Jon Athan - Am I Beautiful?

The door swung open.

To Adam’s surprise, the visitor was gone.

“It wasn’t her?” he whispered questioningly.

Sobbing, Amber took Riley to the SUV in the driveway, rain pouring down on them. She sat in the driver’s seat, locked the doors, and blindly threw the diaper bag into the back seat.

“It–It–It’s o–okay,” she stammered as she rocked Riley in her arms.

Riley couldn’t stop crying, her cheeks as red as blood. Amber gasped as Adam lurched towards the SUV, slipping and sliding on the wet lawn.

“Amber, please!” he cried.

Amber reversed out of the driveway without looking back. The tires screeched and puddles splashed as she stomped on the brakes. The SUV stopped a foot away from a luxury sedan parked across the street. There were no other drivers on the road. She put the car in drive and turned left. She sped off just as Adam reached the street.

Adam jogged after her, following the dashed yellow line between the lanes, but he stopped after five meters. He watched as Amber took a right at an intersection down the street. The SUV vanished from his sight. He buried his hands in his wet hair and stared at the intersection, awe written in his eyes. He thought: What have I done?

“Shh, baby, s–shh,” Amber said, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on Riley’s back. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. Please, baby, don’t cry. Don’t cry, sweetie.”

She kissed Riley’s forehead, but it didn’t help. The girl kept wailing and wailing— and wailing . Toddlers could smell danger, and Riley had caught a big whiff of it. Amber’s eyes widened as she spotted the STOP sign at the upcoming intersection. She stepped on the brake pedal. She was going too fast to stop safely. She tightened her grip on Riley, put her hand behind her neck, and slammed the brakes.

The SUV came to a sudden halt, the front tires on the faded stop line.

Amber checked on Riley—she was fine—then she glanced around. She realized there were no other drivers, pedestrians, or cops out there. She was only a danger to herself and her daughter.

She said, “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. Let’s… Let’s find somewhere to park. We’ll get you in your seat and then we’ll go see grandma, okay?”

Amber took a right and drove until she found an empty parking space on the side of the road near the beach. She placed Riley on the passenger seat and kissed her forehead, then she turned on the dome light. From the periphery of her vision, she saw a shadow rise in the back seat through the rearview mirror. She froze as the terrifying realization set in.

Someone had been hiding in her vehicle, crouching behind her seat during her short drive.

Amber said, “Please don’t hurt my—”

A loud crackling sound interrupted her. Before she knew it, a stun gun touched the side of her neck. Foamy saliva spurted from between her clenched teeth. Her limbs locked up. She crashed into the steering wheel, then she fell over the center console. An unearthly moan escaped her mouth. She regained control of her body five seconds later.

She looked at the back seat and saw Miki sitting next to Riley’s rear-facing safety seat. Despite the mask covering her face, she could tell the intruder was smiling.

Riley sucked her index and middle fingers while mewling as she watched her mother. She couldn’t see Miki from her position.

Amber mumbled incoherently as she turned to face the steering wheel. In a daze, she could only think about speeding off.

As Amber grabbed the key in the ignition, Miki prodded the nape of her neck with the stun gun. Amber lost control of her body for eight seconds—seconds that felt like minutes. A string of drool hung from her mouth. Her fingers were curled towards her palms, as if she were stopped halfway into clenching her fists.

Miki grabbed two fistfuls of Amber’s red hair from behind, then she swung her head at the driver’s side window. She slammed her head against it five times— thump, thump, thump, thump, thump! She was unconscious after the third blow to the temple. Amber’s head slumped forward and her fingers uncurled as Miki released her hair.

Miki looked at Riley, and Riley looked back at her. The toddler had stopped crying, but the expression of fear and dismay remained on her face. She knew something was wrong, but she didn’t know how to react.

Miki said, “Mommy should have locked her doors.”

“Goddammit, Amber, answer your phone,” Adam muttered as he listened to the ringback tone. The call went to voicemail. He said, “Amber, for crying out loud, I’ve called you five times already. I really hope you’re not going to your mom’s place right now. You can get into an accident out there. Please, if you get this, call me back or come home. I’m begging you.”

He ended the call and threw his phone at his desk. He walked around his office, scratching the back of his head and rubbing the small of his back. Anxiety wouldn’t let him stand still.

He went through several scenarios in his head. ‘ If she goes there, if she goes here… If I do this, if I do that… ’ He thought about barricading himself in the house, but it wouldn’t look good for him if the police showed up. He considered going out into the streets of Los Angeles and finding the elusive ‘Carved Face’ serial killer himself.

But what can I do if I find her? Or him? —he thought.

He wasn’t equipped to capture or murder a sadistic serial killer. He had committed acts of violence, but he sincerely regretted his past actions.

He stopped pacing upon catching a glimpse of a picture frame on his desk. He bent over and inspected the photograph. It was a picture of himself, Amber, and Riley at Pacific Park on a sunny day. Amber and Riley brought a smile to his face and tears to his eyes. He didn’t recognize himself, though. Guilt, like stress, accelerated the aging process and poisoned the human mind.

“Oh shit,” he said. “I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong.”

He decided to race to his mother-in-law’s home in hopes of finding Amber. He grabbed his cell phone and hurried out of his office. He didn’t even think about changing from his reeking bathrobe.

Adam stopped next to the kitchen bar. The front door was wide open. Then he heard a whimper from the darkest corner of the living room. He saw Miki standing there with Riley in her arms. Despite her mask, he recognized his secret lover straight away. His undivided attention, however, was captured by his daughter as she shook and whined. Although Riley was alive, Adam went through the stages of grief.

He started by shaking his head in denial, then he scowled at Miki and thrust his index finger at her—so angry that he couldn’t speak. He closed his eyes, sending tears to the floorboards between his grubby feet, and clasped his hands in front of his chest. He spewed a garble of nonsense, but he was obviously bargaining. The bargaining came with a spell of depression.

And, finally, Adam accepted reality. Miki was inside his home, cradling his daughter, and Amber was nowhere to be found. He took a step towards them, but then he noticed the pocketknife in Miki’s hand. She held the blade up to Riley’s back. It was a short blade, but it was enough to kill a toddler.

Adam said, “Don’t hurt her.”

Miki didn’t say a word. Behind her mask, she smiled, frowned, snarled, then smiled again. She was on her own roller coaster of emotions. She felt a sense of nostalgia, as if she had run into an old friend at a supermarket. Then sadness swept through her as she remembered the assault in her apartment. Anger followed, then amusement.