Julia Deering - The Playful Parent - 7 ways to happier, calmer, more creative days with your under-fives

Out and about:

Waiting in a queue Interaction at the counter in a shop, at the bank or post office Having a (brief) business meeting A doctor’s appointment A dentist appointment

So, here are lots of examples of 10-second set-ups for those instances when you need your child to be calmly, happily and busily playing independently. This way to play is a quick-fix solution that will take 10 seconds or less to explain to your child. Some 10-second setups do need to be prepped in advance, but this extra work will pay dividends when you’re feeling the pressure and can’t think of anything to tempt your little one to play on their own.

Each suggestion given here will help to promote independent play, encouraging toddlers and preschoolers not only to wait, but to learn that waiting can be fun. This is in no way a finite list, of course – I’m sure you’ll discover different set-ups that work a treat for your little one as you start to introduce them into your daily play.

Personal care

In the bathroom

When my two were very small, I remember taking their baby-bouncer chair into the bathroom while I took a shower. If I timed it right, the whole experience was wonderfully sensorial and they would happily sit and bounce and look around, just enjoying the warmth, sights and sounds of my shower-time.

However, such simple distractions will not be enough to capture your child’s attention as they become toddlers and preschoolers. If your child finds it difficult to wait while you have a shower, i.e. they are unable to choose something – and stay with something – to do that doesn’t need you, try one or two of these 10-second set-ups to help them get into their flow:

Shaving foam art:Here’s one that is especially good for dads. One blob of shaving foam put onto a lid of an ice-cream tub or similar goes a long way and will provide a wonderful, sensory substance for your little one to enjoy while you shave. If they need more help with how to play with it, challenge them to make as many different patterns on the lid as they can, using their fingers to move the foam around.

Aquamat doodle-time:If they need encouragement to play with the Aquamat, challenge them to cover the whole thing with patterns and pictures for you to see when you step out of the shower.

Bathroom busy bags:This needs some prep in advance. Fill a couple of small tote bags, make-up bags or inexpensive pencil cases with different things. Produce them only when you need to and change their contents every now and again. The surprise of a new bag is usually a big hit. In these bags you could put:

Foam bath-time letters or shapes. A wet sponge in a small bowl will provide enough moisture to make the letters cling to any tiled or porcelain bathroom surface.

Hair styling stuff. Bag up a few big clips, a soft brush, some soft hair scrunchies and a safety-mirror tile.

Empty bottles and big lids to match up and twist on. Check the lids are not so small that they pose a choking hazard.

Plastic stickle bricks/Duplo or Octons. If your child needs a little help to find their flow with these, challenge them to make something tall or funny or beautiful by the time you’re out of the shower.

Small figurines’ bath time. Make up a simple kit with, say, a small plastic bowl plus soap plus a small sponge and a flannel, for a mini let’s-pretend bath time. If you put a little water in the bowl, place a towel underneath to prevent slips.

Sponge construction shapes. Cut up some colourful new sponges into shapes and bricks for some brilliant, and quiet, bathroom-themed building.

Waterproof craft foam cut into sections of road (you can also buy these pre-made) and a selection of small toy vehicles for some road building, and zooming and racing car action.

A selection of waterproof bath books.

Lots of mini-pom-poms or the foam ‘peanuts’ you get as box packaging and a small, empty, dry water bottle. Challenge your little one to fill the bottle with pom-poms by the time you have finished in the shower. You can use the pom-poms or packing peanuts again and again, of course.

A message-in-a-bottle kit – you need a small, empty, dry water bottle, strips of paper and a pencil. Challenge your little one to ‘write’ you messages on the strips of paper and post them in the water bottle. See how many different messages they can make before you step out of the shower or finish brushing your teeth.

Let’s pretend wash bag – What you’ll need to do beforehand: Make up a special wash bag for them to investigate. It’s great if it has lots of pockets. It should look like a grown-up’s version, but with kid-friendly contents; a hand mirror, brush, comb, small wash cloth, mini water sprayer, some empty cream bottles, a nail buffer and emery board, cotton wool pads, a shower cap, a hair roller, a hair scrunchie, and the like.

Drying your hair

Offer your child a harmonica or other noisy musical toy to play on while you use the hair dryer. Let them know they can play as loudly as they like, in the same room as you, only while you are drying your hair. The noise – sorry – music, will get totally drowned out by your hair dryer and is the best way to really appreciate it, I think.

Getting dressed

Getting ready for the day when you have babies and very young children can often be a rather snatch-and-grab affair. But if you have your little one with you in the room you could try to take the time pressure off yourself by letting them discover a game while they wait for you to get dressed. Try one or two of these 10-second set-ups, if they aren’t able to find something to do themselves, to help them find their flow through calm play:

Dressing teddy:Offer some play silks or scarves plus a teddy they can dress up while you are doing your thing.

Dressing skills bags:These are good opportunities for young children to practise their own dressing skills without feeling under pressure to get ready quickly because of time constraints. What you’ll need to do beforehand: cut out hand-sized shapes in thin card or craft foam and punch holes round the edge. Fill a bag with these lacing cards plus a few shoelaces or yarn – sticky-tape the end to prevent fraying. Fill another with short and long strips of Velcro or zips, and another with big buttons to post into a plastic tub with a slit cut to size in the lid.