Julia Deering - The Playful Parent - 7 ways to happier, calmer, more creative days with your under-fives

The third pile will inevitably, and annoyingly, always be the smallest pile, but at least you’ll have had fun finding out, and got a handy reminder about some of your children’s clothes that may have got lost in the mix.

Gardening

Whether you have a huge garden or just a windowbox and front porch, the general maintenance and upkeep of your outside space can be a way to play for young children. Of course, for many, gardening is an activity that is not a chore, but rather is a hobby – a passion even – and green-fingered parents happily and naturally want to pass on to their children their love of gardening.

The benefits of gardening with little ones are numerous and well documented; learning through outside play, growing things, looking after plants, finding mini-beasts and getting muddy, allowing children to connect with nature and develop an understanding about the world around them. There are numerous concerns for safety when gardening, though, so children should always be supervised when outdoors, and hands should always be washed after any gardening activity. We will discover more ways to play in the garden later in this book, but starting with the basics, here are a few ways in which you can begin to include young children in some very gentle, general gardening jobs:

Get them to collect up litter or debris like fallen branches and twigs. This can be made fun by putting a time limit on it – challenge yourselves to see how fast you can clear the garden together. The best twigs and sticks can be kept for playing with at a later date, and this promise could be used as a motivational carrot, to find for example, the best stick to become their new wand. We’ve painted sticks and twigs with poster paint before; they look marvellous. If you gather enough you could also make a tepee for toys. Just tie the tops of the twigs with twine and splay out the other ends.

Sweep or rake up stray leaves on lawns, walkways and paths. You can buy miniature versions of good-quality garden brooms and rakes for your little one to try to help; this will need careful supervision, though, as rakes can be a bit pointy and pokey if not used correctly. Or you could sweep up the leaves yourself, making it playful by piling them up into artful shapes or maze-like pathways for your little ones to enjoy. Hand over to your children the most beautiful of the leaves as if they’re treasure – they’ll soon be collecting their own. These can be played with there and then, or saved to use in an art activity later. Or set them a challenge to find the biggest/smallest/brightest/pointiest leaf.

Clear moss from stone or brick walkways which could become slippery. How satisfying for little ones to be allowed to prise away the green stuff. Let them use a small trowel or teaspoon for this. Save the moss for making a miniature garden later.

Children love helping with watering. This job is best done in the early morning or late evening, when you will lose the least amount of water to evaporation. There are some great lightweight mini watering cans available for little gardeners. This is a good time to teach children about where water comes from, and how we use it. Make your own rain collectors by using large, empty water or soft-drink bottles. Simply cut off their tops (where the neck of the bottle begins) and rest the offcuts on top, upturned, to prevent large bits of unwanted debris (or animals) getting stuck inside.

Weeding is a job that requires supervision; although many weeds can be easily pulled up, roots and all, by small children, you need to make sure they check with you before pulling anything up, in case it’s a plant! Rather than composting the weeds, many smallish weeds make fabulous shrubs and trees for miniature gardens. If the roots are intact as you pull them up, pass the best-looking weeds to your little one to plant up in a flowerpot, planter or small wooden container.

Give the children a mucky job that won’t cause damage to your plants! Discovering mini-beasts and worms is all part of the gardening experience, and collecting such creatures for investigation will keep them busy while you work. You need a suitable container (with air-holes) as a temporary base for the mini-beasts, some damp soil and a few stones. Add magnifying glasses and torches for the budding biologist. If your children find snails, slugs or caterpillars (or their eggs) on the underside of the leaves, make sure they tell you, so you can decide how to deal with them. My daughter adores snails and insists on making little habitats for them, but none of us are that keen on slugs (a huge pest in our garden), so I always get a call to come and remove the wee beastie if she discovers one. Above all, lead by example: show the children how to hold the creepy crawlies without hurting them, and that you respect them by always putting the little creatures back when you have finished with them.

Pruning and trimming is a job for the grown up, but depending on their length and number, the offcuts are great for play. Smallish, tender offcuts can be handed over for some imaginative garden ‘cooking’ – to be ripped up and stirred into old pots and pans along with grass cuttings, mud and water. Larger and more numerous branches and trimmings can make outside dens, or as the scenery of a small world setting for vehicles, animals or fairies.

Planting may well be a seasonal or infrequent job, depending on the size and type of your outside space, as well as your interest in gardening. You may have no flowerbeds whatsoever, so any planting will be constricted to containers. If you have a large mature garden with well-established plants, shrubs and trees you may wish to allocate a small flowerbed for easy-to-grow plants to be cultivated by yourself and your little one.

Quick and easy plants to grow with the kids

Here are some of the easiest plants to grow and look after:

Sweet peas: You don’t need a big garden to grow these beautifully scented flowers, they are ideal for a large pot or a windowbox.

Sunflowers: One of the best plants to get children started on. They are easy to grow and the seeds are cheap to buy. Children of all ages love them, and because they are quick-growing they keep them interested over several months.

Lamb’s ears: Children love stroking this plant’s soft velvety leaves, and the spikes of purplish-pink small flowers are attractive to bees, so ideal for a bug watch.

Snapdragons: These flowers are pretty and easy to grow. If you gently pinch their blooms they look like roaring dragons.

Marigolds: The blooms are vibrant yellows and oranges, and the plants are pretty forgiving if you forget to water them. The kids can plant them in pots or, if they are prone to forgetting to water them, they will find their own way in a sunny flowerbed.