Carola Dibbell - The Only Ones

But she looked so proud!

They are not doing intervention, medical assistance, nothing, because it is a K of C L Haven, that is how the K of C L do things. Come on, the K of any L are out of their goddamn minds. She wants me to come for the birth, even though I don’t know anything about how that works, the regular birth. She says don’t tell them we are, you know. Just say I stole her. The K of C L steal babies all the time. This guy Ferron, who is going to be the father? The K of L had stole him, to start.

So I am figuring out how to get to Canada with my old hacked Pass that Henry fixed for me so long ago, but when I hear from her again she on Kissena BoulevardThon will get back to me, they have some problem with the Haven and she and Ferron have to flee.

So I am worried the K of C L are going to chase her on horses, if they could find a horse, and I am checking every day for messages, three times a day, and there is another problem at the City Line — they sealed the hole again! I am trying to scramble over the wall! I’m roaming all over for a better Board but I have to use Little Neck. It crashes all the time and even on a good day there is no vid there. By the time I reach her, she’s back in New York State. She is in some other Haven.

They call it Canastota.

Her plans for India are delayed. But when the kid is old enough to travel, she and Ferron will take it to India, show it to Rini Jaffur, if Rini’s still alive.

They have a really good Board at the Canastota Haven, and she says, Ma, try to get a good screen so you could see how big I look. She was so proud. She is still not doing intervention, even though this Haven would permit.

I go, Ani, it is so dangerous.

She goes, “Ma! It’s always dangerous. Come on. How I was born it was intervene this, intervene that. I just want to see what happens if we don’t. I just want to try the regular way for once.”

And she was right. It always is dangerous.

“Ma, are you angry?”

Now, I want to tell you here, they are going to say, the way it turned out, these poor nuclear Transfer kids, what they call clones, should never of been born because they will just die young. Well I will tell you this. I don’t think so. I don’t think that’s what it proves. It just proves the regular way isn’t safe either. It never was.

That doesn’t mean no one should do it the regular way, just because it is not totally safe.

Sometimes you really have to take a chance.

And sometimes it doesn’t work. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

If you think you should be totally safe, no one would be born at all.

So I go, “No! No! I’m proud.” I mean, to tell the truth, I would prefer she do intervention. Maybe I should of told her, do intervention. Maybe she would of listened. But who knows? She probably would not of done what I said. And that is one more difference between us, I did what I was told. It was how I stayed alive. She did not have that in common with me. I just go, “I’m proud of you, Anithing for so l

I DON’T KNOW YOUR NAME OR ADDRESS. I DON’T know your age or who your Parent is.

I don’t even know if I should send this. You could have a better life if I don’t.

Maybe you will be ashamed or scared. Maybe you will just be like, whatever, who cares?

I just think it’s going to come out one way or another. Something could show up in our codes. Maybe even yours. Maybe you already wondered. People got such stupid ideas about what we are. I just think you should hear it from me.

So now you did.

Remember Ani said, if it’s just another way to be born, why am I the only one I heard of? Now you heard. You’re not the only one. Neither was she.

Let me just say a few more things that you should know.

The hardy thing is real. Avian, Luzon, all of them plus so many other things I been exposed to that I did not name but on the whole it is like Rauden said. If they penetrate my system it is their misfortune. And it did look like that would be true for Ani. And probably you too. I just want you to know in case you are in a situation where it could help, and not just when an Epi comes through, but if you are in a bad place like I heard some viables end up? Work Camp, sex slave? Run into epicenters. Climb over bodies. Hide in quarantines. Who’s going to chase you there?

I’m so sorry if that’s where you ended up, but let me say this too. That did not happen because of what you are. It could happen to anyone. Being regular is no guarantee how things will work. There are always unknowns in the Life Industry. Even the old regular way, when people got their kid from male/female unprotected sex? I don’t honestly think anyone ever totally knew what’s going to happen. There were always many factors, even luck.

I also want to say, in my own life many bad things was done to me, and that is how I know that when it happens sometimes you think something is wrong with you. Whoever did those things to you? It’s them it’s wrong with. It’s not your fault.

Even if you are in a good situation, you might think something’s wrong with you. Maybe someone conversation in Yonkersisis school in the end will tell you something is wrong with you, because of what you are. That is so ignorant. Nothing is wrong with you. If someone says that to you, just say right back well I am still alive. How wrong is that?

I also want to say if you are mad, it is ok.

I know it is not up to me, if it’s ok or not. I’m just saying how I feel so you will know. I don’t even know if you care how I feel. I’m just saying, in case you do. How I feel is, how you feel about any of this is ok. It is up to you.

The one who looked familiar is Lucie Benedikt, who came all the way from Berlin. Nineteen years old. Still alive.

The one who did not look familiar is Ferron. I didn’t recognize him with the beard. I never totally trusted Ferron but you got to understand. How he grew up, with vigilante cretins, there was a lot of prejudice about people like Ani and me. He really did love Ani, though. I’m the one he had the problem with. But I think he got over it.

When Ferron found Lucie Benedikt he was looking for me with a pure code search he was running with Ani’s code that he had saved from her blood when she died. But this kind of search is very hard to control. He ended up in Lucie Benedikt’s code instead. They made contact. He told her what he knew about Ani and me, and, well, she had this in common with Ani — she just told her mother however they say it in their language, Ma, it’s my life not yours. And off she went to find me. She made her way to America by different boats, a very hard trip, maybe harder than Ani’s, but Lucie Benedikt hung very tough. Ferron met her at Boston Harbor and from things Ani had said when she was still alive, they figured out how to find me.

She is on my case to send this out. She says I could do it with a pure code post which she will help me run.

She also wants me to put in a Comment Box so you could post in. It will be safe. We won’t know who you are. You could post a Comment or question you might have. And I will try to answer though it was not easy for me to say what I already said. The Canastota part I could hardly bear to say at all.

Here is something you will want to know. Lucie has been in touch with her mother, Hille Benedikt, who was very glad to hear she’s still alive. It turns out Hille Benedikt is very smart with research and looked into what was happening out by JFK in Queens when the Big One started. It is on the record that a bus escaped from a quarantine with babies on it whose Parents died. Now how the Big One used to hit people, you would just die very sudden and that is what the driver did, just keeled over and the bus crashed. The bodies were found later. The driver, seven kids, and one empty basket. The bus crashed on Kissena Boulevard.