Jonathan Cottam - The Urban Book of the Dead

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Urban Book of the dead is my second book to be published, after 'The Unrequited Zombie'. It is a rather less experimental work, though still unusual, vivid, and descriptive. I would describe the book as both psychedelic and surreal, being rather pedantic about the use of those two words. That is, if it were surreal I would be dealing with a psychological work, something that looked towards expanding knowledge of the Id, that primitive part of our nature that is repressed by social conventions and the need to plan to get what we want. It is, in that it is self gratifying without recourse to opinion, it is every animalistic urge that can only be released through art, because to do it any other way would have terrible repercussions. Having said that, next to my early work, it is not particularly arty or deep. It is psychedelic because it looks to reaching a higher consciousness by through creativity, to reach a state beyond the normal level of seeing things, it is also psychedelic and surreal in the commonly understood sense, it is 'trippy' and sometimes deals with drugs. It starts like this… "I floated above my body, I was a bubble fit to burst, I squeezed and struggled with my form, my clothes gripping and distorting my figure with their relative solidity, were the same ghost like material as the rest of me. Down below my face stared back at me; distorted and grotesque as the spirit shapes on the bark of trees, I felt my ghost face and it was etched there too, deforming me, chiselled by a million molecules of heroin, I had my wings, hung as from a pin, spread and feathered, and spanning the whole nicotine ceiling. I stared at the blue marbled arm; growing out like the gnarled branch of a tree, the fingers gesturing me towards it, and hanging from it, the syringe full of bubbles, blood and a quicksand of powdered death whirling like a vortex. A spoon lay on the floor and a small bit of cigarette filter in it, all having served a purely symbolic process. It seemed years of injecting powders and stuff flicked down to a dirty lemonade had paid off, perhaps a bubble could kill you after all." The book is I think taking one thing at least to a new level in literature, egomania. That is because the concept of the book is I the authors fight with god who is defeated, whilst at the same time dealing with my real life struggles as I go back through things that really actually happened to me in my drug filled and violent life as a drug dealer and through prison etcetera, and, changing them. I say egomania but again I mean the Id, the ego compromises, the Id does not. It is a very angry book because I am taking back the control that was taken from me, in that, to a very large extent I did not choose my life but it was forced on me, as with all the mishaps of all my dead friends who did not survive, through suicide, alcoholism, heroin overdose and murder. Enter God. God then is a symbol for society, capitalism, and the state, and also, plain bad luck. So is God then not God, is the book not satanic? My interest in black magic personally does not extend to believing in it, or God in any accepted sense either. I believe in magic as will, that Hitler could gain power through will is magic, that people can realise the future not through clairvoyance but precognition, taking in the world around them and understanding consciously or unconsciously where it is all going to lead, that kind of magic I believe, the other sort I only have a fair knowledge of as an interest and I am not a Satanist, that would be a misplacement of effort. "The noise got louder, but lower, rather than higher, so it travelled further and vibrated the walls. Crack's appeared in the walls in the form of a hundred distorted faces of people I had known, adventured and suffered with. A fragment of glass from a picture of 'Judith with the head of Hollerfernes' hit me in my eye, almost bursting my substance, which it settled in like a bloody monocle, magnifying the African tribal Fang mask in the centre of the wall, with its pale long wooden nose and owl like brow, its jutting chin; appeared to grow eyes that searched with the deepest hideous depth around my room and the dead body of me whose 'nakedness' I wanted to cover from the gaze. The mask bowed and came out of the wall, after it a huge body wearing the blue pinstripes of my wall paper and looking every bit the business man, come to settle my accounts, I was not about to make it easy. The scrambled voices became one, the word "Jonathan!" boomed. This was God, this was the confrontation I had been waiting for my whole life." The meaning of that is obvious in the pinstriped suit I think, but also a little later the meaning and symbolism is made totally obvious. "God spoke "I am the unity, I am the morals and the law, think like me and my triumphs will be your triumphs because there will be no difference, surrender all self generated thought of conflict, all difference is imaginary, it is not held and is alien to mind." I replied simply, my head turned to him from my place on the ceiling, "I am my desire." -A little later it gets really obvious. "With haste I flew forward and stabbed God in the eyes with my fingers, which flattened against the harder substance of Gods eyes, I cried out "This is for poverty, this is for the atomisation of life, this is for your prisons and the police, for all my friends who are lost yet alive, and all those you sent to hell which is a place on Earth. This is for everything." Soon events from the past unfold, and people I knew come into the picture such as Jay. Jay was a traveller; that is he moved from town to town, lived rough and begged. He had the unnerving attribute of being both friendly, warm, and a complete psychopath, loyal and perverse, he was a real good character for a book. I meet Jay again fishing in Hell. "I dropped my line in the molten lead from my rod. Immediately the rod bent almost double, despite its thickness. It pulled so hard I estimated that what ever was on the end must have been over two hundred pounds. I reeled in my rod and a giant fish splashed on the end of it, it looked like some kind of gigantic roach, its tail splashing molten lead at me as its body curved in the waves trying to get away. I landed the fish in the boat and it suffocated there its mouth open and body heaving, I marvelled at the square scales on its silver body, bigger than my hands. As I stood fascinated, the body of the fish, distorted as if something inside was trying to push its way out, a fist punched its way through, then two hands, pulled the fish apart, then before me was the crouched naked body of Jay, covered in a stinky fish slime, he held his nose and spoke nasally. "Hello Monster!" he said smoothly. Jay stood up tall, rocking only slightly; and threw chunks of fish in the water, now without the protection of its tough outer layers, the bits of fish flamed up as they entered the sea, with puffs of flame and billows of smoke. He held the rest of the carcass above his head, his arms at full length, and chucked that in after it; there was a huge flaming that threatened to engulf the boat, but it went out fast. I was pleased to see Jay, I had him picked out as my right hand man, there was something about him that persuaded you to trust him at the same time as acknowledging he wasn't entirely trust worthy, a slightly sly warmth, a look in the eyes that said he was tough and dependable, but somehow self centred. But, however he was useful, very handy; a good person to know. I asked a searching question. "How are you here? As far as I know you're still alive." Jay looked at me long and hard "Doesn't bloody look like it does it Monster. In Hell as well. What did I do to deserve that? A few fights, drug dealing, a couple of rich burglaries, fucking a tree on LSD, underage sex and a sexual assault in McDonalds that was nothing but feeling some ones leg, and I'm in Hell." Yes, he was really like that and he did all those things. The character of Jay is a rich part of the book, to which I am indebted to knowing him, not that many people will ever read it, but I live to write, quite literally. Another theme of the book is the yearning for togetherness, community, against the very real need for individuality, adventure and subjectivity. The two themes run through every religion, philosophy and form of politics to a varying degree of scientific application. It is not as simple as one or the other and both sides in the book take both approaches. There is no answer in human nature between the two, it is irreconcilable and all we can do is draw attention theoretically to the issue between fascism and anarchism, individuality and togetherness, though we do find more honest and liveable conditions in libertarianism than dictatorial politics. The problem between wanting togetherness and a shared identity, but being repulsed at having to give up subjectivity so pervades the book that many characters rebel against the human form, whilst not giving up the need for community, and become many headed monsters. But, the book insists, the need for adventure is the unifying theory that makes sense of our misery and creates a symbiosis between the conflicting forces. "As the ship rowed closer I realised it was the rule of these creatures, my brave men which is what they were, to reject the human form given by God for those of their own imagination, and to conjoin like the ultimate pack of animals, or; what I had seen in human riots when a crowd does indeed become a single and very different animal than the sum of its parts. I saw men who had formed their joints together to form the bodies of double kneed, twelve-foot men with two heads. Two had done that. The dragon with seven necks and six heads was also there, waiting in futility for my strange communion, for I was still attached to the human form, it still represented for me a thing of beauty and free autonomy." The book is all about conflict, but as Buddhists say, all conflict is imaginary, so I think, we are all in a state of symbiosis in a world where assistance between organisms is the norm even when it appears in the form of its opposite. That's all I want to say about the book.

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Then she spoke “Of course; well what else would you think.”

I scrutinised Judith and analysed her. Judith was sometimes a transformation of Jane in 17th century Italian, fiery and forcefully sexual. At other times she seemed too manly to be Jane, the opposite of her internal feminine vitality that had erupted when she became a crab. It revealed complexity, but with the outer simplicity of all effective authority. This was a Jane who had always had power.

Where as Jane now, seemed a symbol of female helplessness, her compassion and vulnerability stretched thin like the skin of a hymen stretched over the soul looking out in her face, God using it to suffocate her with strong hands, and she needed to poke a hole in it to survive.

Jane was an articulation of 21st century capitalism, Judith had missed capitalism altogether. She was from an unfragmented time when people found it easier to be self reliable precisely because they were not atomised and forced to be self reliable, standing on their own, all against all.

Judith was less Jane like than all the Jane’s I had imagined and fantasised with the help of my marvellous pillar that held up the temple of my thoughts to her in my wild imaginings, that fleshy pillar I caressed and adored when my head hit the pillow.

Getting back to the conversation, I pointed out “When I was in Hell; they sent me back, as you can see from the fifties art décor” I pointed at the rocket.

“They thought you were trapped, they were trying to help.” Judith stated with a circular movement of her head.

I sighed “So. What do you suggest?”

“A fishing trip. A fishing trip in the ‘ Lake of Fire ’.”

Judith continued in a voice calculated to charm “There’s the boat man and well you have the right coinage stuck in your waste band, I’d take a net and even a rod, the lake is molten lead, so don’t fall in, I won’t be there to catch you.”

I used to fish now and then, so I went into the kitchen cupboard, and took out a rod and net for holding fish. When I came back in the living room, Judith held out a much bigger net.

I took the net and asked “are you going to get me there?”

Judith looked annoyed “You’ve got to use your own magic more, it’s really, really strong. This is the last time.”

Judith put her hand behind her back, bent her back to get leverage, and slapped me hard in the face with a fish. The living room disappeared and everything went blinding light.

I found myself on a jetty made of wood, which some how was not corroded, it spanned out into a sea of red molten metal, the sea glowed and was emblazoned by the Sun and ached the eyes, making me nurse them with my hands; at the end of the jetty was the boatman with a yellow water/lead proof Mac and matching triangular hat, his face was a skull with green shaggy beard, as I approached it became clear the beard was overgrown moss, obviously old bony couldn’t grow a proper beard. He held out his hand for the right coin and I put a bullet in it, he looked down at it and then looked at me, I put my gun to his skull before he could protest and squeezed the trigger. The skull fragmented; pieces dancing in the air on a red background; if he had any blood; you wouldn’t see it against the sky. The hat fell on top of his shoulders and the body collapsed.

“That was easy!” I remarked.

There was cruel wind of terrible heat blowing off smoke from my body. I undressed the corpse of his Mac and hat, putting them on; immediately there was some relief, the garments made my body pour sweat though, something I thought I couldn’t do, since before all sweat had evaporated before it could form; now I was literally drinking it as it flowed into my mouth.

There was a wooden rowing boat at the end of the jetty. It swayed like a small boat on water would sway, but in the pulse of this evil sea it was endowed with a fast rhythmic purpose that seemed to take it closer to me rather than my approaching it. The boat looked weather worn but I did not know how this could be except that it had been designed that way as some strange aesthetic; for; if it had been made out of some perishable wood, it would indeed of perished by the intolerable heat, that no earthly body or substance could endure.

I sat carefully into the boat, causing it to rock, but not so much that the molten substance flowed in and dissolved me, I untied the boat and it floated of at a bob, before I had even set to the oars. I grabbed the oars and started rowing out in earnest, feeling that if I was damned I might as well get on with it. But the current took me out fast anyway, and glowing waves started to pitch my boat up and down, I was sliding down them then riding up, and they got mighty deep so it was like being swallowed, and the wind hit me, flapping the boat mans Mac and unsteadying the hat on my head, which I pulled down firm. I adjusted the collar of the Mac also, to give my face and neck more protection.

I slid down a steep incline of a wave, may be fifteen feet of drop. A wave came over the side of the boat, so I foolishly stood, for a moment I surfed there, looking up at the clouds of yellow as formless demented beasts that tore apart and cannibalised themselves. Then with a shock the lead axed my feet dissolving them, so at the bottom of the incline I had fallen on my knees before the Sun, which was mighty strange, I shaded my eyes with my hand, salutary. The clouds had passed over the Sun, breathing life into it, giving it the shaded and animated dimensions of a billowing angry face, from which tentacles of light, like snaky living dreads, lashed the sea. Its powerful face seemed to swear expletives, then as my boat appeared to touch it, my boat settled and straightened and took on the appearance of a crack pipe over its ‘o’ shaped mouth, the wind billowed like the entire world was nothing but a drug ember being sucked up.

I left my imagination there, for it was cementing a reality, I was in danger of giving the Sun life and obliterating this planet, my own magic strength staggered me, it was true after all, about my magic.

Skulls and hands pushed out of the water, their screams were terrible, carried off by the howls of the wind, the hands grabbed at my boat and grew flesh, I got ready to cast my net, but the boat sped off again along another wave. When it stopped again the bodies were gone and the sea relatively still, only roughly rocking the boat.

I dropped my line in the molten lead from my rod. Immediately the rod bent almost double, despite its thickness. It pulled so hard I estimated that what ever was on the end must have been over two hundred pounds. I reeled in my rod and a giant fish splashed on the end of it, it looked like some kind of gigantic roach, its tail splashing molten lead at me as its body curved in the waves trying to get away. I landed the fish in the boat and it suffocated there its mouth open and body heaving, I marvelled at the square scales on its silver body, bigger than my hands.

As I stood fascinated, the body of the fish, distorted as if something inside was trying to push its way out, a fist punched its way through, then two hands, pulled the fish apart, then before me was the crouched naked body of Jay, covered in a stinky fish slime, he held his nose and spoke nasally.

“Hello Monster!” he said smoothly.

Jay stood up tall, rocking only slightly; and threw chunks of fish in the water, now without the protection of its tough outer layers, the bits of fish flamed up as they entered the sea, with puffs of flame and billows of smoke. He held the rest of the carcass above his head, his arms at full length, and chucked that in after it; there was a huge flaming that threatened to engulf the boat, but it went out fast.

I was pleased to see Jay, I had him picked out as my right hand man, there was something about him that persuaded you to trust him at the same time as acknowledging he wasn’t entirely trust worthy, a slightly sly warmth, a look in the eyes that said he was tough and dependable, but somehow self centred. But, however he was useful, very handy; a good person to know.

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