Лиза Макманн - Fade

She makes it home.

Wipes her face with her sleeve.

Walks determinedly into the house. Goes directly to her bedroom, tossing her coat and backpack on the couch without stopping.

Until she gets to her closet.

Janie pulls out the box and sits on her bed. Dumps it all out in a pile and picks up the green notebook. Recklessly opens it up. Reads the dedication again.

A Journey Into the Light by Martha Stubin

This journal is dedicated to dream catchers. It’s written expressly for those who follow in my footsteps once I am gone.

The information I have to share is made up of two things: delight and dread. If you do not want to know what waits for you, please close this journal now. Don’t turn the page.

But if you have the stomach for it and the desire to fight against the worst of it, you may be better off knowing. Then again, it may haunt you for the rest of your life. Please consider this in all seriousness.

What you are about to read contains much more dread than delight.

I’m sorry to say I can’t make the decision for you. Nor can anyone else. You must do it alone. Please don’t put the responsibility on others’ shoulders. It will ruin them.

Whatever you decide, you are in for a long, hard ride. I bid you no regrets. Think about it. Have confidence in your decision, whatever you choose.

Good luck, friend.

Martha Stubin, Dream Catcher

Janie ignores the rush of fear and turns the page. And then turns the blank page. And she reads.

You’ve read the first page by now, at least once. I imagine you spent some time on it, perhaps days, deciding if you wanted to continue. And now here you are.

In case your heart is thumping, I’ll tell you that I’m starting with

“Delight.” So you can change your mind if you wish to go no farther.

There will be a blank page in this notebook before you reach the information I’ve titled “Dread.” So you’ll know and not turn the pages with fear.

I am sorry to have to place this fear in your heart. But I do so for my own reasons. Perhaps you’ll understand when you are through reading.

But for now, there is still time to go back and close this notebook. If you choose to go on, please turn the page.

3:57 p.m.

Janie turns the page.

Delight

You have experienced a bit of this already, I imagine. If not, it will come.

With time comes both success and failure. Some of your best successes as a dream catcher will not be realized for many years.

By now you’ve discovered that you have more power than you once knew. You have the ability to help someone change a dream to make it better. Less frightening, perhaps. Or even a complete change, such as turning a monster into a cartoon. What you need to know before you assist in altering someone’s dream is that not all dreams can be altered.

Your power is strong, but there are a few dreams stronger than you.

Please don’t expect you can change the course of the world. That said, I, Martha Stubin, have been in the dreams of many successful individuals. They arrived at success only after their dreams changed.

Can I take credit for these things? Of course not. But I was a factor in the future of many a businessperson. While I will not reveal names, as the individuals are still alive at the time I write this, I might ask you to think about the computer industry, and that will give you a clue.

You have the ability to influence the unconscious mind, my dear dream catcher.

Marriages have been saved.

Relationships rekindled.

Sports events won.

Lives lived in confidence rather than fear.

Because our power is motivating, and gives momentum and ownership of changes to those who dream of failure.

This is a most redeeming job when things go right.

And you can change a community.

You are a rarely gifted individual.

You can use your power to help create or restore peace in a troubled community—whether it’s a school, a church, a place of business, or a government entity. You have more power to solve crime than anyone with a badge.

Do not forget this.

As you hone your skill—your gift—you will be able to assist the law in ways the keepers of them cannot imagine. And in ways that are impossible, in their minds. You have tremendous power to do good.

Use it if you dare.

You will never be without a job. Think big. The country’s many law enforcement agencies will get wind of your existence. Travel the country—maybe even the world. Seek out others with various gifts, who work underground, like you.

Let me take it a step deeper. Into your own heart.

With practice, you will master your own dreams.

Some of you might not dream.

That will come with time.

You can dream to work out the problems you face, and you will dream to find the refreshing love you long for in an isolated world.

And the loved ones you lose along the path of life will live forever, if you use your power. You’ll never say good-bye for long. Just until you sleep again. You can bring them back to you.

This has been the most redemptive factor for me. It’s what has kept me alive beyond my years. I will die happy, even after a life of distress.

Do not overlook the positives of this factor, once you view the rest.

And now, when you turn the page, you will find the next one blank.

Following it are the things I wish I didn’t have to tell you. Use your judgment right now to decide if you wish to go on.

4:19 p.m.

Janie buries her head in her hands, and goes on.

Dread

My eyes water as I write this section.

There are things about yourself you may not want to hear or know.

Will they help you?

The answer is yes.

Will they hurt you?

Absolutely, yes.

Rights and Obligations

First of all, let us revisit how you change people’s dreams.

Because you have the power does not always mean you have the right or the obligation.

And because you have the power of manipulation, some of you will use that to hurt people.

I can’t stop you from doing that.

I can only implore you to resist the temptation to hurt others in this fashion.

It’s been done.

And it’s been ugly.

People die.

Here are some facts you should know:

• THERE IS NO “CURE,” SHOULD YOU SEE THIS AS A

DISEASE. UNTIL THE REASON FOR THE DREAM

CATCHER’S GIFT IS DISCOVERED, THERE WILL BE NO

CURE.

• I’VE SPENT FIFTY YEARS TRYING TO CHANGE IT. AND

ALL I CAN DO IS CONTROL IT—SOMETIMES.

Driving

You might already be aware of the hazards of driving. Perhaps you’ve had a rare incident. And you’re still alive. But because of the stray possibilities—even with the windows closed, I must add—you are a time bomb.

It’s happened before.

You’ve seen it in the papers, haven’t you?

Somebody blacks out on the highway. Crosses the line. Kills a family of three in the oncoming lane.

Dream catchers. Catching, by accident, the dreams of the sleeper in the car next door. Right through the glass windows of both cars. It happens.

It has happened.

And I’ve never forgiven myself.

Don’t drive.

You risk not only your life, but the lives of innocent others.

You can ignore me.

I’m asking you not to.

If you wish to continue, please turn the page.

4:53 p.m.

Janie—shaking, crying, remembering the school children—continues.

Side Effects

This is the hardest section. If you make it through this, you are done.

And maybe you won’t think it’s as bad as I made it out to be. I hope for that.

There are several side effects of being a dream catcher. You’ve experienced the caloric drain by now. It gets worse as you age.