Sarah Lizabeth Barker - Planning A Wedding For Dummies

A couple’s shower should occur one to two months prior to your wedding. The host can be a person in your bridal party, parents, or a close family friend. The guest list is limitless regarding who you can invite, but the location of your shower might determine who can attend. If a relative or family friend is hosting your shower, consider a backyard BBQ. You can also rent an intimate event space or a location that offers a group activity, such as duckpin bowling; golf is also a favorite option.

A good theme will enhance your couple’s shower. Consider incorporating where you met or where you got engaged. Include your favorite food or cater in your favorite local restaurant. The important piece is that this shower reflects you and your better half. Consider coordinating your outfits for this party. After all, you’re doing this together. Have fun planning what to wear with your fiancé.

Paper invitations are appropriate for your couple’s shower and should incorporate each of you. The invitation should include the title of the event, your names, date, time, location, RSVP information, and your registry. The RSVP date should be two weeks before the event and your host should collect the responses via phone or email.

Games are a shower tradition, and at a couple’s shower they can be themed to incorporate both of you, such as having your guests fill out a premade card that includes a list of items: Who is better at cooking? Who is better with their money? Who sleeps in? Your guest will answer each question and you’ll share the correct answer. Whoever gets the most answers correct wins a prize. This game always keeps the guests laughing as they wonder which one of you hits the snooze button fifteen times and which one wakes up as soon as you hear the alarm.

A bridal shower is a party that honors the bride-to-be. To me, they are the “catchall” showers. You may have one or multiple showers based on what your life looks like. For example, if you live in city A, your parents live in city B, and your partner’s parents live in city C, it’s appropriate to have three showers, with three different hosts, to include each group of people. Whether this is your first marriage or second, a shower is a wonderful time to bring your closest friends together to celebrate your future marriage.

Having multiple showers is common practice, so it’s important to speak to each host to avoid overlapping on the timing of the events. The bridal shower is typically held one to two months before your wedding day. I would suggest that all parties and showers are wrapped up by a month out from your big day. As we go through the planning process, you’ll see that there are a lot of last-minute i’s to dot and t’s to cross. If your parties are scheduled too close to your wedding day, you may be overwhelmed with your busy party schedule and the already long list of thank-you notes to send.

The bridal shower host can be someone from your bridal party, a close friend, or a relative. The host will take care of sending the invitations, cover the costs of the party, and make sure the party is a success. Be sure to discuss with each host how many people they feel comfortable having at the event. They are covering the financial costs of the shower, so check in with them first before you start planning the guest list.

A paper invitation or digital invitation is appropriate for your shower. When your host designs the invitation, make sure to include the title, your name, date, time, location, RSVP information, and your registry. They will also collect the responses from your guests. Feel free to check in with them to see who will be attending your shower. The wedding day is so busy that your bridal showers are the perfect time to catch up with old friends — another opportunity to see those you love prior to the big day.

Bridal showers are typically packed with games for your guests to enjoy. Those games are intended to be fun and give your guests a little insight into who you and your partner are as a couple. To avoid being completely embarrassed in front of some friends who have known you your entire life, reach out to the host and see what games they’re planning so that you’re prepared.

Enjoy a little time off from planning the wedding, wear your favorite sundress, and enjoy being pampered and celebrated. Being the bride is so much fun! Take time to stop and take it all in. It will go by fast, and each party is another piece of the pie in your wedding planning. Have several pieces!

Chapter 3

IN THIS CHAPTER

Understanding what’s important to you and your budget

Determining what’s included in your budget

Navigating additional fees, tips, and gratuities

Before you start researching your vendors, you need to determine what you have to spend. Let’s face it — weddings are expensive. That doesn’t mean you can’t have everything you want; it just means you need to be intentional with what you have to spend. Before you fall in love with an expensive photographer or design elaborate flower arrangements, it’s important to determine your budget.

You’ve probably already checked the resources to determine a percentage of what each item should be in your overall budget. This is my biggest pet peeve in the wedding industry; those percentages were created to be a guide, but they are not yours. One thing that was forgotten when those standard percentages were created is you !

That’s right — you decide what your budget will be. In this chapter, we’ll determine what’s most important to you, figure out who’s paying and what you have to spend, work out what your budget should include, and look at something often overlooked in the overall budget: additional fees and tips and gratuities.

Planning your budget doesn’t need to be stressful. Together we’re going to customize your plan and maximize your money. There’s no need to go into debt over your wedding. We’ll be smart in planning where your money needs to go, where you can save and where to splurge.

I’m sure you have attended your friends’ weddings. What did you love? What did you dislike? Did you notice the fancy china? Do you remember what you ate? What color were the flowers? What did the linens look like? Did they have paper napkins or cloth napkins?

In Table 3-1, write in some of the things you loved about your friends’ weddings and some of the things you disliked. This will help you see how much you remember about other weddings you have attended. Focus on the details to help you determine your own loves and dislikes.