Liz Fraser - The Yummy Mummy’s Survival Guide

So if you are wondering why there is quite so much reference to food and body size in this book from now on, that is why. Spend 20 minutes in a playground or a toddler group and just listen to the conversations: 80% of them are about biscuits, picking at food, losing weight, trying to get fit or just feeling fat. I had a conversation with a stunningly attractive mother of four last week who told me she only started to accept and like her ‘new’ body when her first child was 12. It’s not just me. It’s motherhood.

Anorexia

If you are truly anorexic then you have done well to conceive in the first place, and you should get some medical advice about nutrition for your pregnancy. The main person who will suffer if you don’t eat enough is you: I have known some unbelievably skinny women produce healthy, chubby babies, but they themselves look drained, pale, and pretty rough. Also, we don’t know much about what long-term effects your being slightly undernourished can do to your growing baby. When the breastfeeding kicks in, you really do need to have extra reserves in place if you want to remain healthy, so get some help if you think you should be eating more but can’t.

Bulimia

Again, if you make yourself sick occasionally, regularly or even frequently, you probably won’t stop the day you become pregnant. Bulimia is so widespread these days that there are probably hundreds of pregnant women who continue to make themselves sick, and are terrified of what it’s doing to their baby. I have been an on-and-off sufferer since I was about fifteen, and it was only a recent health scare which finally kicked the habit abruptly and permanently. Being pregnant didn’t, and I carried on being sick every so often throughout all of my pregnancies. My babies were all absolutely fine. The worst part is the guilt and worry, and if you can get some counselling then do. Probably the worst side-effect of bulimia from a baby’s point of view is that it puts your stomach under considerable stress, it can throw your electrolyte balance off-kilter, and it makes you worried.

Taking laxatives

This seems like a very bad idea to me. Laxatives reduce the amount of nutrients getting into your blood, and hence into your baby’s blood. Talk to your doctor as soon as you can about this sort of problem.

There have been many studies into the effects of eating disorders in pregnancy on babies, but there is little to support the idea that having a minor eating problem can put your baby at greater risk of miscarriage or abnormalities. What does seem to be agreed upon is that issues about body image and food do not go away during pregnancy, and can even get worse afterwards unless some kind of counselling is offered. If you are worried, embarrassed or confused about any of these issues, then please, please talk to your doctor or midwife, who should be able to point you in the right direction. Hiding won’t help anybody.

Pampering—Yes Please! But Is It Still Safe?

If indulging in a little luxury and pampering were out of bounds during these most trying months, then Life really would be a total bitch. Luckily, she isn’t, and she has a heart after all. Either that or she just has a well-developed sense of what’s important, and knows that keeping a pregnant lady looking and feeling good is near the top of the list.

So, what can and what can’t you treat yourself to? Here we fall into the ‘not recommended if you are pregnant’ trap: manufacturers are so terrified of getting sued by irate mothers blaming every skin upset, disastrous hair colour or streaky tan-marks on a product they’ve used, that they slap a warning on everything from two-minute hair packs to nail buffers. Actually, not nail buffers, but that’s probably only a matter of time. The only way to keep up your beauty routine and to enjoy some glamour-restoring treats during your pregnancy is by turning up the common-sense dial once again, and trusting your own instincts.

Hair Colouring

See the box of hair-care tips from Daniel Galvin on page 33.

Aromatherapy

To get all serious for a second, you should only use essential aromatherapy oils if you know what you’re doing, and never during the first three months of your pregnancy. Some essential oils are very dangerous if used during pregnancy, and absolutely not worth messing around with. Having said that, the correct blends of oils can restore your sense of mental well-being, happiness and balance, and an aromatherapy facial is a fantastically relaxing and effective way to care for your pregnant skin and worried brain. Book into a salon which caters for Yummy Mummies-to-be, and talk to your beauty therapist about what you need first.

Essential oils to AVOIDinclude basil, camphor, bay, cedarwood, clary sage, clove, cinnamon, hyssop (what?), juniper, marjoram, myrrh, sage and rosemary.

Essential oils which are still OKinclude peppermint, for morning sickness, lemon for indigestion, lavender, geranium and rosewood for itchy stretch marks, and grapefruit and orange to combat fatigue, now that coffee’s off the menu.

Massage

Essential for pregnancy survival, especially in the later months, but you need to go to a specialist who knows how to handle and pummel your changing body. There are special positions, techniques and even bizarre objects to lean yourself over to make the whole experience safer and more comfortable. Business-savvy health spas up and down the country are cottoning on to the fact thatYummy Mummies are desperate for this sort of pampering, and there are new ones opening every month. Below is a list of some of the finest, and where to find more places near you.

TOP TIP: Leave leaflets for some of these day and weekend spas lying around as the weeks go on, and make subtle hints about feeling very achy and knotted. If he doesn’t book you a little surprise within two weeks, take yourself off with a girlfriend and have a ball.

Nurturing Massage at Elemis Spa:If you like a little inner peace and ancient philosophy with your pampering treat, then head straight here. Using a beanbag for the massage, camellia oil to prevent stretch marks, and specific care for stressed skin, this is sheer luxury in heavenly surroundings.

Pregnancy Massage at Space NK:Each trimester of pregnancy is specially catered for in this aromatherapy treat.

Mother-to-be Package at Apotheke’s Jurlique Day Spa and Sanctuary:How does a float in Dead Sea salts, a body massage, a holistic pedicure and an organic facial sound?

Pitter-Patter Preparation at The Parlour:Using the miracle-working Dermalogica products, this treatment, in fabulously opulent, boudoir-esque surroundings, will tailor to your specific needs brilliantly, and includes full body massage.

Many hotels and day spas offer specific treatments for pregnancy, and babycentre.co.uk lists quite a few.

Fake Tan

Again, there isn’t any evidence to say that this is dangerous in any way, but you might not turn out exactly the colour you had in mind because of your hormone situation. I had no trouble with it at all, and was glad to see a little colour in my now tired and slightly anaemic face and over my increasingly unenviable body. If you can get a professional splash of colour worked into your pampering treat, then so much the better.

Reflexology