Roosh h Valizadeh - Bang, or more lays in 60 days

Most phone numbers will go nowhere. You’re doing incredible if half the numbers you get result in a first date. That says that even when your game gets really good, you will still get rejected and have prospects that don’t convert. So step back and look at the big picture: one prospect will mean very little in the grand scheme of things. The worst thing you can do is get excited over a number or a make-out because it sets you up for frustration if the number is fake or she doesn’t call back. But there is a difference between being a pessimist and a realist. A pessimist would think that no girl likes him, that no girl will ever call him back and this whole game thing is a waste of time because nothing good will happen. Pessimistic thoughts lead to inaction. On the other hand, a realist understands that while most prospects will go nowhere, to reach those successes that make the game worthwhile you need to endure and keep at it. A realist thinks, "I will try my best with this girl and have a good time, but I will not care or get upset if it goes nowhere because that’s just how the game is. I’ll get it next time."

Before you call a girl, you first need to know where you are going to take her. Date venues can be separated into two categories: chill and loud. Chill venues are generally quieter and allow for a conversation-heavy date while loud venues have noise or busy action that reduces conversation. I do first dates on weekdays at chill venues because I want to strengthen the foundation with conversation and see if a girl is worthy for a primetime slot on the weekend, where my time is more valuable and costs are higher. My chill venue spots consist of a café and bar that is within walking distance of each other. Instead of a café, an independent coffee shop is also fine, but Starbucks is too mainstream to be acceptable. At the café I usually get dessert like pastry, cake, or s’mores, spend about 45-60 minutes talking, and then venue change to the "real" date location, which is a nearby bar that is quiet, low-traffic, and has few distractions. Since we know that venue changes are powerful in making it seem like you’ve known each other for longer than you have, we are going to incorporate that technique into our first dates. Taking her to a café and then a bar really feels like going on two dates in the time of one. If there are only bars near you and no cafés, meet up with her at a mediocre bar as the first venue and then transition to a better one for the second. If you live in an isolated area and don’t have many venue options, you won’t be able to do the first date venue change. While two first date venues are optimal, it is not required. Don’t do restaurant dates with a girl you haven’t banged. No ex-ceptions. Dinner dates are awkward, cliché, and expensive. You don’t need or want them in your dating life. Let the betas feed her instead. I have never understood the draw of sitting across from a girl for hours in a crowded dining area with a physical separator limiting my touching options. Don’t do coffee dates. Unless you have something planned afterwards, there will be no making out in the coffee house. In the history of dating, there has never been a first kiss in the coffee shop. Coffee is a safe date for girls because they know it’s a place that makes it almost impossible for guys to escalate their game. They do coffee dates for practice and attention because it’s so easy for them, but for you it’s a waste of time. Don’t do movie dates, the number one worst date idea in the world. If you are going to sit next to a girl with a physical divider between you while staring at a screen in silence, you might as well take her to dinner where you can at least talk. Always decline a girl’s suggestions to dinner, coffee, or a movie. Feel free to let her know you dislike those venues because they make it hard for two people to get to know each other naturally. Once you have picked a centrally located café within walking distance to the second venue, you have all the information you need to call her.

Middle game starts with the phone, a modern invention that is supposed to make it easier for two people to communicate. But it does the opposite for us because women have taken its very simple purpose and turned it into a complicated beast they use to screen men and get attention. With the popularity of text messaging, simple and direct phone communication becomes even harder. It took me a while to master the phone because, like most other guys, I’m the type of person who prefers face-to-face communication. I don’t like holding this plastic device to my ear without being able to see facial expressions. But poor results with email make the phone something we cannot avoid. Just like with approaching, practice is going to be important: it’s not a bad idea to get numbers of girls who you are not completely interested in just to get them on the phone. Because you will be less nervous on the phone with experience, practicing on these girls will help give you enough confidence and skill to be competent on the phone with someone you do like. If you have zero phone game experience and the first number you get is a girl who you want to impregnate, I guarantee you will bomb spectacularly. It would be like someone doing heart surgery without ever having seen a heart before. Success in either case can be attributed to luck instead of skill. The first issue in phone game is when to call back. I’ve tried everything: calling the same night, next day, two days, three days, four days, five days, and so on up to two weeks. Accounting as best as I can for variables such as interest level, sooner tends to be better. The sweet spot that is soon but isn’t interpreted as needy is calling back within 2-4 days. If she showed interest in you and was receptive to your game or you made out with her, call in two days. If you got lukewarm interest, call in two days. If she seemed cold and displayed no interest at all, but still gave her number, how about… two days. Or do all these calls in three days. Or four. Whatever, just pick two, three or four, stick with it for a while, and then try one of the other lengths of time. You are going to end up picking a number that you feel most comfortable with instead one that you can prove is better than another. (As of this writing I’m a big fan of two days.) You start to get into issues when you go above four days because then you risk disturbing momentum and energy levels. If you take so long to call that she concludes you won’t call her, she will be less excited when you do call because she already "moved on."

One exception to the 2-4 day rule is you want to avoid calling her for the first time on a Friday or Saturday. Girls want to put on the appearance that they are popular or busy, so there is a lower chance she will answer or call you back in a reasonable amount of time if you call her on these two days. Therefore, if you meet a girl on Wednesday, call her on Sunday. If you meet a girl on Tuesday, call on Thursday. Monday meets can be called by Thursday. The last logistical issue is what time to call her. The best time to call a girl for the first time is between 8-9PM. I find this to be a time when girls are winding down their day and doing nothing important enough that would prevent them from returning your call in a timely manner.

Your main goal with the first phone call is to set a date. It’s not to build attraction or increase rapport or make her think you are an amazing guy―it is simply to get her to agree to a meet. That means your phone conversation will be short, about 3-10 minutes in length. If you find yourself nervous when you are about to call, chill out because odds are she will not answer the phone. Girls very rarely answer phone calls from numbers they don’t know, especially as they get into their twenties. And because she is going to have a cell phone service where you can follow prompts to redo the voicemail you leave, there is no reason to be nervous when you first call. Even if she has your number in her phone, she still won’t answer the first time you call. I firmly believe in leaving a message if she doesn’t pick up the phone. This lets her know that you aren’t playing phone games and see no reason why she wouldn’t call back. It also forces her to put in a bare minimum amount of effort in keeping the interaction going. The best voice message shows you aren’t so insecure about not getting a call back that you try to overcompensate by reciting a joke or story. Keep it simple. Here is the message I leave for all situations, which I say with an upbeat tone at a relaxed pace.