Jonathan Cottam - The Urban Book of the Dead

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Urban Book of the dead is my second book to be published, after 'The Unrequited Zombie'. It is a rather less experimental work, though still unusual, vivid, and descriptive. I would describe the book as both psychedelic and surreal, being rather pedantic about the use of those two words. That is, if it were surreal I would be dealing with a psychological work, something that looked towards expanding knowledge of the Id, that primitive part of our nature that is repressed by social conventions and the need to plan to get what we want. It is, in that it is self gratifying without recourse to opinion, it is every animalistic urge that can only be released through art, because to do it any other way would have terrible repercussions. Having said that, next to my early work, it is not particularly arty or deep. It is psychedelic because it looks to reaching a higher consciousness by through creativity, to reach a state beyond the normal level of seeing things, it is also psychedelic and surreal in the commonly understood sense, it is 'trippy' and sometimes deals with drugs. It starts like this… "I floated above my body, I was a bubble fit to burst, I squeezed and struggled with my form, my clothes gripping and distorting my figure with their relative solidity, were the same ghost like material as the rest of me. Down below my face stared back at me; distorted and grotesque as the spirit shapes on the bark of trees, I felt my ghost face and it was etched there too, deforming me, chiselled by a million molecules of heroin, I had my wings, hung as from a pin, spread and feathered, and spanning the whole nicotine ceiling. I stared at the blue marbled arm; growing out like the gnarled branch of a tree, the fingers gesturing me towards it, and hanging from it, the syringe full of bubbles, blood and a quicksand of powdered death whirling like a vortex. A spoon lay on the floor and a small bit of cigarette filter in it, all having served a purely symbolic process. It seemed years of injecting powders and stuff flicked down to a dirty lemonade had paid off, perhaps a bubble could kill you after all." The book is I think taking one thing at least to a new level in literature, egomania. That is because the concept of the book is I the authors fight with god who is defeated, whilst at the same time dealing with my real life struggles as I go back through things that really actually happened to me in my drug filled and violent life as a drug dealer and through prison etcetera, and, changing them. I say egomania but again I mean the Id, the ego compromises, the Id does not. It is a very angry book because I am taking back the control that was taken from me, in that, to a very large extent I did not choose my life but it was forced on me, as with all the mishaps of all my dead friends who did not survive, through suicide, alcoholism, heroin overdose and murder. Enter God. God then is a symbol for society, capitalism, and the state, and also, plain bad luck. So is God then not God, is the book not satanic? My interest in black magic personally does not extend to believing in it, or God in any accepted sense either. I believe in magic as will, that Hitler could gain power through will is magic, that people can realise the future not through clairvoyance but precognition, taking in the world around them and understanding consciously or unconsciously where it is all going to lead, that kind of magic I believe, the other sort I only have a fair knowledge of as an interest and I am not a Satanist, that would be a misplacement of effort. "The noise got louder, but lower, rather than higher, so it travelled further and vibrated the walls. Crack's appeared in the walls in the form of a hundred distorted faces of people I had known, adventured and suffered with. A fragment of glass from a picture of 'Judith with the head of Hollerfernes' hit me in my eye, almost bursting my substance, which it settled in like a bloody monocle, magnifying the African tribal Fang mask in the centre of the wall, with its pale long wooden nose and owl like brow, its jutting chin; appeared to grow eyes that searched with the deepest hideous depth around my room and the dead body of me whose 'nakedness' I wanted to cover from the gaze. The mask bowed and came out of the wall, after it a huge body wearing the blue pinstripes of my wall paper and looking every bit the business man, come to settle my accounts, I was not about to make it easy. The scrambled voices became one, the word "Jonathan!" boomed. This was God, this was the confrontation I had been waiting for my whole life." The meaning of that is obvious in the pinstriped suit I think, but also a little later the meaning and symbolism is made totally obvious. "God spoke "I am the unity, I am the morals and the law, think like me and my triumphs will be your triumphs because there will be no difference, surrender all self generated thought of conflict, all difference is imaginary, it is not held and is alien to mind." I replied simply, my head turned to him from my place on the ceiling, "I am my desire." -A little later it gets really obvious. "With haste I flew forward and stabbed God in the eyes with my fingers, which flattened against the harder substance of Gods eyes, I cried out "This is for poverty, this is for the atomisation of life, this is for your prisons and the police, for all my friends who are lost yet alive, and all those you sent to hell which is a place on Earth. This is for everything." Soon events from the past unfold, and people I knew come into the picture such as Jay. Jay was a traveller; that is he moved from town to town, lived rough and begged. He had the unnerving attribute of being both friendly, warm, and a complete psychopath, loyal and perverse, he was a real good character for a book. I meet Jay again fishing in Hell. "I dropped my line in the molten lead from my rod. Immediately the rod bent almost double, despite its thickness. It pulled so hard I estimated that what ever was on the end must have been over two hundred pounds. I reeled in my rod and a giant fish splashed on the end of it, it looked like some kind of gigantic roach, its tail splashing molten lead at me as its body curved in the waves trying to get away. I landed the fish in the boat and it suffocated there its mouth open and body heaving, I marvelled at the square scales on its silver body, bigger than my hands. As I stood fascinated, the body of the fish, distorted as if something inside was trying to push its way out, a fist punched its way through, then two hands, pulled the fish apart, then before me was the crouched naked body of Jay, covered in a stinky fish slime, he held his nose and spoke nasally. "Hello Monster!" he said smoothly. Jay stood up tall, rocking only slightly; and threw chunks of fish in the water, now without the protection of its tough outer layers, the bits of fish flamed up as they entered the sea, with puffs of flame and billows of smoke. He held the rest of the carcass above his head, his arms at full length, and chucked that in after it; there was a huge flaming that threatened to engulf the boat, but it went out fast. I was pleased to see Jay, I had him picked out as my right hand man, there was something about him that persuaded you to trust him at the same time as acknowledging he wasn't entirely trust worthy, a slightly sly warmth, a look in the eyes that said he was tough and dependable, but somehow self centred. But, however he was useful, very handy; a good person to know. I asked a searching question. "How are you here? As far as I know you're still alive." Jay looked at me long and hard "Doesn't bloody look like it does it Monster. In Hell as well. What did I do to deserve that? A few fights, drug dealing, a couple of rich burglaries, fucking a tree on LSD, underage sex and a sexual assault in McDonalds that was nothing but feeling some ones leg, and I'm in Hell." Yes, he was really like that and he did all those things. The character of Jay is a rich part of the book, to which I am indebted to knowing him, not that many people will ever read it, but I live to write, quite literally. Another theme of the book is the yearning for togetherness, community, against the very real need for individuality, adventure and subjectivity. The two themes run through every religion, philosophy and form of politics to a varying degree of scientific application. It is not as simple as one or the other and both sides in the book take both approaches. There is no answer in human nature between the two, it is irreconcilable and all we can do is draw attention theoretically to the issue between fascism and anarchism, individuality and togetherness, though we do find more honest and liveable conditions in libertarianism than dictatorial politics. The problem between wanting togetherness and a shared identity, but being repulsed at having to give up subjectivity so pervades the book that many characters rebel against the human form, whilst not giving up the need for community, and become many headed monsters. But, the book insists, the need for adventure is the unifying theory that makes sense of our misery and creates a symbiosis between the conflicting forces. "As the ship rowed closer I realised it was the rule of these creatures, my brave men which is what they were, to reject the human form given by God for those of their own imagination, and to conjoin like the ultimate pack of animals, or; what I had seen in human riots when a crowd does indeed become a single and very different animal than the sum of its parts. I saw men who had formed their joints together to form the bodies of double kneed, twelve-foot men with two heads. Two had done that. The dragon with seven necks and six heads was also there, waiting in futility for my strange communion, for I was still attached to the human form, it still represented for me a thing of beauty and free autonomy." The book is all about conflict, but as Buddhists say, all conflict is imaginary, so I think, we are all in a state of symbiosis in a world where assistance between organisms is the norm even when it appears in the form of its opposite. That's all I want to say about the book.

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I put the picture back in my pocket and turned and looked at Jay “We had better get back, squeeze my hand tight.”

“Jon, this is not the place.” Jay said looking at me with a stylised fakery of romantic love, the eye lids fluttering, he looked at his limp burger and shrugged “It happens sometimes.”

I grabbed Jays hand and we were back at mine.

No sooner had we appeared and sat down on the couch with a joint sigh, than Judith appeared, still naked, still red with the head dress of skulls and gold horns, but something different about her.

“Will you put some clothes on” I said jealously “You’re going to get Jay all excited”.

Jay looked at me then back at Judith “Don’t mind me Monster” then Jay looked at me again “Besides isn’t she getting a little fat for me, now that girl I got you…”

Judith rubbed her bulging stomach as he spoke.

I shouted out “You’re pregnant!”

Judith replied indignantly “Yes. You didn’t use protection.”

I must have looked taken aback, I moved back in my seat “Isn’t being dead protection enough?”

“Not from the likes of you apparently” Judith said defensively.

I was made happy and amused by the news, since I had no children and Judith was the perfect biological mate. “Do I have to marry you now? An inexperienced young lad like me? You’re reputation precedes you, and I might even say you have an ill repute, ‘whore of Babylon ’!”

Jay laughed “Ha-ha, it’s an ill wind blows no good.”

I laughed myself “Ha!” I turned my arse and farted in Jays direction.

“Phew!” Jay said waving his hand.

“You might want to examine that and report me the good in it.” I laughed, we had high spirits, or; you might say; we were ‘high spirits’.

All this time Judith, whore of Babylon; broadly smiled. “You might want to see what that Gollum of yours is doing; oh I know about him, God doesn’t yet.” She gave a grin “You should expect some good news.”

I went to the place in the back of my mind where Redd’s consciousness existed, and I saw the picture of a heaving posterior, fat, white and spotted with a gapping dirty anus. I could hear familiar cries. Then I saw the hands of Redd; lobster phone in one hand and toothbrush razor in the other. He shoved the toothbrush up the bouncer’s arsehole, in and out and in and twisted it. There was an inhuman howl of pain, then the phone came down on his head with the clanging ring of the bell inside “clang”, then Jane had grabbed the phone and brought it down on his head with another “clang”, then again with a “clang”, only pain was keeping the man conscious as Jane got out from under him and ran out of the room quickly, grabbing her soiled knickers.

My Gollum jumped on her back, she tried to brush him off, then realising Redd was her saviour, let him hang on. Her eyes looking back at him, raised with an expression of complicity. Through the next room, the hand of God could not even grab her and three bouncers looked on surprised. Jane’s eyes now looked starry, as she entered the dance floors; like her mind was full of the silent flashing lights, her face and mind, green, red, blue. Down three flights of stairs, hugging the chrome railings, almost sliding down it, bent forward but looking back and out of the building before any one could react, as Redd looked backwards off his position on her shoulder, her escape was hardly registering on their faces which had only dawned full realisation as she left the building; one woman’s hand at the entrance reaching out and only snatching the night. The name of the club in bold neon fly killing violet, smiled its good will at their escape as Redd looked back.

“Redds bloody done it!” I shouted. Excitedly I said to the other two “We have to find her before they do.”

There was a solemn look on Judith’s face “Yes but Redd’s moved too soon.”

I stood up and stared at Judith “Well; we can talk about it later, now we have to find her before they do.”

Still standing I looked into my mind and asked Redd “Where are you taking her?”

Redd answered “To the McDonalds skip, I’m going to hide her in the bin quick, you have to get to her before God searches her out, it’s a matter of time.”

Judith and Jay snatched up zip guns and loaded them and we joined hands and tumbled through the ether and then we were back at McDonalds skips, this time on earth.

No sooner were we there and Jane ran into us around the corner, pushing out her hands as if to stop herself. She was my runaway train coming to a halt at the end of the tracks. My Gollum got up and rested on her shoulder facing us as Jane panted for breath, holding her side and doubling up, hand on her knee and moving up and down. She put one foot and then the other in the knickers in her hand and dragged them up. She must have streaked down the street naked; it could not have gone unnoticed.

Redd said “Now what will we do, this will never be over, he will snatch her back and kill us unless we kill him.”

The truth of the situation and what Judith had said to me before we left was dawning on me. “We have to get her back, the plan is for tonight, if we don’t get him tonight this will never end and he will get his turn to do it his way.”

Jane cried and hit me with her fists on my chest “This is all your fault for loving me, I haven’t even met you yet, you can’t send me back there this is your business.”

I replied stonily “My fault or not you have to go back or this will never end for you; but I won’t send you back unless I know you can escape at any time, I’m not sending you back for that. It’s unlikely they will start again tonight but if they do… Judith!”

“Yes?”

“Give me the smallest ladies pistol you can summon up, a Derringer; and a ring with a suicide capsule in it.” I demanded.

The two things appeared instantly in Judith’s hand and I passed them to Jane. “We will get you captured without suspicion, if they try anything shoot them, if that doesn’t work take the suicide pill and you will be away from them in the afterlife.”

Jane put the gun down her pants and looked like she had a cock, then she put the ring on.

I told her with some urgency in my voice “Maybe you had better put that in you’re bra.”

“I know what I’m doing” she said looking at me sternly.

I nearly fell over, hit by a wave of love emanating from her tears, she wiped them away, I felt splashed, it was like being hit by the spray from the ocean, then it was all dry and I was all washed up, beached on her face as my head fell against her and I kissed her. The lips remained hard. My face lost its constituency in the act and splashed her in turn.

She said nastily “Do you want me to take the pill now?” then her face softened with remorse.

I emptied a black bin bag from the skip, and burgers cascaded on to the floor, Jay saw what I was doing and helped me measure Jane up with the bin bag over her body so we knew where to tare the holes and how big, Jane still catching her breath, slipped into it.

I pointed out “Now you don’t look all that different from a lot of the girls in the street late at night.”

We four became invisible, Redd now on my shoulder; and we walked up the street with Jane, I watched her pausing jaunty walk, the little distracted slips and the unsure skips, as I whispered in her ear, she looked over her back for the source of the sound. Redd talked in my ear, we were then shoulder over shoulder as we walked, but to Jane, she was alone with a voice, however; watching her face it was giving her a thin breeze of comfort in the ear I was keeping warm out of the cold night with my frequent comments.

Passers by took her for a drunk schizophrenic or were too pissed to observe accurately, the bin liner could have been the latest fashion accessory; or; at least hen night dress of some one searching for their mates.

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