Marisa Santi - Dancing To Happiness

<> my mother says, noticing my discomfort.

<> I say almost stammering. Luckily I can pretend that it’s shortness of breath due to the physical activity from which I have been interrupted.

<> Matthias says to dampen the formality of introductions but without taking his eyes from mine.

<> I answer with an ironic and perhaps slightly hateful tone: as far as he makes me happy about the fact that, unconsciously, with that sentence he helped me overcame the initial frost or paralysis in which I had fallen. I don’t want him to realize how much he affects me.

Mentally I thank my parents who invite him to visit the rest of the house and soon I take advantage of this to take the reins of my self control back and to metabolise what happened. I turn off the stereo, wipe the sweat from my forehead and head for the hall to reach the stairs and go to take a shower. I don’t know if I’d like to freshen up for the sweat in the gym or if I need a cold shower to recover from the hot flush that has possessed me when I have had the vision of that beautiful man.

Also Matthias is in the hall to retrieve his luggages.

<> I ask him putting shyness aside.

<> he answers smiling at me

I almost melt again looking at his face. I smile too and climb the stairs taking the steps two by two to avoid further contacts with his eyes. What the hell is happening to me? I feel like an idiot. Not even in adolescence a thing like that has ever happened to me.

I meet my mother near my bedroom and ask her: <>

<>

While we are speaking he comes to us and my mother helps him to settle down in his room.

<>

<> I take what I was asked and while they’re still in the room I hear my mother who’s talking with Matthias.

<>

I can’t believe my ears! She’s allowing him to use my bathroom, invading in this manner my privacy and my cosiness. Good heavens! Only the thought of having to share something with him gives me anxiety. I begin to hate my mother at this moment, I can’t even hold back a grimace of displeasure towards her. Luckily it was noticed only by her. Then, arming myself with a shy smile I address Matthias: <>

I come in my room and lie down on the bed a few minutes, breathing deeply to succeed in focusing myself on the many news of this day.

A freshen up was really what I needed. I relaxed and now I’m ready to deal with the evening with the awareness of having to meet the depth and the blue of Matthias’ eyes again. I go into the living room to join the others who luckily are already there introducing themselves to the newcomer.

I look at my friends’ face and I realise that Greek God Matthias not only makes a strange effect on me. His beauty is bewitching. The only difference is that they can communicate with him without stumbling over their words and without being ridiculous as I did!

<>

I nod and thank him. My heart beats wildly because he continues staring at me... It’s really embarrassing. I can’t help blushing.

The phone ring brings me back to reality.

<> my father yells from the hallway.

<> I answer nonchalantly.

<> Max reproaches me.

<>

<>

<> I lie.

<>

While I talk on the phone, I notice the presence of Matthias who doesn’t hesitate to listen and I see his eyes suddenly become sad. I look away from him and concentrate on the conversation. <>

Lately Max and I don’t spend much time together. Once we saw every night and we spoke on the phone at least a dozen times a day. Little by little we realized that maybe it would be better to meet less. The wait has its charm.

I hang up the phone and come back in the living room: <>

<> Rebecca exclaims.

<> Alex says.

<> Matthias answers enthusiastically.

<> I ask him with a shy glance.

He nods without saying a words, continuing to stare at me. I have to overcame this feeling of embarrassment. Now I make him many questions. Maybe, becoming acquainted with him, this fear of meeting his eyes will end. Strength and courage!

I reset everything and with calmness ask him: <>

<> he answers looking at me as if before him there was another person.

In fact I’ve sent away the awkward teenager who had taken possession of my mind. I don’t know how I’m succeeding in it but I’m coming back to me. It’s about time!

<>

<> he says without concealing a sly smile.

<>

“And maybe when you will stop getting embarrassed when you look at him.” My subconscious intervenes.

Between a chat and the other the time flew. My mother invites us to take a seat at the table. Somehow she saved me again.

At dinner Matthias is much involved and not at all in trouble. This thing makes me hope in a unexpectedly natural way for his rapid integration into the group and makes me wish, again, to win quite so rapidly the embarrassment that his presence causes me. I get lost when I observe him. He has something mysterious. When he is absent-minded the light in his eyes changes. What is he worried about? Handsome and mysterious... I have to stop looking at him like that. Sooner or later someone will notice it and that’s not good. I give a glance at the clock on the wall and I realize that it’s really late. It’s already 8 p.m and Max will be here in an hour. I say goodbye to everybody and get up to go in my bedroom. When I’m next to the staircase, I realized that Matthias has followed me.

<> I challenge him ironically while we climb the stairs together.

<> he exclaims smiling at me.

<>

<>

<> I say smiling at him.

Matthias is in his bedroom and throw himself on the bed thinking amused about Isabel’s exuberance and awkwardness. He is bewildered too by the many emotions of the day’s events. He feels attracted to that girl. He thinks back on the moment he saw her whirl. He would have stayed hours watching her while she danced. Since he met her piercing hazel eyes he could no longer look away from her. He is aware of her embarrassment. He feels attracted not only to her appearance but also to her vulnerability that she wants to hide by irony and self-confidence. He found her irresistible when she joined them in the living room wearing that cream dress that left her long toned legs uncovered. Isabel: a particularly beautiful face, framed by long brown hair with russet shades, big amber brown eyes, well designed full lips that contrast with the spontaneous and innocent expression. She has a toned body, a round and well-shaped bottom, generous breasts, narrow waist and curves in all the right places... Evidently, the sport has helped her to ensure that her body was modelled in the right places. Certainly she does not go unnoticed, everything about her is perfection and sensuality... Overwhelmed by Isabel’s thought he forgets for a while his problems and the real reason that has led him to move to Turin for some time.

At the very thought that there’s only a wall to separate me from Matthias, it gives me goosebumps. Stop thinking of him! I have to recover and get a move on. I decide to wear a black dress that highlights my curves without being vulgar, black court shoes, a trace of make-up on my eyes and a bit of lip gloss, a few drops of J’adore, a last brush to my hair that I will let loose and, finally, I’m ready.