Robert Asprin - Mything Persons

This Ace Book contains the complete

text of the original trade edition.

It has been completely reset in a typeface

designed for easy reading and was printed

from new film.

MYTH-ING PERSONS

An Ace book / published by arrangement with

Starblaze Editions of the Donning Company/Publishers

PRINTING HISTORY

Donning edition published 1984

Ace edition / November 1986

All rights reserved.

Copyright © 1984 by Robert L. Asprin.

Cover art by Walter Velez.

This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part,

by mimeograph or any other means, without permission.

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ISBN: 0-441-55276-5

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PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

10 9 8 7

"Reputations are fine up to a point. After

that they become a pain!"

—D.JUAN

THERE is something sinfully satisfying about doing

something you know you aren't supposed to. This was

roughly my frame of mind as I approached a specific

nondescript tent at the Bazaar at Deva with my break-

fast under my arm ... guilty, but smug.

"Excuse me, young sahr!"

I turned to find an elderly Deveel waving desperately

at me as he hurried forward. Normally I would have

avoided the encounter, as Deveels are always selling

something and at the moment I wasn't buying, but since

I wasn't in a hurry I decided to hear what he had to say.

"I'm glad I caught you in time," he said, struggling

to catch his breath. "While I don't usually meddle, you

really don't want to go in there!"

"Why not? I was just...."

"Do you know who lives there?"

"Well, actually I thought...."

"That is the dwelling of the Great Skeeve!"

Robert Asprin

Something about this busybody irritated me. Maybe

it was the way he never let me finish a sentence. Any-

way, I decided to string him along for a while."

"The Great Skeeve?"

"You never heard of him?" The Deveel seemed gen-

uinely shocked. "He's probably the most powerful

magician at the Bazaar."

My opinion of the busybody soared to new heights,

but the game was too much fun to abandon.

"I've never had too much faith in magicians," I said

with studied casualness. "I've found for the most part

their powers are overrated."

The oldster rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"That may be true in most cases, but not when it

comes to the Great Skeeve! Did you know he consorts

with Demons and has a dragon for a familiar?"

I favored him with a worldly smile.

"So what? Deva is a crossroads of the dimensions.

Dimension travelers, or Demons as you call them, are

the norm around here. As a Deveel, your main liveli-

hood comes from dealing with Demons. As for the

dragon, there's a booth not eight rows from here that

sells dragons to anyone with the price.''

"No, no! You don't understand! Of course we all

deal with Demons when it comes to business. The dif-

ference is that this Skeeve is actually friends with them

... invites them into his home and lives with them. One

of his permanent house guests is a Pervert, and I don't

know of a single Deveel who would stoop that low.

What's more, I've heard it said that he has underworld

connections."

The game was growing tiresome. Any points the

Deveel had made with his tribute to the Great Skeeve

had been lost with interest when he started commenting

on Demons.

MYTH-ING PERSONS 3

"Well, thank you for your concern," I said, holding

out my hand for a handshake. "I promise you I'll re-

member everything you've said. What was your name

again?"

The Deveel grabbed my hand and began pumping it

vigorously.

"I am Aliman, and glad to be of assistance," he said

with an ingratiating smile. "If you really want to show

your gratitude, remember my name. Should you ever be

in need of a reputable magician, I have a nephew who's

just getting started in the business. I'm sure we could ar-

range some discount prices for you. Tell me, what is

your name so I can tell him who to watch for?"

I tightened my grip slightly and gave him my widest

smile. "Well, my friends call me Skeeve."

"I'll be sure to tell... SKEEVE?"

The Deveel's eyes widened, and his complexion faded

from red to a delicate pink.

"That's right," I said, retaining my grip on his hand.

"Oh, and for your information Demons from Perv are

called Pervects, not Perverts... and he's not my house

guest, he's my partner."

The Deveel was struggling desperately now, trying to

free his hand.

"Now then, how many customers have you scared

away from my business with your tales about what a

fearsome person I am? "

The Deveel tore loose from my grip and vanished into

the crowds, sounding an incoherent scream of terror as

he went. In short, Aliman left. Right?

I watched him go with a certain amount of mischie-

vous satisfaction. I wasn't really angry, mind you. We

literally had more money than we could use right now,

so I didn't begrudge him the customers. Still, I had

never really paused to consider how formidable our

4 Robert Asprin

operation must look from the outside. Viewing it now

through a stranger's eyes, I found myself more than a

little pleased. Considering the dubious nature of my

beginning, we had built ourselves quite a reputation

over the last few years.

I had been serious when I told Aliman that I didn't

have much faith in magicians. My own reputation was

overrated to say the least, and if I was being billed as a

powerful magician, it made the others of my profession

more than a little suspect in my eyes. After several years

of seeing the inside of the magic business, I was starting

to wonder if any magician was really as good as people

thought.

I was so wrapped up in these thoughts as I entered our

humble tent that I had completely forgotten that I was

suppoised to be sneaking in. I was reminded almost im-

mediately.

The reminder came in the form of a huge man who

loomed up to block my path. "Boss," he said in a

squeaky little voice that was always surprising coming

from such a huge body, "you shouldn't ought to go out

alone like that. How many times we got to tell you...."

"It's all right, Nunzio," I said, trying to edge around

him. "I just ducked out to get some breakfast. Want a

bagel?"

Nunzio was both unconvinced and undaunted in his

scolding.

"How are we supposed to be your bodyguards if you

keep sneaking off alone every chance you get? Do you

know what Don Bruce would do to us if anything hap-

pened to you?"

"C'mon, Nunzio. You know how things are here at

the Bazaar. If the Deveels see me with a bodyguard, the

price of everything goes through the ceiling. Besides, I

MYTH-ING PERSONS 5

like being able to wander around on my own once in a

while."

"You can afford the higher prices. What you can't

afford is to set yourself up as a target for every bozo

who wants the rep of bagging the Great Skeeve."

I started to argue, but my conversation with Aliman