Liz Fraser - The Yummy Mummy’s Survival Guide

5. Moses basket

I was sure we didn’t need one of these, partly because the name is as unappealing as the object itself, and partly because I didn’t see what was wrong with letting my baby sleep in the top half of the pram for a while. Or a large cardboard box—it’s not as though the baby will notice. Having bought the least hideous one I could find, I was very glad I did: much more comfortable (and socially acceptable) for the baby, and it was even quite cute. However, I would never leave my baby in a Moses basket in a stand: a disaster waiting to happen, surely? The floor is the best place, preferably right next to your bed to start off with, so that you can just finish a feed, turn over and pop your baby back in again.

6. Cot and travel cot

Not much to say here, except that the top bar should be high enough to stop a nine-month-old baby from nose-diving onto the floor. Choosing a cot bed is quite cunning, because you will be able to squeeze a good few years out of it. Just using a travel cot is a bad idea, because they are less sturdy, they often have fabric sides which rustle if your baby wriggles against them, and they look fairly hideous. Get a nice wooden one, and sit back and admire. We swore we didn’t really need a travel cot (did we think we needed anything , in fact?) but it has come in useful on hundreds of holidays and weekends with friends.

7. Mattresses, sheets, blankets

For some weird reason we are happy to spend a fortune looking after our own backs and necks, but make do with a horrible synthetic-foam mattress with a plastic cover for our babies. Considering how much time they spend on it, this is pretty mean, not to mention unhealthy. Get a supportive, breathable mattress made from natural fibres if possible (The Natural Mat Company is a great place to start looking) for your baby’s cot, and find sheets which actually fit. There seem to be a million different cot shapes and sizes, and buying a ‘standard’ sheet size never worked for me. Or maybe I’m just hopeless at making a mini bed.

NB: Don’t put your baby under a duvet for at least six months.They wriggle around all over the place, and will end up kicking the duvet over their head and suffocating. Stick to blankets or a baby sleeping bag, and if it’s cold then put an extra layer of clothing on the baby, rather than in the cot.

8. Baby gym

Excellent, excellent investment. No sweat or Lycra involved here, just some bright, shiny objects which dangle above your baby’s head as she lies on a mat. There are loads of different types, but my favourites were the soft ones which fold up—you can take them away with you and ensure a happy, occupied baby while you’re on holiday or visiting relatives.

9. Bouncy chair

Bouncy chairs allow for more stretching and bouncing than car seats, which babies like. Until your baby can sit up unaided, a bouncy chair is the only way you will be able to go to the loo, wash your hair, or do anything else which requires two hands.

10. Non-slip rubber bath mat

Cheap, not very pretty, but very useful—it makes bath-time less like trying to catch an eel in a Jacuzzi.

11. Changing mat

Always far too flouncy and unattractive, but as they’re going to have a fair amount of poo and other nasties wiped on them, I don’t suppose it really matters. The most important thing is that it’s long enough—you don’t want your baby to have outgrown it within four months, and have her bottom resting on the carpet.

12. Cupboard and drawers

Junior fashionistas have a ridiculous amount of clothing considering how little there is to actually clothe. The wardrobe I started out with was woefully too small, and I upgraded within three months to something much bigger. Twenty babygros, ten snow-suits (because everybody will give you one), hundreds of socks and unworn baby shoes, and all the clothes your baby is yet to grow into have to go somewhere , and anything smaller than a full-sized armoire with five drawers is too small.

13. High chair

Not for at least six months, if not more, but at some stage within the first year you will need something better than a bouncy chair for feeding your growing baby. A high chair should be the opposite of your desired body shape: think sturdy, chunky and practical. Those tall ones with long, skinny legs terrify me—my babies would topple those over in three seconds during a particularly lively feeding session. Ours converts into a table and chair, which will be very useful just as soon as we can stop producing yet more babies who need it as a high chair. My daughter is still waiting for a desk…

14. Muslin squares

When my first college friend joined me in Yummy Mummyhood, I remember giving her a box of beautifully wrapped muslin squares—they were the most useful baby things I ever bought myself, and I knew that everybody else would plump for impractical bonnets and My Baby’s First Photo Album schmaltz instead. Her face displayed a look I can only describe as something between disappointment and disgust. I bet she regrets it now. I became so used to having a muslin square over my left shoulder to catch any post-feed spills that I frequently walked around with one even though my baby was somewhere else. They are also indispensable for lying your baby down on if you need an emergency change somewhere less than spotless, as a very thin layer in hot summer months instead of a blanket, or as a makeshift sunshade if you’ve left yours at home as I always seemed to.

15. Bibs

Loads and loads and loads. Soft ones which do up at the back are best, unless you want to smear egg into your baby’s hair as you remove it. Done that many times.

16. Changing bag

This will go with you everywhere from now on, and should be able to fit a nappy, wipes, a bottle of milk, a food jar, a spoon, one change of baby clothes, small toys, a travel changing mat and some lipstick. It doesn’t need to be designer, but something pretty which you will be proud to carry everywhere with you will do.

17. A baby sling

This is not in case you do break one of his arms while getting him dressed, but to carry him around in if you don’t fancy heaving the pram over any rough terrain, or when you could do with sharing some body heat. Front carriers (aka papooses or slings) are very useful for times when a wheeled vehicle is unnecessary or inappropriate. Make sure the part near your baby’s mouth is removable and washable—it will get disgustingly pasted with slobber and bits of sick. That covers the essential items you should get for your new baby. It’s a huge list, and it costs a large fortune, but, unless you subscribe to the ‘swaddling clothes and an old rag doll’ approach to childcare, then you should find them all very useful or even essential. Best send your bank manager some flowers, smartish.

Things You Will Feel You Should Buy, but Don’t Need and Won’t Use

Baby bath.See Bathing Your Babyin Part Six.

Cot bumpers.Totally unnecessary, very flouncy and possibly dangerous due to the loose ties.

Pillow.Babies need to lie flat, because their necks just aren’t up to any crooking. Apart from the fact that they’ll just end up underneath the pillow anyway. No pillow.

Changing station.The floor will do. Safer, cheaper and takes up much less room, which will now be at a premium.

Baby rucksack thing.Unless you live in the Highlands, you will spend a lot of money (upwards of £60 for a good one) on a large unfoldable object which lives in the attic. Borrow this from a friend for the three occasions you’ll ever need one.