Jon Athan - Am I Beautiful?

Dallas asked, “What’s up with you, man?” Adam glared at the lounge’s entrance. Dallas shoved him gently and said, “ Adam , are you listening to me? What are you doing? Huh? What’s going on in your damn head? You realize this meeting’s a big deal for us, right? And this deal is everything. We came here to get this done and you’re ruining it for us.”

“She’s in there,” Adam said, eyes stuck to the entrance.

“What? Who?”

Adam didn’t respond.

Dallas grabbed his shirt at the chest, shook him, and asked, “What are you talking about?”

Adam looked at him and said, “The girl. She looked at me and I looked at her. Then she looked away and acted like she didn’t recognize me. But she saw me and I saw her .”

“You’re going to have to be a lot more specific than that. What girl? What’s going on with you, man? You don’t sound right.”

“The girl, Dallas. Miki .”

Laughing in disbelief, Dallas asked, “Who the hell is Miki?”

Adam didn’t want anyone to know about his affair. But he knew Dallas was smart. He had vanished during a night out after talking to a woman at a bar. It was easy to link the pieces. Dallas just respected him enough to pretend like it never happened. He certainly didn’t want to involve himself in any drama between Adam and his wife.

Adam said, “The woman I met at that bar in Kabukichō last week. Her name is Miki Someya. We went to a hotel together. We—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Dallas interrupted, words darting out of his mouth. “You don’t have to tell me those details. Seriously, you don’t owe me an explanation for that. I mean, I told you I was going to look out for you and I got sidetracked, so it’s kinda my fault, too. Your secret is safe with me. Okay? Shit, if I knew it was about that, I wouldn’t have brought you out here like this. I dragged you out of there like a child, man.”

“Dallas, my problem isn’t a guilty conscience. Well, sure, I feel bad for what I did, but something else is wrong. That woman, Miki, she’s following me. She’s in the lounge right now.”

“ O –kay. So, it’s a coincidence. They happen all the time. Big deal. She probably doesn’t even remember you. Hell, she’s probably here, uh… What did they call it? ‘ Gaijin hunting? ’ She’s probably here looking for more foreigners to fuck, right?”

Adam jabbed his finger at Dallas’ chest and said, “This is the second time I’ve ran into her since that night. She showed up at one of my meetings. She didn’t interrupt it or anything like that, but… Jesus Christ, Dallas, she chased me through the city. I had to literally run through the subway station and slip into a train before she could catch me. It was like a scene from a movie for crying out loud. Listen, the first time is a meeting. Second time’s a coincidence. Third time’s a… a…”

“A pattern,” Dallas said, his face grave.

“Exactly.”

Adam paced in front of the window. Dallas raised his hand up to his mouth and stared at the floor. There was a moment of silence between them, as if they had just heard the news of a friend’s death.

Dallas said, “She’s a clinger.”

“What do I do about her?”

“You have to be very stern with her. You have to make her hate you, Adam. Try embarrassing her in front of a large group of people.”

“I don’t think that’ll work. She threw a tantrum at the subway station when they wouldn’t let her board the train. That should have embarrassed her already.”

“At a subway station? Come on, man, commuters see weird crap every day. She probably shrugged it off. Figured they’d forget about her in the morning, you know? No, you need to embarrass her somewhere public but… stagnant. You know what I’m saying? Somewhere where people will be paying attention, somewhere people will be irritated by a disturbance, somewhere people will remember someone like her.”

Adam’s gaze wandered to the lounge’s entrance. Dallas glanced at the entrance, then back at Adam. He stood in front of Adam to block his view.

He gripped Adam’s shoulders and said, “ Not here . We’re on business. You deal with this some other time, okay?”

“What if she comes to me? What if she tries something here?”

“Then I’ll deal with her personally. All you have to do right now is think about our business. Got it?”

Adam nodded reluctantly.

Dallas said, “Hey, promise me you won’t cause a scene in there.”

Adam nodded again.

“Promise me,” Dallas repeated.

Adam responded, “I promise. Let’s just finish this meeting and get out of here.”

“Attaboy. Let’s get this done.”

Dallas spoke with confidence, recounting stories of past business ventures, providing exact industry figures, and forecasting incredible growth should they decide to collaborate. Some of it was bullshit, but it was convincing bullshit. Adam focused on the men, although he didn’t say much. He occasionally offered a word to support Dallas—‘ Yeah ’ or ‘ exactly ’ or ‘ absolutely ’—and he smiled and laughed along with him.

Takeuchi and Yamamoto were pleased with the meeting. They weren’t going to sign any contracts on the spot, but they were willing to listen to Dallas. They had already scheduled a second meeting.

Adam’s neck stiffened and a tingly sensation spread across his spine. He started grinding his teeth and holding his breath unintentionally. The pins and needles tingled over to his arms and legs, as if his limbs had fallen asleep. He was spooked, but he didn’t know why. He was convinced someone was watching him, observing his every move—his every twitch.

He couldn’t overpower his urge to glance at the bar. He took a swig of his drink, then he looked over to his left.

A short gasp escaped his mouth.

Miki—wearing a tight black dress and high heels, face caked in makeup—watched him from a stool at the bar. Eyes like magnets, they made eye contact the second Adam turned to look her way. People walked between them, but nothing could interrupt their gaze. It lasted fifteen seconds that felt like fifteen years.

Adam saw sorrow and desperation in Miki’s eyes, but he didn’t feel any pity for her. His fear turned into fury. His grip tightened around his glass—a little more pressure and it would have cracked.

“What are you planning?” he whispered through his clenched teeth, barely audible.

Miki looked away. She took a sip of her drink through a straw. She acted like she didn’t know him. Adam’s mind ran amok, his thoughts corrupted by anger and anxiety. She’s going to strike first, his inner voice said. She’s going to humiliate you. That same voice, stony and disquieting, started overlapping in his head.

She’s going to expose you .

She’s recording you .

She’s going to hurt you if you don’t hurt her first .

A cold sweat dewed on his forehead. His hands trembled and his eyelids twitched. He couldn’t wait until after the meeting to rip off the Band-Aid. He chugged the rest of his drink as he stood from his seat.

“Hey, hey, ” Dallas hissed as he reached for Adam’s shirt. “What are you doing, man? Sit down.”

Adam strode towards the bar. The Japanese businessmen watched him, eyes narrowed with curiosity.

As he stood up, Dallas smiled nervously and said, “Gomenasai, gomenasai.”

‘ Gomensai ’ translated to ‘ I’m sorry. ’