Dee Snider - Teenage Survival Guide

Those standards of beauty also change. During the Renaissance women with big, round bellies were considered the epitome of attractiveness. In the 1940s husky, buxom actresses such as Jane Russell had young men panting. Since the 1960s, however, thin has been in, and some young women carry their fear of fatness to an extreme, developing eating disorders.

Experts believe that eating disorders currently affect as many as one in five young women between the ages of twelve and thirty. Only 4 percent of all anorexics are men. Anorexia is literally self-starvation. The anorexic is usually well behaved, a perfectionist, and not eating is a way for her to exert control over her body just as she does in other aspects of her life. She is also a person who has low self-esteem, insists she is too heavy and continues to starve herself. Anorexics can die from starvation or from complications of near-starvation.

Almost half of all anorexics eventually suffer from bulimia, which means "insatiable hunger." A bulimic, or binger/purger, stuffs herself with food, then intentionally vomits or forces herself to excrete by taking lots of laxatives. Bulimia is what claimed singer Karen Carpenter's life in 1983, and other celebrities such as actress Jane Fonda and Cherry Boone, daughter of, you guessed it, our hero Pat, have talked publicly about their experiences with the disease.

Both anorexia and bulimia can be treated successfully, through medical attention and, in some cases, hospitalization, Psychotherapy may also be needed, for at the root of any eating disorder is a psychological problem; anorexia and bulimia are just physical symptoms. Anorexics and bulimics are not merely obsessed with our culture's demand for thinness; they are unhappy people who are unhappy about themselves.

The same is often true of obese, or excessively fat, people. Similar problems, different ways of coping. Dieting alone will not help, and counseling is recommended to resolve the problems that led to the weight increase in the first place. You may have an overeating disorder if you:

• Eat even when you're not hungry.

• Eat at mealtimes and binge secretly.

• Overeat when you're upset, anxious, happy, angry.

• Eat to spite others who comment on your weight.

• Are twenty or more pounds over your ideal weight.

All teenagers should consult a physician when they are dieting, to tailor a plan just for you. A safe, sensible diet might be one in which you eat 500 fewer calories a day. One pound of fat requires 3,500 calories to maintain, so you would lose one pound a week. Avoid starvation diets, which are bad for you physically, mentally and emotionally. To grow and feel well, you must eat enough body building foods. Dieting of any kind should be accompanied by exercise, to burn off fat and to build muscle. Whatever you do, don't take diet pills, even over-the-counter brands, because they can cause anxiety, agitation, dizziness and other potentially dangerous side effects.

If you are suffering from an eating disorder, or someone you know is, there are many treatment centers able to help you. Consult the Help Yourself chapter at the back of this book for their addresses and phone numbers.

Fortunately, as you grow older, your freedom to control your life includes your appearance. And your appearance may change naturally. How many average-looking teens evolve into distinguished-looking men, such as Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones, who looks better at age fifty than he did at twenty-five. Or plain girls who acquire a gracefulness as they mature into womanhood.

Sometimes people have to grow into their faces and bodies. I'm convinced that I am one of these people, and when I turn fifty, I'm going to be a smokin' dude! On the other hand, there are cute twelve-year-olds whose faces never mature along with their bodies and who look less cute as adults. Attractiveness is relative and changes all the time. You see it at high school reunions: The male heartthrob with the gorgeous full head of hair is now fat and bald. The prettiest girl no longer turns heads like she used to.

I know what you're saying: "What do I do now?" If it's going to make you feel better about yourself, analyze your features and make the most of what you've got. If you wear glasses, either take the time to purchase a cooler pair, or get contact lenses. If you've got a long or large nose, and I speak from experience, learn to wear your hair in a manner that deemphasizes the offending proboscis. If one of your strong points is your eyes, feature your eyes. If you've got an awesome bod, work out and make it better. I decided to stop pretending I was a matinee idol and accept the way I looked. I was skinny. Now, how was I going to maximize it? To develop an awesome bod, I got into body building, an activity I still pursue. I discovered I looked better by letting my curly hair dry naturally instead of futilely trying to tame it with a brush or straighten it with a blow dryer. A bottle of peroxide didn't hurt.

You will find, thankfully, that as you get older, looks become less and less important. Naturally there will always be those who view others as objects and want "a stud" or "a fox" to show off like a possession. Some people never outgrow their childish and shallow attitudes. Like myself. (Just kidding.)

Your looks are merely your packaging. If you want to improve them, fine, do whatever you feel you have to do. Ultimately you will be judged on your personality, not on your pretty blue eyes or great build. Besides, a good person is pretty or handsome no matter what he or she looks like, just as there are plenty of people who are attractive only until they open their mouths.

Is filmmaker Woody Allen considered handsome by "normal" standards? No. But his intellect, humor and accomplishments make him sexy to thousands of women. Talent is sexy. Kindness is sexy. Confidence is sexy. Believe it or not, whereas I was unattractive as a youth, I now have women squeal over me. Suddenly my fame has made me physically attractive in an interesting way. My face, which was once my curse, has become my fortune, which is positive proof that this is a pretty strange world we live in.

It's those inner qualities that last a lifetime, not cosmetics. If you have good looks, consider yourself blessed; but never fool yourself into thinking you will be able to coast on a handsome or pretty face forever. I believe that everyone is capable of being attractive, And there is practically nothing that cannot be overcome, Work at that packaging if it is going to make you feel good about yourself and exude confidence. But work doubly hard at improving the product. And that brings us to the end of our marketing meeting.

I wasn't always a nerd. In fact, up until the time I was about ten, I was pretty popular and a good student. Then my parents moved three short miles from Freeport to neighboring Baldwin. Trouble.

My first day at Schubert Elementary School I strutted into the playground feeling pretty cocky and proceeded to pick a fight with, unbeknown to me, the toughest kid in the school. In front of the entire student body, he picked me up and hurled me against a brick wall, like an Olympic athlete tossing a shotput.

Bam!

The die was cast. I became an outcast. Had I beaten him up, of course, I would have been regarded as the coolest dude in school. As Charlie Brown from the comic strip "Peanuts" often said, "If I catch the ball, I'm the hero. If I drop it, I'm the goat." In my case, I grew horns. I was branded because I had been stupid enough not to scope out the male competition in the playground beforehand.

My second day at my new elementary school, I met a gorgeous girl who had been branded a "cootie" all the way back in kindergarten. She had no friends, cried a lot and was miserable But when she turned twelve years old, she really began to blossom physically and turned into a beautiful young women. Yet no one would go near her. To them, she still had cooties. (By the way, what the hell are cooties anyway?)