Marisa Santi - Dancing To Happiness

The mobile phone starts ringing and, as expected, it’s Max who calls to advice me of his delay. He never succeeds in being on time!

<> I ask him snorting.

<>

The reaction is an immediate retort <>

<>

<> I say softening my resentment.

I understand that this time it’s for a good cause, but it’s seriously hard to bear that he is constantly no-show.

I leave my room, slamming the door involuntarily. I shouldn’t but I’m still very angry. It’s the third time in the last ten days that he stands me up. I’m so furious not to realize that my “gentleness” in slamming the door made Matthias leave his room. His eyes are on me and scrutinize me from head to toe. Why is he staring at me thus?

Breaking the silence I say to him: <> he continues staring at me embarrassingly, practically he is devouring me with his eyes.

I’m sure red-faced. Finally he decides to tell me something.

<>

<>

<>

And after this statement I blush even more.

<> Matthias proposes.

<> I answer enthusiastically, worried about the strange emotions I feel and about having to be alone with him.

<>

<> he replies amused to have noticed my eyes on his sweatpants, winking at me. I blush, realizing that I was devouring him with my eyes too. Good heavens! This man would be really sexy even wearing a garbage bag.

In the meantime I went down in the kitchen to drink a glass of cold water to recover and to dampen my ardour although perhaps I should swallow something alcoholic which could make me more uninhibited.

I head towards the hallway and in the meantime I notice that Matthias is walking down the stairs to join me. He wore jeans, a black cotton T-shirt with v-neck and a leather jacket. He is to die for!

He takes my hand and asks me if I’m ready to take him around. I nod and, breathing deeply, I start talking non-stop: <>

<> he exclaims, amused by my sudden gift of the gab.

We reach my car, a black Alfa Romeo Mito.

Put aside shyness and broken the ice, I start feeling at ease. So, to speed things up and to know him better, I bombard him with questions about his home town and his private life. When I put my mind I’m really pushy.

<>

<> he answers.

Despite my court shoes are very tall, I managed to walk a lot and to follow the predetermined itinerary.

Going towards Murazzi’s I point out Gran Madre Church and Mount of the Capuchins.

<>

<>

I nod. Then I point at the three statues of Gran Madre Church and I explain him what they represent.

<>

<>

<>

<>

<>

<> he says looking into my eyes.

<> I say, pretending not to understand. Because I think he was not referring to the city... I’m the usual presumptuous.

While we are in the pub and continue to drink, Matthias lists the places that he would like to visit. Then he tells me something about his family. He has two sisters and he loves them much.

<>

<> I remark with a smirk.

<>

<>

I’d like to ask him also if he is engaged but I don’t think it’s appropriate. He may think that I have “other” interests in him.

We talk still a lot continuing to swallow beer which makes me more confident and less shy. We laugh and have fine throughout the evening. Without realizing it the time flew.

<> I exclaim, watching the time. <>

<>

<> I say very sorry to have to interrupt the pleasant chat.

<> I say pausing to take courage and tell him that I had already seen him.

<> I exclaim and then I try to repair <> I blush and avoid looking at him.

He smiles at me and placing two fingers under my chin he forces me to look into his eyes: <>

<> I answer intimidated by him, his eyes and the circumstance.

<> he tells me proudly.

<> I confess becoming red-faced. Good thing that I stopped drinking beers. I dare not imagine what I could say... For example that if I wasn’t engaged I would jump on him. And now? Where do these sinful thoughts come from?

We head for the car, we get in it and I put my hands on the steering wheel, pretending to be careful to what I’m doing. I don’t want him to notice my face still flushed because of my confession of a few minutes earlier.

Matthias is lost in thought and I don’t want to open my mouth to prevent other howlers. The silence is almost comfortable.

Finally we arrived at home. We climb the stairs staying always in silence and we find ourselves before the hallway where there are our bedrooms.

Breaking the silence I whisper to him: <>

He looks at me and gets closer to give me a kiss on the cheek. <>

We come in our respective rooms and despite the strong emotions felt during the day just passed I fall asleep as soon as I lean my head on the pillow.

III

The doorbell rings: it’s Max who has kept his promise. He has come to get me to have breakfast together and to take me to the university. I quickly walk down the stairs ready to face a new day and my unreliable boyfriend.

He is wearing jeans, a white t-shirt and dark blue jacket. I feel like we’ve been apart for a lifetime. Dark-haired, attentive and bright green eyes, olive complexion, tall and slender. I had almost forgotten how charming he was. We got engaged last year but we met in junior high school He was my first boyfriend. I have always been too focused on dance to think of love, I had some infatuations but nothing more. Poor Max! He has always loved me in silence for years and during courtship he has been very patient and insistent. Maybe I have succumbed to exhaustion.

I join him and ironically say: <>

<> he replies, dampening a guilty grin.

Meanwhile Matthias was walking down the stairs to reach the living room. He’s wearing a grey tight outfit and a white shirt, classic look for a businessman. It’s impossible to describe how he looks magnificently good in that outfit. I try not to look at him too much, focusing only on Max.

I feel really embarrassed, I hope nobody notices it. But then why do I feel this way? I study psychology for some years and I’m still not able to analyse my mind. The emotions of recent days are an enigma! I see Max who looks at Matthias and then at me. Maybe he expects introductions...

<>

<> Matthias exclaims disconsolately holding his hand out to shake.

<> I say trying to deaden the tension. He looks stiffened. The knowledge and the existence of Matthias don’t seem to be as much well-accepted and it appears obvious by the way he quickly dissociates himself from Matthias.

<> he smiles at me and nods his head to say goodbye to Matthias.

While we’re heading for the bar I tell him how I spent the previous evening. I was uncertain whether to do it or not, then I decide that it would be better to tell him it otherwise he would think that I had something to hide if he becomes aware about it by other means. And honestly I have not done anything wrong!

<> he reproaches me.

<> I exclaim without challenging too much his absurd suspicions and his sudden bad mood.