C. Lewis - Surprised by Joy

THE SHAPE OF MY EARLY LIFE

‘Surprised by Joy – impatient as the wind.’

WORDSWORTH

William Collins

An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.WilliamCollinsBooks.com

First published in Great Britain by Geoffrey Bles 1955

Copyright © C. S. Lewis Pte Ltd 1955

Cover design and illustration by Kimberly Glyder

The right of C. S. Lewis to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780007461271

Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2010 ISBN: 9780007332311

Version: 2015-12-05

To Dom Bede Griffiths, O.S.B.

Contents

Cover

Title Page C. S. LEWIS SURPRISED BY JOY THE SHAPE OF MY EARLY LIFE ‘Surprised by Joy – impatient as the wind.’ WORDSWORTH

Copyright Copyright Copyright Dedication PREFACE 1 THE FIRST YEARS 2 CONCENTRATION CAMP 3 MOUNTBRACKEN AND CAMPBELL 4 I BROADEN MY MIND 5 RENAISSANCE 6 BLOODERY 7 LIGHT AND SHADE 8 RELEASE 9 THE GREAT KNOCK 10 FORTUNE’S SMILE 11 CHECK 12 GUNS AND GOOD COMPANY 13 THE NEW LOOK 14 CHECKMATE 15 THE BEGINNING About the Author Also in This Series: About the Publisher William Collins An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.WilliamCollinsBooks.com First published in Great Britain by Geoffrey Bles 1955 Copyright © C. S. Lewis Pte Ltd 1955 Cover design and illustration by Kimberly Glyder The right of C. S. Lewis to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins. Source ISBN: 9780007461271 Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2010 ISBN: 9780007332311 Version: 2015-12-05

Dedication Dedication Dedication PREFACE 1 THE FIRST YEARS 2 CONCENTRATION CAMP 3 MOUNTBRACKEN AND CAMPBELL 4 I BROADEN MY MIND 5 RENAISSANCE 6 BLOODERY 7 LIGHT AND SHADE 8 RELEASE 9 THE GREAT KNOCK 10 FORTUNE’S SMILE 11 CHECK 12 GUNS AND GOOD COMPANY 13 THE NEW LOOK 14 CHECKMATE 15 THE BEGINNING About the Author Also in This Series: About the Publisher To Dom Bede Griffiths, O.S.B.

PREFACE PREFACE This book is written partly in answer to requests that I would tell how I passed from Atheism to Christianity and partly to correct one or two false notions that seem to have got about. How far the story matters to anyone but myself depends on the degree to which others have experienced what I call ‘joy’. If it is at all common, a more detailed treatment of it than has (I believe) been attempted before may be of some use. I have been emboldened to write of it because I notice that a man seldom mentions what he had supposed to be his most idiosyncratic sensations without receiving from at least one (often more) of those present the reply, ‘What! Have you felt that too? I always thought I was the only one.’ The book aims at telling the story of my conversion and is not a general autobiography, still less ‘Confessions’ like those of St Augustine or Rousseau. This means in practice that it gets less like a general autobiography as it goes on. In the earlier chapters the net has to be spread pretty wide in order that, when the explicitly spiritual crisis arrives, the reader may understand what sort of person my childhood and adolescence had made me. When the ‘build-up’ is complete, I confine myself strictly to business and omit everything (however important by ordinary biographical standards) which seems, at that stage, irrelevant. I do not think there is much loss; I never read an autobiography in which the parts devoted to the earlier years were not far the most interesting. The story is, I fear, suffocatingly subjective; the kind of thing I have never written before and shall probably never write again. I have tried so to write the first chapter that those who can’t bear such a story will see at once what they are in for and close the book with the least waste of time. C. S. LEWIS

1 THE FIRST YEARS

2 CONCENTRATION CAMP

3 MOUNTBRACKEN AND CAMPBELL

4 I BROADEN MY MIND

5 RENAISSANCE

6 BLOODERY

7 LIGHT AND SHADE

8 RELEASE

9 THE GREAT KNOCK

10 FORTUNE’S SMILE

11 CHECK

12 GUNS AND GOOD COMPANY

13 THE NEW LOOK

14 CHECKMATE

15 THE BEGINNING

About the Author

Also in This Series:

About the Publisher

This book is written partly in answer to requests that I would tell how I passed from Atheism to Christianity and partly to correct one or two false notions that seem to have got about. How far the story matters to anyone but myself depends on the degree to which others have experienced what I call ‘joy’. If it is at all common, a more detailed treatment of it than has (I believe) been attempted before may be of some use. I have been emboldened to write of it because I notice that a man seldom mentions what he had supposed to be his most idiosyncratic sensations without receiving from at least one (often more) of those present the reply, ‘What! Have you felt that too? I always thought I was the only one.’

The book aims at telling the story of my conversion and is not a general autobiography, still less ‘Confessions’ like those of St Augustine or Rousseau. This means in practice that it gets less like a general autobiography as it goes on. In the earlier chapters the net has to be spread pretty wide in order that, when the explicitly spiritual crisis arrives, the reader may understand what sort of person my childhood and adolescence had made me. When the ‘build-up’ is complete, I confine myself strictly to business and omit everything (however important by ordinary biographical standards) which seems, at that stage, irrelevant. I do not think there is much loss; I never read an autobiography in which the parts devoted to the earlier years were not far the most interesting.