William Shakespeare - The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

JAQUES

Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie?

TOUCHSTONE

O, sir, we quarrel in print by the book, as you have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the second, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may avoid but the Lie Direct; and you may avoid that too with an “If”. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an “If”, as: “If you said so, then I said so;” and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your “If” is the only peacemaker;—much virtue in “If.”

JAQUES

Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he’s as good at anything, and yet a fool.

DUKE SENIOR

He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit.

[Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in woman’s clothes; and CELIA.]

[Still MUSIC.]

HYMEN

Then is there mirth in heaven,

When earthly things made even

Atone together.

Good duke, receive thy daughter;

Hymen from heaven brought her,

Yea, brought her hither,

That thou mightst join her hand with his,

Whose heart within his bosom is.

ROSALIND

[To DUKE SENIOR.] To you I give myself, for I am yours.

[To ORLANDO.] To you I give myself, for I am yours.

DUKE SENIOR

If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.

ORLANDO

If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.

PHEBE

If sight and shape be true,

Why then, my love, adieu!

ROSALIND

[To DUKE SENIOR.] I’ll have no father, if you be not he;—

[To ORLANDO.] I’ll have no husband, if you be not he;—

[To PHEBE.] Nor ne’er wed woman, if you be not she.

HYMEN

Peace, ho! I bar confusion:

‘Tis I must make conclusion

Of these most strange events:

Here’s eight that must take hands

To join in Hymen’s bands,

If truth holds true contents.

[To ORLANDO and ROSALIND.] You and you no cross shall part:

[To OLIVER and CELIA.] You and you are heart in heart;

[To PHEBE.] You to his love must accord,

Or have a woman to your lord:—

[To TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.] You and you are sure together,

As the winter to foul weather.

Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,

Feed yourselves with questioning,

That reason wonder may diminish,

How thus we met, and these things finish.

SONG

Wedding is great Juno’s crown;

O blessed bond of board and bed!

‘Tis Hymen peoples every town;

High wedlock then be honourèd;

Honour, high honour, and renown,

To Hymen, god of every town!

DUKE SENIOR

O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me!

Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.

PHEBE

[To SILVIUS.] I will not eat my word, now thou art mine;

Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.

[Enter JAQUES DE BOIS.]

JAQUES DE BOIS

Let me have audience for a word or two;

I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,

That bring these tidings to this fair assembly:—

Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day

Men of great worth resorted to this forest,

Address’d a mighty power; which were on foot,

In his own conduct, purposely to take

His brother here, and put him to the sword:

And to the skirts of this wild wood he came;

Where, meeting with an old religious man,

After some question with him, was converted

Both from his enterprise and from the world;

His crown bequeathing to his banish’d brother,

And all their lands restored to them again

That were with him exil’d. This to be true

I do engage my life.

DUKE SENIOR

Welcome, young man:

Thou offer’st fairly to thy brother’s wedding:

To one, his lands withheld; and to the other,

A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.

First, in this forest, let us do those ends

That here were well begun and well begot:

And after, every of this happy number,

That have endur’d shrewd days and nights with us,

Shall share the good of our returnèd fortune,

According to the measure of their states.

Meantime, forget this new-fall’n dignity,

And fall into our rustic revelry:—

Play, music!—and you brides and bridegrooms all,

With measure heap’d in joy, to the measures fall.

JAQUES

Sir, by your patience. If I heard you rightly,

The duke hath put on a religious life,

And thrown into neglect the pompous court?

JAQUES DE BOIS

He hath.

JAQUES

To him will I: out of these convertites

There is much matter to be heard and learn’d.—

[To DUKE SENIOR] You to your former honour I bequeath;

Your patience and your virtue well deserves it:—

[To ORLANDO] You to a love that your true faith doth merit:—

[To OLIVER] You to your land, and love, and great allies:—

[To SILVIUS] You to a long and well-deservèd bed:—

[To TOUCHSTONE] And you to wrangling; for thy loving voyage

Is but for two months victuall’d.—So to your pleasures;

I am for other than for dancing measures.

DUKE SENIOR

Stay, Jaques, stay.

JAQUES

To see no pastime I; what you would have

I’ll stay to know at your abandon’d cave.

[Exit.]

DUKE SENIOR

Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites,

As we do trust they’ll end, in true delights.

[A dance.]

EPILOGUE

ROSALIND

It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue; but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord the prologue. If it be true that good wine needs no bush, ‘tis true that a good play needs no epilogue. Yet to good wine they do use good bushes; and good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. What a case am I in, then, that am neither a good epilogue nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play! I am not furnished like a beggar; therefore to beg will not become me: my way is to conjure you; and I’ll begin with the women. I charge you, O women, for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this play as please you: and I charge you, O men, for the love you bear to women;—as I perceive by your simpering, none of you hates them,—that between you and the women the play may please. If I were a woman, I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that liked me, and breaths that I defied not; and, I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.

[Exeunt.]

THE END

Table of Contents

By William Shakespeare

PERSONS REPRESENTED.

SOLINUS, Duke of Ephesus.

AEGEON, a Merchant of Syracuse.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, Twin brothers and sons to Aegion and

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, and Aemelia, but unknown to each other.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS, Twin brothers, and attendants on

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, the two Antipholuses.

BALTHAZAR, a Merchant.

ANGELO, a Goldsmith.

A MERCHANT, friend to Antipholus of Syracuse.

PINCH, a Schoolmaster and a Conjurer.

AEMILIA, Wife to Aegeon, an Abbess at Ephesus.

ADRIANA, Wife to Antipholus of Ephesus.

LUCIANA, her Sister.

LUCE, her Servant.

A COURTEZAN

Gaoler, Officers, Attendants

SCENE: Ephesus

ACT I.

SCENE 1. A hall in the DUKE’S palace.

[Enter the DUKE, AEGEON, GAOLER, OFFICERS, and other ATTENDANTS.]