of that is obvious in the pinstriped suit I think, but also a little later the meaning and symbolism is made totally obvious. "God spoke "I am the unity, I am the morals and the law, think like me and my triumphs will be your triumphs because there will be no difference, surrender all self generated thought of conflict, all difference is imaginary, it is not held and is alien to mind." I replied simply, my head turned to him from my place on the ceiling, "I am my desire." -A little later it gets really obvious. "With haste I flew forward and stabbed God in the eyes with my fingers, which flattened against the harder substance of Gods eyes, I cried out "This is for poverty, this is for the atomisation of life, this is for your prisons and the police, for all my friends who are lost yet alive, and all those you sent to hell which is a place on Earth. This is for everything." Soon events from the past unfold, and people I knew come into the picture such as Jay. Jay was a traveller; that is he moved from town to town, lived rough and begged. He had the unnerving attribute of being both friendly, warm, and a complete psychopath, loyal and perverse, he was a real good character for a book. I meet Jay again fishing in Hell. "I dropped my line in the molten lead from my rod. Immediately the rod bent almost double, despite its thickness. It pulled so hard I estimated that what ever was on the end must have been over two hundred pounds. I reeled in my rod and a giant fish splashed on the end of it, it looked like some kind of gigantic roach, its tail splashing molten lead at me as its body curved in the waves trying to get away. I landed the fish in the boat and it suffocated there its mouth open and body heaving, I marvelled at the square scales on its silver body, bigger than my hands. As I stood fascinated, the body of the fish, distorted as if something inside was trying to push its way out, a fist punched its way through, then two hands, pulled the fish apart, then before me was the crouched naked body of Jay, covered in a stinky fish slime, he held his nose and spoke nasally. "Hello Monster!" he said smoothly. Jay stood up tall, rocking only slightly; and threw chunks of fish in the water, now without the protection of its tough outer layers, the bits of fish flamed up as they entered the sea, with puffs of flame and billows of smoke. He held the rest of the carcass above his head, his arms at full length, and chucked that in after it; there was a huge flaming that threatened to engulf the boat, but it went out fast. I was pleased to see Jay, I had him picked out as my right hand man, there was something about him that persuaded you to trust him at the same time as acknowledging he wasn't entirely trust worthy, a slightly sly warmth, a look in the eyes that said he was tough and dependable, but somehow self centred. But, however he was useful, very handy; a good person to know. I asked a searching question. "How are you here? As far as I know you're still alive." Jay looked at me long and hard "Doesn't bloody look like it does it Monster. In Hell as well. What did I do to deserve that? A few fights, drug dealing, a couple of rich burglaries, fucking a tree on LSD, underage sex and a sexual assault in McDonalds that was nothing but feeling some ones leg, and I'm in Hell." Yes, he was really like that and he did all those things. The character of Jay is a rich part of the book, to which I am indebted to knowing him, not that many people will ever read it, but I live to write, quite literally. Another theme of the book is the yearning for togetherness, community, against the very real need for individuality, adventure and subjectivity. The two themes run through every religion, philosophy and form of politics to a varying degree of scientific application. It is not as simple as one or the other and both sides in the book take both approaches. There is no answer in human nature between the two, it is irreconcilable and all we can do is draw attention theoretically to the issue between fascism and anarchism, individuality and togetherness, though we do find more honest and liveable conditions in libertarianism than dictatorial politics. The problem between wanting togetherness and a shared identity, but being repulsed at having to give up subjectivity so pervades the book that many characters rebel against the human form, whilst not giving up the need for community, and become many headed monsters. But, the book insists, the need for adventure is the unifying theory that makes sense of our misery and creates a symbiosis between the conflicting forces. "As the ship rowed closer I realised it was the rule of these creatures, my brave men which is what they were, to reject the human form given by God for those of their own imagination, and to conjoin like the ultimate pack of animals, or; what I had seen in human riots when a crowd does indeed become a single and very different animal than the sum of its parts. I saw men who had formed their joints together to form the bodies of double kneed, twelve-foot men with two heads. Two had done that. The dragon with seven necks and six heads was also there, waiting in futility for my strange communion, for I was still attached to the human form, it still represented for me a thing of beauty and free autonomy." The book is all about conflict, but as Buddhists say, all conflict is imaginary, so I think, we are all in a state of symbiosis in a world where assistance between organisms is the norm even when it appears in the form of its opposite. That's all I want to say about the book.

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My lips were splattered in blood and my tongue licked them clean, the coppery taste exquisite. My concentration lapsed everything fell back to normal speed. The body in front of me doubled up and collapsed. Behind; the two headless bodies crouched to the left and to the right; collapsed in different directions. This revealed the scene behind the doorway.

Taking everything in at a glance I turned back to Judith and smiled. But Judith was not at the height of my gaze. I looked down and saw her in terrible contractions. I noticed some strange liquid dripping in mucous goo down the iron grill of the fire escape, splashing upwards as it landed down below.

I did not have time for this I turned back to my opponents. Jay shouldered past me and aimed his gun at God, who was there on his own. The gun shook, he didn’t fire. Jane burst out of the adjoining room firing rounds into God with her little Dillinger. They bounced off his head and body, nothing but a small chip flying off the mask like face. God laughed, “ha’-ha” the laugh turned into a belly laugh, “hah-hah-hah!” then a doubled up boom laugh, “Oh hah-hah-hah!” he got down on his knees and hit the floor theatrically, cracking its wooden floor boards “Oh dear, oh dear.”

Jay turned around as if to run, stopped when he got to me, paused; hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. Something fell into my pocket and I felt drained and weak, all my power gone. I pointed my gun at God any way, without hope, and I fired it repeatedly, two, three, four times. The bullets fell from the muzzle onto the floor in a clutter as I lowered it in dismay. God just looked on, a faint smile on what passed as his lips.

I reached into my jean pocket for the paper curse. It was stuck, immovable; as I tugged it neither did the paper tare.

Jane threw her gun down on the ground, tears adorned her eyes and she cried into her hands and shook “ahh!”

Judith continued to wreath on the ground in the throws of labour, she looked on at the scene and cried harder “ahh!”

Jay looked around at the scene his face in anguish, the way he was looking around he was considering leaving before things got nasty and his conscience heavier.

God got up off the ground his wooden face creaked under the strain of a huge grin, showing sharpened teeth, picking up lengths of rope from the desk I had not noticed. He picked me up and I struggled futilely as he wrapped it around me defeating my efforts with simple movements of a hand and trussing me up hand and feet. He did the same with Judith, tying her legs together too preventing her from giving birth. Then he tested the knots, made sure they were good and tight. Then he got a jar off the table and sort of poured Judith in it. He looked around at Jane and Jay shivering like the room had become a big fridge, considered them too inconsequential to bother with and shrugged his huge pin striped shoulders.

There was a loud commotion from down below, but nobody appeared here, they were being kept busy, if I was closer to the door, I thought, I could see what was happening.

I looked back at God feeling helpless, now it would all begin; his relentless revenge.

God picked up the jar with Judith in it; there were holes in the top so she could breathe. She fluttered about on her wings inside struggling with her tied body, looking just like a butterfly. She was still in contractions, screaming loudly, screams echoing quietly around the room and vibrating the Jar as she was prevented from giving birth “ahhhhhhhh” one long scream. God rattled the jar till her wings crumbled and her molecules rose up to escape the jar, he put it to his long nose and sniffed.

God spoke in reverence, and a buttered slice of humour “ahh the scent of the scarlet whore, to know her completely, shatter her and taste her and watch her reform, no harm done-yet.” He sniffed harder then put his nose in the air. Then he put the jar on his desk where it shook and moved as Judith flew into its sides.

Jane bolted for the door but God grabbed and held on to her by her knickers as she scrambled away. “Not so fast. I have some joyous plans for you.”

God picked Jane up in the air effortlessly, exhibiting tremendous strength. He held her against the wall, knocking her head, and picked off her bra with two fingers, destroying the cusp. Then he lifted her higher as she struggled and screamed plucked her pink knickers off down over her wriggling, kicking feet. God stretched his broad back to make the journey of the entire length of her body. Jane bit his hand and chewed a mouth full of spirit flesh that came off shredded in her mouth; she spat it in his face and smiled. Then she stuck her tongue out. God laughed and the flesh grew back.

God roared with laugher, “the Scarlet Whore and Satan’s precious selected concubine in one. This I will enjoy, are you watching Lucifer?”

I spat out sarcastically, pretending to be unmoved “I’ve seen the movie now the play. And you do like to ‘play’, don’t you God?”

“Oh it’s all in the play, the plays the thing” God commented in a drone, paying more interest to what he had in his huge hands.

God threw Jane to the floor, unbuttoned his trousers and with sizable cock held delicately in his hand, pushed it up the dizzy, half conscious Jane. “You remind me of Marry, you hardly move.” God joked.

Jane came around with that and looked at me, her mouth opened wide in disgust and humiliation. Then she looked at Jay who was free.

Jay looked agonised and then he said “Hey now God, come on. I never read this part in the fucking bible.”

God ignored Jay and smiled tauntingly at me as he shunted in powerful jerks, up on one hand “are you watching Lucifer? That’s the fun part for me.”

I said nothing and seethed in helpless hatred. I was thinking about doing the same to him.

God went “Oh-oh.” and finished off with one powerful shove; no staying power. He smiles drunkenly and wickedly at me.

I hissed under my breath “You are so going to die next time around.”

Jane was left on the floor she looked at me and cried silently.

As God pulled up his pants he said to Jay “Now it’s you’re turn to prove your loyalty, give her one.”

“Oh, okay” said Jay in a friendly manner smiling, he turned and hugged me “sorry Jon”.

Jay went over to God and patted his back and then shook his hand eagerly, an intent smile was on his face “Thanks for the opportunity”.

God withdrew his hand and looked at it, there was a piece of paper stuck to it with symbols on, he looked frantic and tried desperately to pull it off, he tore at it frantically. Jay moved well back, his face now showing righteous anger, flickering over to fear and back again.

Jay quizzed God turning his head and examining him, “You’re powerless? Good!” Jay moved his left arm back and stepped into it, taking a good swing at God that rocked his head. Satisfied Jay moved well back “I’ve been wanting to do that for fucking ages” he said smoothly nursing his fist and jumping for joy up and down on his toes.

I felt a surge of power in my body and gave a nasty laugh, “Your all mine!” I laughed at God, splitting off the hoops of rope on my body by tensing and flexing it. Ends of rope danced in the air happily.

Filled with power and joy I grabbed gods helpless right arm and twisted it behind is back, the paper curse crushing in his big fist, I slammed him against the wall near the door to the flaws below. The plaster cracked. I undid my fly and Gods trousers with my other hand, I struggled with the fastener and then they dropped, I laughed nastily because the big man looked silly as he snarled with his trousers round his ankles. “Hah-hah, how does it feel, how does it fucking feel” I shouted, getting close to his ear, reddening his ear with my hot breath.

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