Carola Dibbell - The Only Ones

They go, we really understand, and by the way, we are ready to offer better than Partial for the right Diversity.

So I’m like, great.

So I’m going up to Wappingers Falls and use their spit code Readers. Maybe I can put a jam on my ID.

Country Day says, oh, and do not worry about anomalies. Our system is so SOTA, we will be sure to check for anomalies, even in the telomeres. That should clear things up.

Ok. Like, oh! Great! Clear things up. How special is that!

They say, ok! the only one that works, why is it okriWe will look forward to reviewing your codes! We just want to make sure you’re who you think you are. For your own sake.

I’m sitting there, still dizzy, in the Board shelter of Wappingers Falls, and then it hits me, this isn’t going to work. Any jam I put on, they are so SOTA, they can knock it off. If they was just coming up with Grozny or Bucharest, I guess I could say well I bought her product from some broker who also made overseas sales, from multiples. But if my own ID is involved, they’re going to get suspicious. And this telomere business, how can that be good?

So that’s it for Country Day. They welcome unique kids but are they honestly giving Aid to a crime against nature? What will the other Parents think? With fees high as these Parents must pay, they are probably going to expect Ethics too.

I’m just sitting there in Wappingers Falls drinking my Beverage, looking at all the sleazy operations, wondering what I am going to do goddamn now, and then it hits me. I will get the Change.

I’m almost out of eggs anyhow, so as far as losing hardy egg sales, not an issue. Rauden has a lot of my soma on ice, enough to mix with the eggs still in storage.

While I’m at it, I could even wipe my files out, the ones that come up from my own swipe ID. So my own history will be gone.

Now that I think of it, if I am changing my genes, should Rauden scrape some extra soma? It is a long time since I left soma. Maybe I better scoot across the river and leave extra at the Farm. There is still time to get it done today. Then come back and do the Change in Wappingers Falls. Sleep in the Terminal and go back to the Farm Wednesday morning to finish doing the SCNT with whatever’s on ice.

I don’t even know why I never thought of this before. One of us has to be someone else. I always thought that should be her. It could be me. The Grozny business we could talk our way out of, though it is always going to be an issue. But between Ani and me? As far as who is going to be gene for gene the original me? Let her be the only one.

ii

When I let myself in at the Farm, Rauden is lying on the sofa in front, in a bathrobe. It is a gray day and the light is funny. He just sat up fast. “What happened, I?” Man, he is looking white.

I said, “Nothing, it is all good. I just had a little time between Interviews and thought I’d come back and leave some soma.”

He just blinked. Remember he never slept? Now he sleeps too much, and when he woke up could hardly do anything.

“What Interview?” he says.

“I have an appointment. I only have time to scrape the breast.”

So he has stood up. “What Interview?”

I said, “You can’t have too much soma.”

He’s looking at me funny. He heads to the kitchen to boil a Beverage, and I go with him.

“I do not have time to scrape for endometrial product, but for soma, the breast tissue would work.”

“I, we have plenty of soma. What’s going on here?”

I didn’t say anything. I just sit down on a chair because I am still a little tired from the Harvest and running around.

“Where is this Interview?”

I said I didn’t know.

Then all at once he got very quiet. “Where is not have unprotected sex.”up g you feelthis Interview? ”

I said I didn’t know.

There was two chairs in the kitchen, and he just sat down on the other one, hard. “Oh, my God. You’re doing the Change.”

Whatever.

“Jesus, I. What’s wrong with you?”

I said, “Oh, R, what is the big deal? The ovary is used up anyhow. I mean, take extra soma just in case, but once I stop giving eggs, it’s over.”

“I.” He is rubbing his eyes, to think. “I! Listen, I.” He is rubbing his whole head. Then he looks up. “What are they paying? I’ll match it. Whatever it is. I’ll pull something together. It will take a few days, but—”

“I’m not getting anything.”

So he’s blinking.

“It is for Country Day.”

“For?”

“It is the Heritage check for the new school. Otherwise, when they do the Heritage check, they’re going to notice something fishy. The really good school has SOTA systems. They are going to figure us out.”

So he is still confused.

“They are so goddamn SOTA, R. I can’t crash their system. They’re going to figure out we are gene for gene the same, but a different age. R! They are doing telomere checks.”

He really looked confused now. His eyes are going back and forth. Then he got it. “You amaze me, I,” he goes and laughs. “Look, can’t you find a different school?”

“We ran out of really good schools, R. Anyhow, the systems in the really good schools is all getting SOTA. I mean, I guess the really experimental school could be open minded and accept her as some new kind of Diversity, but then Ani has to know.”

So he is thinking hard. He almost speaks, then doesn’t. Then he does speak. “Well tell her, then, if that’s all it’s about. She’s old enough.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want her to know.”

He stops and is going to speak. Then he looks at me. “I,” he goes. “Listen to me.” Then he goes really soft, like that would help me hear, “Listen to me. These guys who do the Change are a whole other can of beans than me.”

I’m running out of time here. I just want him to start with the soma.

“Listen to me, I.” He grabs my wrist. “These guys don’t know what they are dealing with.”

Whatever.

“I, you have no idea what might happen.”

“R! If it doesn’t work, I will try to get it done somewhere else.”

“I! For God’s sake, I. I’m worried that it will work.”

I finally sit down. I’m not having an Episode or anything. I’m just tired. “R. Come on. We did enough. It’s not like we want to take over the world.”

He just sat there blinking. Then he looks up at me. “Dear God, I. What are you thinking? You think it’s about sales? I, this is not about sales.”

What I’m thinking, I will never get back to Wappingers Falls in time.

He is just going on and ">She sent a message saying she has changed her mind.

Like I am really going to die.

“I! For God’s sake!” He’s pulling his own hair. “This is dangerous!”

Like I never did anything dangerous before.

“Will you fucking listen to me! We don’t even know how it’s going to affect the healing process. You’re still bleeding from the last Harvest. You want to get scraped for soma now then hop across the river and get Changed? You could have open wounds for the rest of your life.”

“So don’t scrape,” I said. I was too tired to keep arguing. “Use the old soma.”

“You’re not getting this, I.” He is almost going to cry.

“Ok, R. If you really want endometrial, go ahead. But you will have to do it yourself. Just do it fast. I would throw it in for free.”

So now he does cry. Here we go again. “You think this is all about the money! Obviously there were always ethical issues — the Life Industry is full of ethical issues, even without our contributions to the messy ethics of the goddamn thing.

“But, I. What we’re talking about now, it’s your life. I’m not talking about genes, or viables, or telomeres — which actually are a bit of a problem — or even the goddamn tanks we grew them in. I mean, I!” He is like, splish splash, down his face, through his beard. “How does someone get to be like you? I’m not talking about Mumbai or whatever goddamn pathogen had the misfortune to penetrate your goddamn body. I don’t mean Sealed Room goddamn tests. I mean, I! I’m talking personally here. The things that you survived — dear God, you were just a child! And OF COURSE I KNOW ABOUT THE CURES.” He’s crying so hard he starts to wheeze. “Do you think I’m stupid?”