Jennifer Kaufeld - Homeschooling For Dummies

This book gives you the ammunition you need to discuss homeschooling rationally. In fact, you can even hand a copy to your mom, if you like. In 30 chapters, this book talks about all the major homeschooling movements, educational needs of children at various age levels, and even includes chapters on adding zing to your school days.

When you discuss your decision with your mom, tell her what you know. Homeschoolers do get into college if they choose to go, they aren’t afraid to play outside or make friends, and today’s homeschoolers have many, many activities to choose from in addition to time at home with the books. If you have already decided on a teaching approach (such as classical curriculum, unschooling, or operating as a satellite school, which are all discussed later in this book), tell her about it. Tell her why you chose this method over all the others. In short, share your enthusiasm and hope.

She may not agree with you at first, but time will probably prove your decision to be a sound one. When we began homeschooling, I worked with a nonverbal, almost-3-year-old. That child not only learned to speak his native language fluently, but he went on to graduate from college, work as a web developer, and start his own international not-for-profit dedicated to making information on the Internet accessible to everyone regardless of disability or restriction. I’d say that for this child, homeschooling worked!

When we announced that we planned to homeschool, even our friends — not to mention our family members — thought we’d lost it. Twenty-five years ago, homeschooling was much less common than it is today. (Some of the people who are close to us still think we’re wackos, in spite of the evidence provided by two well-adjusted children. Oh well, there’s no accounting for some people’s opinions.)

It’s the first question you get from strangers who discover that you homeschool. Sometimes you even hear it from well-meaning relatives. Usually, however, anyone who actually knows your children on more than an, “Isn’t that Rainbow’s kid?” basis, also knows better than to demand information about your child’s social life. (At least, they should.)

Among veteran homeschoolers the topic is simply referred to as The Question. The dialog goes something like this: “Hey, guys. I met somebody at the mall today who asked me if I homeschool and then asked me The Question.” At this point everyone in the room responds in unison: What about socialization?

How do you address The Question? Before you can answer, you need to determine the question at hand. Is the person asking about social outlets, the time we allot to spend with friends and do fun things together, or is he actually asking about socialization? These are two entirely different questions.

Social outlets are a no-brainer. In fact, so many opportunities exist for homeschool families to spread their social wings and meet with other homeschooling (as well as nonhomeschooling) families that a whole section later in this chapter covers the options in depth. If someone asks you how your child finds social outlets, list the myriad of activities that nearly every homeschool family involves themselves with. Lessons, sports, scouting, religious organizations, and so on fill our children’s time and create excellent social opportunities.

Or do they? We think they do because we continue to sign them up for the classes and the organizations.

Do you find yourself seeking an endless roster of activities? What purpose does endless activity serve? Is it to meet an educational need or to pacify some unknown questioner who may peer over our shoulders at any minute? If not for educational purposes or to fill empty hours, why do we feel that we need to satisfy anyone but our family with our activities? (I tried scheduling my days to pacify the family dog for a while, but that didn’t work at all, so I gave it up.)

The majority of questioners ask about something much more nebulous than scouts or Sunday school. The words are the same: What about socialization? However, they don’t want to know what you do so much as where your children will stand when they mature.

Now when The Question is posed to you, and you truly understand the query, you are free to answer the question instead of providing a few fluffy comments or blindly running through your after-school itinerary. (Or telling the person to bug off, which is also an acceptable response.) The question is really How will your child fit into society if he doesn’t go to school? The answer, of course, is that your child fits into society just fine.

Your child learns from you and the other adults and almost-adults in his life. He gets a much better view of how life really works because he isn’t incarcerated with a selection of age-mates all day long. Your child sees wisdom at work as she watches you plan and complete tasks, interact with people in your community, and schedule your life to get (almost) everything done. She learns your values and morals as she listens to what you say and watches what you do. In the meantime, your child learns to

Interact with the people around him, regardless of age, sex, or social class.

Observe and join adults in conversation that includes more meaningful topics than what the latest cute junior-high boy wore to school.

Work with others as a team for longer than an hour on the playing field. Working together becomes a way of life with homeschool students and parents.

Spend concentrated time and effort becoming good at a skill, such as dance, engineering, or computers.

This is the kind of interaction that leads to healthy, independent citizens.

For years socialization always appeared as the homeschooling issue of the year, no matter which year it happened to be. Although you don’t hear it as often as you used to, people still raise this as The Homeschooling Issue. Of course, it’s only an issue among people who don’t actually teach their children at home. The veteran homeschoolers know better.

By the time a homeschool family has a couple years’ experience, its members understand that the best social place for its children is the home environment. Where else can you learn to relate to people from all different age groups, strengths, and weaknesses without resorting to insanity or institutionalization?

Families pass along values, morals, and standards as they interact together. Parents teach their young ones how to interact with society, how to tell right from wrong, and why they should avoid sticking their fingers in light sockets. (Ouch! That one hurt.) In fact, parents do a fine job through about age 5, and then someone else comes along and tells them that they need to send their children to school to learn all that matters.

Take time for a quick trip back to introductory logic. If you did a great job when they were 2, and you were magnificent when they were 4, then why is it that all of a sudden you need help at 6, 8, and 10? That doesn’t make sense. How is someone you don’t even know more qualified to teach your children about society than you are?