Стерлинг Джонсон - Еnglish as a Second F_cking Languаge

PLAY WITH YOUR TURTLE

PLAYING POCKET POOL (а Вы говорите, что люди по две стороны океана разные)

PLEASE YOUR PISSER

PLUNK YOUR TWANGER

POLE VAULT

POLISH THE PORK SWORD

POLISH THE ROCKET

POLISH YOUR HELMET

POP A NUT

POP THE CORK

POUND THE BALD-HEADED MOOSE

PUD PULLING

PUD

PULL A PUDDING

PULL RANK

PULL YOUR OWN WEIGHT

PUMMEL THE PRIEST

PUMP CREAM

PUMP THE STUMP

PUNCH THE CLOWN

PUNISH THE POPE

R2 YOUR D2 (аллюзия со Звёздными Войнами)

RAISE THE MAINSAIL

RAM THE HAM

READ POETRY

RELIEVE TENSION

ROMANCE THE BONE

ROPE THE POPE

ROUGH UP THE SUSPECT

RUB THE MAGIC LAMP

SAND WOOD

SECRET HANDSHAKE

SHAKE HANDS WITH THE GOVERNOR

SHAKE HANDS WITH THE UNEMPLOYED

SHAKE THE SNAKE

SHIFT GEARS

SHINE YOUR HELMET

SHOOT FOR THE MOON

SHOOT PUTTY AT THE MOON

SHOOT SKEET

SHUCK THE CORN

SHUFFLE THE PALM TREE

SING WITH ROSIE

SLAM THE HAM

SLAM THE SALAMI

SLAP PAPPY

SLIDE THE SHAFT

SMACK THE SALAMI

SPANK THE FRANK

SPANK THE WANK

SPANKING THE MONKEY

SPUNK

SQUEEZE THE CHEESE (не путать с CUT THE CHEESE)

STRANGLE THE SERPENT

STRANGLE YODA (аллюзия со Звёздными Войнами)

STROKE IT

STROKE THE BLOKE

STROKE THE DOG

STROKE YOUR POKER

STRUM THE OL’ BANJO

SUMMON THE GENIE

TAKE A NAP

TAKE A SHAKE BREAK

TAKE HERMAN TO THE CIRCUS

TAKE THE MONSTER FOR A ONE-ARMED RIDE

TAME THE BEEF WEASEL

TAME THE SHREW

TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO FLY

TEASE THE PYTHON

TEASE THE WEASEL

TEST THE TESTICLES

TEST YOUR BATTERIES

THUMP THE PUMP

TICKLE THE IVORY

TICKLE THE PICKLE

TICKLE YOUR FANCY

TORQUE THE FORK

TORTURE THE TENTACLE

TOSS IT

TOSS THE SALAD

TRANSFER DATA

TUG THE SLUG

TUG YOUR TAPIOCA TUBE

TUG YOUR TUBE SNAKE

TUG YOUR TUBE STEAK

TWANG YOUR WIRE

TWEAK YOUR TWINKIE

TWIST YOUR TOOL

UNSTABLE THE STALLION

UPGRADE YOUR HARDWARE

VARNISH YOUR POLE

WALK THE DOG

WALK THE PLANK (пираты Стивенсона ходили по доске как-то по другому)

WALTZ WITH WILLY

WANKER THE ANCHOR

WANKING THE WILLIE

WASTING BABIES

WAX THE DOLPHIN

WAX YOUR WILLY

WAXING THE CARROT

WAXING THE WEEZER

WHIP THE BOLOGNA PONY

WHIP THE DRIPPER

WHIPPIN’ UP ON SKIPPY (NOT THE BUSH, BUT KANGAROO!!!)

WHITE-WATER WRISTING

WINDSURF ON MOUNT BALDY

WORK A CRAMP OUT OF YOUR MUSCLE

WRESTLE THE EEL

WRESTLE WITH YOUR EMOTIONS

WRIST AEROBICS

YANK THE PLANK

A NIGHT WITH THE GIRLS

AIR THE ORCHID

BASTE THE TUNA

BEAT THE BEAVER

BEAT THE BUSH

BEATING AROUND THE BUSH

BRUSH THE BEAVER

BUFF THE BEAVER

BURY THE KNUCKLE

BUTTER THE BEAD

BUTTER THE MUFFIN

BUTTER THE POTATO

BUZZ

CARESS THE KITTY

CHECK THE FOXHOLE

CHECK YOUR OIL

CIRCLE THE KNOLL

CLAP WITH ONE HAND

CLEAN YOUR FINGERS

CLEANING THE CARPET

CREAM THE PIE

CUNT CUDDLING

DIG FOR YOUR KEYS

DIGITAL MANIPULATION

DIGITIZE

DO YOUR NAILS

DOUSE THE DIGITS

DROWN THE MAN IN THE BOAT

DUNK THE BEAVER

DUST THE END TABLE

ERASE THE PROBLEM

EXPLORE THE DEEP SOUTH

FAN THE FUR

FAN THE FURNACE

FEED THE BEARDED CLAM

FEED THE FISH

FINGER BLAST

FINGER DANCE

FINGER FUN

FINGER PAINT

FLICK THE BEAN

FLICK THE SWITCH

FLIP THE FLAPS

FLIP THROUGH THE PAGES

FLIT YOUR CLIT

FLOSS THE CAT

FLY AUTOMATIC (используя вибратор)

FLY MANUALLY

GET A DATE WITH SLICK MITTENS

GET A FAT LIP

GET A LUBE JOB

GET A STAIN OUT OF YOUR CARPET

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF

GLEAMING THE TUBE

GO MINING

GOING TO WORK WITHOUT A STAFF

GRAB THE GOATEE

GREASE THE SKILLET

GREASE YOUR HIPS

GROPE THE GROTTO

ITCH THE DITCH

JUICE IT UP

JUMP START THE RIVER

LEGLOCK THE PILLOW

LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING

LUBE YOUR GOOB

MAKE BUMPS

MAKE BUTTER

MAKE SOUP

MAKE THE KITTY PURR

MAKE WAVES

MAN OVERBOARD

MANUAL OVERRIDE

MISTRESSBATE

NULL THE VOID

ONE-WOMAN SHOW

PADDLE THE PINK CANOE

PART THE PETALS

PERFORM FOR MR. SWAGGART (телеевангелист, который платил девицам лёгкого поведения за то, что они проделывали это перед ним)

PET SNOOPY

PET THE BUNNY

PET THE PUSSY

PITCH IN THE BUSH LEAGUE

PLAY FIDDLE

PLAY PIANO

PLAY THE CLITAR (аллюзия с ситаром или гитарой)

POKE THE PUCKER

POKE THE PUSSY

POLISH THE PEARL

POLISH THE WEDDING RING

PREHEAT THE OVEN

PUSH THE BUTTON

PUSH THE PETAL

READ BRAILLE

RIDE SLIDESADDLE

RIDE THE CURL

RIDE THE TUBESPOUT

RIDE THE UNICYCLE

RIDE THE WILD HAND

RING FOR THE MAID

RING SOUTHERN BELLS (заметьте, ещё одно обозначение PUSSY - DOWN SOUTH)

ROLL THE MINK

ROW THE LITTLE MAN IN THE BOAT

RUB THE NUBBIN

RUBBING THE NUBBIN

RUFF THE MUFF

SCRATCH THE PATCH

SCUFF THE MUFF

SEARCH FOR SPOCK

SHELL THE BEAN

SHOOT HOOPS

SHOOT THE RAPIDS

SHUCK THE OYSTER

SILK ABUSE

SKIM THE CREAM

SLICK ABUSE

SOAK IN PALMOLIVE (это действительно яркий и конкретный пример народного product placement)

SORT THE OYSTERS SPELUNK (технически, SPELUNKING - это хобби, близкое к спелеологии - изучению и исследованию пещер)

SPELUNKING WITHOUT A PARTNER

STIFFEN YOUR UPPER LIP

STINKY PINKY

STIR IT UP

STIR THE CAULDRON

STIR THE YOGURT

STROKE THE FURNACE

STROKING THE PELT

STRUM

STUFF THE TACO

SURF AT FINGER BEACH

SURF THE CHANNEL

SURF THE WET

TAKE A DIP

TAKE A FINGER RIDE

TAKE A TRIP SOUTH

TAKING HER OWN TEMPERATURE

TEST THE PLUMBING

THE VIRGIN’S RELEASE

THUMB THE BUTTON

TICKLE THE MUSTACHE

TICKLE THE TACO

TICKLE YOUR FANCY

TIPTOE THROUGH THE TWO LIPS

TOGGLE THE BIT

TOUCH TYPE

TWEAK THE TWIG

TWIT THE CLIT

VISIT FATHER FINGERS

WAKE THE BUTTERFLY

WASH YOUR FINGERS

WATER THE HOT SPOT

WORK IN THE GARDEN (антураж FUCKERWARE PARTY. Витрина в магазине, где продаются игрушки для женщин).

BONING TOOL

BUSH BLASTER

CAPTAIN’S LOG

ELEVEN INCHES OF DANGLING DEATH

JOHNSON

JOYSTICK

LOVE SAUSAGE

MR. HAPPY

ONE-EYED MONSTER

PETER AND HIS FUZZY PALS

POCKET POLE

SCHLONG

SEED SPITTER TALLYWACKER

THE BOSS

THE BRAIN

THE LITTLE GUY WITH THE HELMET

THE MAIN VEIN

TROUSER TROUT

WONDER WAND

BEARDED CLAM

CAMEL TOE

FUR BURGER

FURRY FOLDS

GATE TO HEAVEN

HOLIEST OF HOLIES

HOTHOUSE

JADE GATE

JUNGLE KOOCHIE

LITTLE MAN IN A BOAT (clitoris)

LOVE MUSSEL

LOVE NEST

PETER POCKET

PINK SNAPPER