Julia Deering - The Playful Parent - 7 ways to happier, calmer, more creative days with your under-fives

Give your child a choice as to what they’d like to tidy away; for example, cars or books.

‘Gimme five.’ This game works well for preschoolers as they only have to put away five things – but they all have to be different things, so not five Lego bricks, for example.

‘Colour code.’ This is a fun and challenging game for preschoolers who are confident with their colours. Everyone chooses a colour and only puts things away that have that colour somewhere on it. The challenge for slightly older children is that at the end of the game they must guess what colour code the others chose.

Race against each other, the clock, or the length of a song. Most children cannot resist a challenge like this – just decide the race conditions and they’ll be off in a tidying frenzy. Remember that small items scattered all over the floor, such as toy cars and Duplo blocks, can be swept into one place with a broom or dustpan brush before being put away. This can make a job much less daunting, and cut down on the back-and-forth-with-one-item scenario.

Keep spirits high with a favourite song. We’ve enjoyed a hearty rendition of ‘Whistle While You Work’ many a tidy-up time.

Tidy up in the manner of various animals or book characters. Say ‘freeze’ every minute or so and choose a new style of tidying. Ask your children for suggestions – you’ll be amazed at what they’ll come up with and how well they’ll embody the spirit of the craziest things. We’ve tidied up like cupcakes before now. Yes . . . cupcakes.

You’ve probably seen the basketball-hoop bin that is loved by teenagers the world over. Who can resist the challenge of a slam-dunk, even if it is only rubbish being thrown away? Young children won’t have the skills for this kind of precision challenge, of course, but preschoolers love a race against the clock – to the bin and back – to dispose of a handful of rubbish.

For children, picking up after themselves is perhaps the hardest of the tidying-up lessons to learn. It’s the one from which parents often feel their children are deliberately shirking as they approach or reach school age. It’s the moment when the trail of discarded coats, shoes, bags, tissues, jumpers on return from nursery or a day out, or the mess of a day’s worth of play suddenly smacks of our children having no respect for us, their things or their home – although it is important to remember that children are not deliberately trying to make us feel this way. Pave the way for their future independence with playful tidying techniques when they’re little; it’ll definitely help them learn to look after their things themselves as they grow up.

We can get a lot of tips from Montessori educational practice here – which promotes independence and responsibility for one’s self – by ensuring our learning and living spaces reflect this philosophy. We can easily replicate some of their practical ideas in our homes without too much fuss, or expense:

Have hooks for coats and shoe storage close to the entrance of your home – and at an accessible height. As your children master the art of de-coating, make it an automatic next step for them to try to remember to hang it up. Putting up special pegs at their height could be a reward for being so big and grown up. Offer an incentive, a playful activity, once the arriving home jobs have been done. This can be a real motivator for children of all ages; it’s a playful example of the When/Then technique: when they’ve put away their shoes, then they can play with some play dough.

As your child approaches school age, or when you feel they are ready, introduce a few more tidy-up times throughout the day; for example, just before lunch and teatime perhaps, as well as a big one at the end of the day. During these the children can tell you what they’ve finished playing with so just a few things can be put away.

‘Points make prizes.’ This is a game to kick-start, or reinvigorate, interest in picking up after yourself. Make a score chart, however you like, to record every time you or your children notice that they or someone else has picked up after themselves. When you’ve reached a certain score there should be a family treat, like watching a movie or something similar.

Putting groceries away

Grocery shopping with young children in tow is, in my book, a great achievement in itself. It seems most unfair that when we get back home there’s a whole new challenge to undertake. Where is that fairy godmother when you need her? Putting away the groceries is a time-consuming chore which, if left unchecked, can last all day and lead to the unscheduled and unofficial distribution of edible treats to one and all.

The following ideas might help to distract your little one from the ‘I spot, I want’ nightmare as you unpack and get them counting, sorting, stacking and playing alongside you as those treats and special things-for-another-time can be discreetly secreted onto high shelves and into cupboards.

Put your child in charge of the more robust fruit and vegetables – hand them over with the storage utensil of your choice and get them to put them away. Of course, they’ll be playing with them more than actually carrying out the official task, but they’ll love doing it and there’ll be lots of opportunity to find out how many apples or potatoes you bought, or which is the biggest potato or the longest leek.

Give your child a fun, manageable mission and get them to take some non-kitchen items – perhaps things for the bathroom – to the right place. If you time them there and back I bet they’ll not be able to resist trying to carry out the task as quickly as they can, again and again.

‘Pass the packets.’ This game is a fun spotting-and-sorting challenge. Choose one type of grocery item to put away at a time, i.e. packets, tins, boxes or bottles. Work together to spot them all and put them away before moving on to the next category.

Cooking

I’m not talking about baking biscuits and cupcakes here, I mean the daily task of making breakfast, lunch and dinner for the masses. Some people love to cook, they find it relaxing and creatively rewarding, but having to prepare toddler-friendly morsels – every day – whilst simultaneously being in charge of small children, can break even the most dedicated foodie. There are lots of clever things people do to avoid this repetitive chore, such as cook in bulk and freeze in portions, or have weekly menus, but here I’m hoping to break the relentless monotony by making cooking a way to play for you and your little one.

Involve your child in one or more of the cooking tasks once in a while, perhaps even making it their speciality. For example, they could wash the vegetables, break the eggs, grate the cheese, snip the ham, squish the tomatoes, slice the mushrooms or banana with a blunt knife, juice the lemon, choose the herbs by smell – that kind of thing.