Dee Snider: Teenage Survival Guide

DEE SNIDER'S

Teenage Survival Guide

Dee Snider and Philip Bashe

A DOLPHIN BOOK

Doubleday & Company, Inc., Garden City, New York

I dedicate this book to my son Jesse and my wife Suzette. Thanks for never once questioning my dream and for standing by me throughout it all. I love you.

Dee Snider

"We're Not Gonna Take It" by D. Snider, Copyright © 1984 Snidest Music Co., ASCAP.

"Lookin' Out for #1," by D. Snider, Copyright © 1985 Snidest Music Co., ASCAP. I I

"S.M.F." by D. Snider. Copyright © 1984 Snidest Music Co., ASCAP. "Be Chrool to Your Scuel," by D. Snider. Copyright © 1985 Snidest Music Co., ASCAP. |

"I Believe in You" by D. Snider, Copyright © 1985 Snidest Music Co. ASCAP.

"I'll Never Grow Up, Now," by D. Snider, Copyright ® 1981 Snidest Music Company. Inc., ASCAP. 'The Fire Still Burns," by D. Snider, Copyright © 1985 Snidest Music Co., ASCAP.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Snider, Dee. Dee Snider's teenage survival guide.

"A Dolphin book." Bibliography: p. Summary: Gives advice to teenagers on a variety of topics including friendship, self-esteem, parents, sex, pregnancy, and abortion. 1. Adolescence—Juvenile literature. 2. Youth—Attitudes—Juvenile literature. [1. Conduct of life] I. Bashe, Philip. II, Title. III Title: Teenage survival guide.

HQ796.S556 1987 305.2'35 88-32963

ISBN 0-385-23899-1

ISBN 0-385-23900-9 (pbk.)

Copyright © 1987 by Dee Snider All Rights Reserved

Printed In the United States of America

First Edition

Dee Snider would like to thank Stephen King; Alice Cooper, Lemmy Kilmister and Motorhead; Ozzy Osbourne; Robert Plant; Brian Johnson, Angus and Malcolm Young and Cliff Williams of AC/DC; Geezer Butler, Tony Iommi and Bill Ward of Black Sabbath; Phil Carson; Bobcat Goldthwait; Howard Stern (Go easy on me); David Letterman (You too, Dave).

Charlie Barecca; Marty Callner; Ms. Edwards; Jeanette Gargiulo; Willy Hauser; Don Mannello; Kenny Neall; Roger Offner (Godachi); Prank Schenker; Kitty Snider; my dog Bubba. pAlso: Mark Puma; Pam Rousakis; ICM; Clayton Knowles; Terri Baker; Jay Jay French, Mark Mendoza and Eddie Ojeda of Twisted Sister. Spe­cial thanks to my parents, Bob and Marge Snider, my brothers Frank, Matt, Mark and Doug; and my sister Sue.

And to all those who abused, neglected and treated me like garbage, thanks for the hang-ups. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have been able to write this book. Then again, maybe I'd be better off.

Philip Bashe would like to thank the following people for their contributions to the creation of this book.

First, the following persons and organizations for their input and for supplying materials:

Al-Anon; Alateen; Alcoholics Anonymous; American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy; American Association of Suicidology; American Bar Association; American Council on Education; American Foundation for the Prevention of Venereal Disease, Inc.; American Humane Society; American Psychiatric Association; American Psychological Association; Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders; Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.; Association of SexEducators, Counselors and Therapists; Birthright, Inc.; Centers for Disease Control; Child Welfare League of America, Inc.; Family Service America; Hofstra University Counseling Center; Home Run; Legal Aid Society; Medicaid; Nassau County Department of Health; National Abortion Federation; National Association of College Admissions Counseling; National Center for Health Statistics; National Council on Alcoholism; National Gay and Lesbian Task Force; National Health Information Clearinghouse; National Institute on Drug Abuse; National Network of Youth and Runaway Services; National Runaway Switch-board; New York State Department of Social Services; Planned Parenthood Federation of America; Poison Control; Right to Life; Runaway Hotline; Rick Seymour of the Haight-Ashbury Free Medical Clinics; Holly Shaw; Dr. Gaylord Shimnoski; Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

Special thanks to Sarah Lazin; Stephanie franklin; and Michael Shore.

A very special thanks to Patty Romanowski Bashe for her input and invaluable insights.

Most of all, thanks to Robert M. Bashe and the late Evelyn J. Bashe, for doing it right

And thanks to Pat Boone.

We'd both like to thank our editor at Dolphin/Doubleday, Jim Fitzgerald, who conceived the project; his assistant, Casey Fuetsch; Lisa Wager; and Paul Bresnick.

They [adolescents] now seem to love luxury, they have bad manners and contempt for authority, they show disrespect for adults and spend their time hanging around places gossiping with one another. They ore ready to contradict their parents, monopolize the conversation and company, eat gluttonously and tyrannize their teachers...

—Socrates, circa 400 b.c.

Oh, you're so condescending, your gall is never-ending. We don't want nothin', not a thing from you. Your life is trite and jaded, boring and confiscated. If that's your best, your best won't do.

—"we're not gonna take it," twisted sister

One generation passeth away and another generation cometh . . . and there is no new thing under the sun.

—Ecclesiastes 1:9

I didn't want to do this.

I mean, who am I to be writing a book for teenagers, advising them on how to get through "teens years," when my own youth could hardly be a role model and certainly not what I'd call a real good time. As a matter of fact, throughout my inglorious teens I was a nerd.

But maybe that's all the more reason for me to be writing this. We nerds can be pretty insightful when it comes to analyzing the problems of growing up because, with few friends and even fewer dates, we have so much free time to think about them. And, it seems, the bigger the nerd, the more accurate the insights. And I was one bignerd [mean, too).

Teenage Survival Guide is not a map that will magically lead you down the road from your teen years to adulthood. What i am offering are facts and my ideas about growing up. Although not all these situations will apply to you, I'm willing to bet that a good number of the problems i faced and feelings i had will ring true. Maybe through my experiences, you can better understand yourself and those around you. You might even come to the realization that your life as you know it can change. Look at me: avoided in junior high and high school, and today a heavy-metal rock-star celebrity and Boss-o'-Chicks, (And through it all I've remained humble, as you can tell!) Sometimes just being able to identify a problem and realizing that many kids are running into the same problem is step one of the solution.

Over the years I've noticed that I am obsessed with the hardships of adolescence; I write about them constantly in my songs for Twisted Sister, and now in greater detail in this book. One reason I am so attuned to and feel such a bond with teenagers is that I really felt cheated out of my own adolescence by my parents, my peers, my teachers—everybody. When I was writing "We're Not Gonna Take It," I tapped the anger I used to feel from constantly being stepped on. When nothing seemed to be going right, I'd retreat to my room and put on a record. Listening to rock & roll—real loud, or at least as loud as my parents would let me and my $25 stereo could go—gave me temporary salvation from my insecurities and anxieties. Another song, "I'll Never Grow Up, Now," came from a bad memory of always being hounded to give up the band, get a "real" job, cut my hair and settle down. So I suppose that makes Teenage Survival Guide a part of the multivolume-set teenage rock opera I probably will never record. It may lack screaming guitars and thunderous drums, but you can understand the words. I hope.