Liz Fraser - The Yummy Mummy’s Survival Guide

If your bun is already rising in the oven, and you are merrily cruising down the road to Yummy Mummyhood, then some of what you read may sound a tad gloomy and depressing, and you’ll be kicking yourself every paragraph or so. (As maternal luck would have it, one of the manoeuvres pregnant women can still do is kick themselves. Where’s the justice?) Please try not to get too cross, and take heart from the fact that much of this preparation is never done by millions of perfectly gorgeous and healthy mothers every year.

For everyone else, like me, here are some things which, if you do them for about six months before you become pregnant, should reward you with an easier and healthier pregnancy, and will make life after the birth a lot less, errr, wobbly.

1. Get Fit

As the perfectly formed people at Nike tell us, JUST DO IT. Even bold, capitals, italics and a forceful-looking font don’t convey the importance of this Top Tip. Obviously, if you’ve never seen a pair of trainers before, then now is not a good time to start marathon running. But, being the self-respecting woman that you are, you probably look after your body well, and are reasonably fit already. This is excellent news, and a great position to start from.

Pregnancy plays the most havoc with your stomach, so if you can get your abs strong and toned before your pregnancy, you’ll carry the baby better and you will get back into shape much more easily. I do speak from experience here: I was least fit before my first baby, and have become fitter and stronger in between each of the others. (Something to do with a growing fear that I’ve been lucky so far, and everything is about to fall apart and flab out all over the place!) My body coped and recovered much better the stronger my tummy muscles were before I started expanding, and it made getting back into some decent clothes much easier. Pain, gain, blah, blah.

Babies get very heavy towards the end, and having strong legshelps with the whole ‘lugging yourself up flights of stairs’ problem. The same goes for your back: strong back muscles will make carrying the baby much easier and less painful.

Something else to start toning up is your pelvic floor muscles. Pelvic what? Ha! Now we’re really getting somewhere. Another of those ‘never heard of them before I was pregnant; will think of them for the rest of my life afterwards’ things, your pelvic floor muscles are the ones which allow you to stop weeing halfway through weeing, if you see what I mean. In a nutshell, they are completely trashed when you give birth, and unless you sit at your desk squeezing them in and holding for a count of three while your computer re-boots, you will never get on a trampoline again without incontinence pants. And Agent Provocateur don’t make those, in case you’re wondering…Strengthen your pelvic floors now, and you’ll be able to jog, jump and sneeze while your best undies stay Martini-dry.

2. Clean Yourself Out

If you’ve ever tried to detox then you’ll know what a joyous, exciting time you’re in for, but, equally, you will know how beneficial it can be. Your baby is going to grow inside you, and if you’re clogged up with toxins then your baby will probably clog up pretty soon too, because anything which is in your blood will get into your growing baby’s blood too. It takes a while to flush all the poisons out of your system, so starting the clean-up well before you become pregnant is a good idea.

Stop smoking.Yummy Mummies don’t smoke.

Cut down on coffee.Coffee may taste great and be served in rather nice cafés absolutely everywhere, but it’s still a strong stimulant, and there has been talk that it doesn’t do growing babies much good. This may be why many women feel sick at the very smell of coffee in the early weeks. Clever old biology. The same goes for tea, if you can bear to give that up as well, but as with all things, use your head: the odd cup is almost certainly fine, especially if it cheers you up.

Drink less alcohol.(Unless you drink tons, in which case, drink a lot less.) Pickled babies are not cool or Yummy at all.

Drugs.Don’t really need to say it, do I? You’re intelligent—you work it out.

Don’t panic if you haven’t done any of this, and you are several months down the line already: you are almost certainly in the majority, but starting now is better than not bothering at all.

3. Become a Health Freak

Your growing baby is entirely selfish, and will have no concern for your wellbeing at all. It will drain all the goodness out of your body, leaving you with the dregs, the cheeky young thing. Because pregnancy puts such a huge strain on your body, the healthier you are before you start, the better you will feel, the better your chances of having a healthy, strong baby, and the more quickly you’ll recover afterwards. And it’s after the baby is born that you need more reserves and stamina than ever…So, eat tons of fresh fruit and veg, up the iron intake (it makes you less tired), drink lots of water, get plenty of fresh air and all that other healthy stuff you know about already. You won’t regret it.

4. Take Folic Acid

‘Top Scientists’ have found very good evidence that taking 400mg of this stuff for the first three months of pregnancy can significantly reduce the risk of your baby developing spina bifida. They now recommend that you get your levels up before you’re pregnant, and that you take it throughout your pregnancy. Not a lot to ask really.

5. Take a Special Multivitamin

Only take a multivitamin which is specifically designed for pregnancy. Certain vitamins are potentially harmful to the foetus if levels get too high, and the pregnancy multivits have just the right amount of everything. Bless those Top Scientists.

Some Good News

One of the best things about getting pregnant for the first time is that it shocks you into being more healthy almost overnight, and once you’ve learned some new habits, and have managed to give up the three vodka and tonics and a kebab on the way home from work, you might just hang on to them for the rest of your life. It may feel like a brutal change of diet and lifestyle to start with, but there are great benefits. There’s a good reason why pregnant ladies are said to ‘glow’ halfway through the pregnancy— anyone who pays as much careful attention to eating well and avoiding all toxins would glow after a couple of months! See your clean-up act as the best beauty routine ever, and it might not feel so hard. In fact, for many of you it won’t be hard at all, as your new body just doesn’t feel like ingesting tons of toxins every day. Anyway, you’ll be back on the double tall lattes before your baby can say ‘Mummy, are you sure you wouldn’t rather have an organic peppermint tea?’

Common Concerns of Future Yummy Mummies

This section is for you if you have ever worried about what it might be like to become a MOTHER(in other words, if you’re just like every woman I’ve ever met). Oh, how we ladies love to worry! The list of concerns and questions all future Yummy Mummies carry around in their heads is breathtaking, and it makes one fret for the future of the human race: will anything make all you potentially fantastic mothers take the plunge and actually procreate ? Will any reassuring words overcome your dread of turning into a fat, boring Frumpy Mummy, who fails miserably at every aspect of baby care, and who never sees the inside of a fancy restaurant again?