Jon Athan - Am I Beautiful?

This book contains scenes of intense violence and some disturbing themes. Some parts of this book may be considered violent, cruel, disturbing, or unusual. This book is not intended for those easily offended or appalled. Please enjoy at your own discretion.

Adam Miller watched her from across the busy bar, eyes burning with desire. He didn’t hear or see anyone else. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on. She stood five-one—five-three in her casual high-heeled boots—with a slim but curvy figure. Her silky black hair reached down to her shoulders. She wore a black dress, her legs swathed in matching stockings.

Her brown eyes, although deep and dark, glowed in the room’s dim lighting. Her face was round and smooth, lips vibrant and plump, nose small and wide.

She sat on a stool at the bar, sipping on a Strawberry Sangria. She was alone but approachable, smiling tenderly at the other patrons. She wasn’t like the other young women in the bar, cell phones practically grafted to their hands and their eyes glued to their social media apps while shrill, screeching laughter escaped their mouths.

“You’re very, very lucky.” A man’s voice snapped Adam out of his trance.

He wrenched his gaze away from the young woman and found himself sitting at a booth. His business partner, Dallas Reynolds, sat beside him and two Japanese men in suits sat across from them. They visited the British pub for a nomikai —an after-work drinking party to mark a company’s accomplishments, welcome new team members, and build relationships with new and existing partners and clients.

The group celebrated a successful business meeting between their travel agencies. They had agreed to a partnership.

Adam looked at Suzuki Hayato, the older Japanese man, and then at Watanabe Yuki, the young salaryman. He couldn’t tell which one had spoken to him.

Buzzed from the alcohol, Hayato pointed at the bar and said, “I see these young girls watching you. Do you know why?”

“I didn’t notice,” Dallas said with a smirk. He definitely felt the leering eyes on him. He took a swig of his beer, then he asked, “Why do you think they’re staring, Mr. Suzuki?”

“I told you, call me Hayato,” the Japanese man responded before taking a sip of his alcohol. He sucked his teeth and grimaced, then he let out a satisfied sigh. He said, “To answer your question, it is because you are… gaikokujin . That means… person from a foreign country.”

“Foreigner,” Yuki said.

“ Yes . Yes… Foreigners. And in this country, this beautiful country… Japanese people love foreigners,” Hayato said, chuckling. He spoke slowly so as not to slur his words. He said, “You are… kakkoii . That means… I think you say it is ‘cool.’ Cool style, cool music, cool movies. Western culture is ‘cool’ to us Japanese people.”

Dallas said, “Well, thank you very much. A lot of Westerners love Japanese culture, too, you know? Glad to see the feelings are mutual.”

“But, but, but,” Hayato mumbled, staring down at his drink.

The alcohol was getting to him, but he decided to take another swig. He held his glass up to Yuki. There was a hint of reluctance in Yuki’s smile, but he couldn’t reject his boss. He had to drink until his boss was ready to quit. It was an unspoken rule of the nomikai culture.

Hayato continued, “But some people love foreigners. They love you people so much that they want to date you because you are foreigners. They want to marry you. They want to live with you. They want to have your babies. Hāfu babies, uhh… ahh… mixed? Yes, mixed babies, okay? We call those people ‘ gaijin hunters.’ Gaikokujin is gaijin , and gaijin is gaikokujin .”

“They both mean ‘foreigners’ in Japanese,” Yuki clarified.

Hayato said, “So, you are berry, berry …” He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head upon catching his mistake—‘ Not berry, very. ’ He paused to lick his lips, then he said, “You are very, very lucky. I think… maybe… you can have any woman here.”

Dallas chuckled, then he said, “I think you’re being a little too kind. I mean, look at us. We’re in our thirties. Pretty much our late thirties. I don’t think any of these girls are really interested in us. Not like that at least. Maybe they want to talk, but I don’t know about living together or having mixed babies.”

“But it is true.”

“What do you think, Adam?”

Adam listened to their conversation while watching the woman at the bar. He rubbed his clean-shaved jaw and pursed his lips.

He said, “I don’t know, really.”

“ It is true, ” Hayato repeated with a note of frustration in his voice.

Dallas said, “Okay, okay. Well, what do you think, Yuki? Are ‘gaijin hunters’ real? Could my friend here get laid tonight?”

“Don’t say that,” Adam responded. “You know I have my girl at home.”

“I didn’t say ‘ Will you get laid tonight,’ I said ‘ Could you get laid tonight.’ We’re speaking hypothetically here. So, what do you think, Yuki? What are Adam-kun’s chances here?”

In the Japanese language, -kun was an honorific suffix used to refer to male colleagues. Dallas used it playfully to connect with his new business partners. Yuki glanced around the bar. They were surrounded by expatriates, tourists, and salarymen. There were some Japanese women at the bar. Most of them chatted with the foreigners, although a few enjoyed drinks alone or with other Japanese men.

Yuki nodded and said, “I think most of the girls here would be happy if one of you spoke to them.”

“Oh, really?” Dallas said, a grin stretching across his face. He threw his arm around Adam and said, “You heard our friends here, Adam. Why don’t you test their theory?”

“Shut up, man,” Adam responded.

“Hey, I’m serious.”

“I’m serious, too. Be quiet.”

“Try it,” Hayato said with a casual shrug. “As you Americans say: What could, uh… paa… possibly go wrong?”

Adam could argue with Dallas—they were close friends after all—but he couldn’t afford to offend Hayato or Yuki. They visited Japan for business.

He said, “I’m sorry, sir, but I have a wife at home. You’ll have to excuse me.”

Dallas said, “Come on, buddy, you can’t leave now. Listen, no one’s telling you to cheat. We just want to see if it’s true. Are these girls gaijin hunters? And if they are, would they be interested in guys like us?”

“If you’re so curious, why don’t you test it out yourself?”

“Because we’ve all seen you checking out that girl at the bar.”

Adam’s heart sank while Dallas laughed inwardly and Hayato cackled out loud. He felt like he had heard his wife’s voice come out of Dallas’ mouth. Excuses swirled around in his head.

‘ Isn’t she an actress? I thought I recognized her from somewhere. ’

‘ I was just daydreaming. ’

‘ She looked at me first! ’

Adam opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t say a word. So, he blushed, laughed, and shook his head. The other men laughed at him.

“Look, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m curious, too,” Adam said.

“I knew it,” Dallas responded.

“ But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m married. Really, guys, I’m… I’m married . Not dating, not flirting with anyone, married . We’re trying to have a baby for crying out loud. You know this, Dallas.”