Sarah Lizabeth Barker - Planning A Wedding For Dummies

These are special people to you and whether you want to go all out or keep it simple, they deserve to feel special. They have obviously influenced your life in a positive way, so in this section, we’re going to talk about some ways you can honor them and ask them to be on your squad. Most importantly, you need to make sure they are available on the big day!

Special dinner. If all of your bridal party is in one location, plan a special night out where all of you — including spouses or dates — go out to dinner at a local hot spot. Thank them for being so special to you and ask them at dinner to be in your wedding. Of course, it’s unlikely that everyone lives in the city where you live, so individual dinners held as you can are fun too!

Phone a friend. There’s a good chance that your bridal party all live in different locations. If you can’t see your bridal party in person, at minimum call them rather than texting them. You need to speak to them directly and tell them how much it would mean to you if they were in your wedding. Make sure that they are comfortable with the financial obligations and commitment of supporting you during the process.

Write a letter. A handwritten letter is a special way to ask your bridal party to be in your wedding. We don’t often receive letters in the mail anymore, so this is very meaningful. A personal letter to each member of your bridal party isn’t elaborate but would mean so much to the recipients. Explain in the letter why you want them to be in your wedding. Include the date and location to make sure that when they respond to your letter, they can make it to your wedding.

Gift or gift basket. Many resources online have cute premade gifts to help pop the question. Who doesn’t love a good gift? A themed gift asking them to be on your squad is even better. If you make your own, include bridal party items such a tumbler with “Maid of Honor,” “Best Man,” “Bridesmaid,” or “Groomsman” imprinted on it. You could send a robe or cufflinks, and a mini bottle of champagne. Send a puzzle that they must put together that says, “Will you be my bridesmaid?” or “Will you be my groomsman?” The options are endless, so be creative and have fun designing the perfect gift for your crew. Whatever you choose, make sure to include a card asking them to be in your wedding.

One of my favorite parts of the wedding planning process are all the parties that are thrown in your honor leading up to the big day. They bring people together who may or may not be able to attend your wedding but want to celebrate with you.

The problem is that few people know how many parties to have. How many is too little? How many is too much? We expect that if someone is getting married for the first time, they will have lots of showers and parties, but what if this isn’t your first marriage — do you still get to celebrate? I believe all good things should be celebrated, and you should be celebrated no matter your life story.

You are probably wondering, if you do have parties, who throws them? What do you do if no one has offered to throw you a party? How many guests do you invite to your parties? What do you wear? These are all questions we’ll address in this section. Additionally, we’ll discuss gift registries, the bachelorette bash, bachelor party, couples’ shower, and bridal shower. It’s time to sit back and be pampered a bit. It will go by fast, and this is one of the moments I want you to enjoy.

Registering for gifts is a fun task to do together. First, you must determine your need. Wherever you are in life, you both bring different items into your marriage. You may have a lot of stuff while your fiancé has just the basics. It’s important to consolidate your items and determine what you need. If you register in a store, they’ll give you a scanner. Trust me, it’s so much fun scanning everything on display and listening to the beep-beep of the scanner. You may want to scan every item you see but in reality, you do not need everything in aisle 44 or maybe you do?

Before you start registering for gifts, sit down with your fiancé and come up with a list of items that you need. Do you need new pots and pans, towels, lamps, decorative items, coffee mugs, or a new coffee machine? Think about when you make a list before you go to the grocery store so you spend less money and avoid thinking that you need all those snacks. It prevents you from getting home to make dinner, realizing you really didn’t buy any actual food, and now you’re trying to create a meal out of popcorn and doughnuts. The same thing is true for your gift registries. Come up with a plan before you search online or in a store. It will help you avoid getting a cute lamp but no shade, or ten throw blankets.

This is your next team-building experience. You are designing the home in which you will start your life together. How exciting is that? You’ll learn a lot about your fiancé that you might not have known. I’m not exactly sure why picking out home items changes people. You look over at your fiancé and all of a sudden they are so excited to choose silverware. Maybe you realize they have horrible taste when it comes to interior design. Whichever way, it gives you an opportunity to learn about each other and grow closer together.

Once you have a plan in place on what you need, it’s time to go to the store or start a registry online. If you choose to go to a store, stay away from the local mom-and-pops that guests who don’t live in that area can’t resource. I love to shop local, and I encourage you to do that if there is a store that you love. Use that store for a bridal shower or couples’ shower in your area where everyone invited is local. Pick national chains where all your guests can access your registry in-store or online for your wedding.

When the gifts are picked out, include your registry links on a wedding website or with your invitation on a registry card. (Head to Chapter 7for more information on sharing your registry on your wedding website.) Some of your guests may not be tech savvy and would prefer to have a card with the information over an online link. It’s important to share this information with your guests so that you don’t end up with ten silver platters that you don’t want.

You and your fiancé may find that you have everything you need. If that’s the case, consider a cash or honeymoon fund. Those can be easily created online and again linked on your wedding website or shared with your guests on a registry card in your invitation. If you choose to go this route, please know that many guests like to purchase tangible items. Most of your guests will likely do what you ask but some will want to get you a physical gift.

Cash Fund. A cash fund is where you ask your guests to give you cash rather than a conventual wedding gift. Several online services can help you set this up. You’ll link your cash registry to your financial institution and the company you pick will send the money your guests give you straight to your bank account. They will take a percentage of the gift to cover the fees associated with the transaction. So, for example, if your guests give you $100, you may receive only $97.00. You can also apply the cash funds towards a larger item such as a new refrigerator or washer and dryer. Your guests will see how much has been contributed to that item and can add to that fund as they like.Designating items that you would like the money to go to will help those guests who don’t want to just give you cash on your wedding day. They may feel it’s too impersonal or they don’t have a lot of cash to contribute to your fund and don’t want their name on a website saying they gave you $25 when they really want to be able to give you $100. Picking out items that they can contribute to will help them feel like their gift is of value and is going towards a specific item.