Robert Asprin - Mything Persons

and they didn't come past me!"

"Well they didn't come past me!" Guido countered.

I started to get a very cold feeling in my stomach.

"Aahz, "I said softly.

"If you think I don't know when...."

"AAHZ!"

That brought him up short. He turned to me with an

angry retort on his lips, then he saw my expression.

"What is it, Skeeve? You look as if...."

"There are more than two ways out of that room."

We stared at each other in stunned silence for a few

moments, then we both sprinted for the reception room,

leaving Guido to trail along behind.

The room we had selected for our reception area was

one of the largest in the place, and the only large room

with easy access from the front door. It was furnished in

a style lavish enough to impress even those customers

spoiled by the wonders of the Bazaar who were expect-

ing to see the home office of a successful magician.

There was only one problem with it, and that was the

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Robert Asprin

focus of our attention as we dashed in.

The only decoration that we had kept from the previ-

ous owners was an ornate tapestry hanging on the north

wall. Usually I'm faster than Aahz, but this time he beat

me to the hanging, sweeping it aside with his arm to re-

veal a heavy door behind it.

Our worst fears were realized.

The door was unlocked and standing ajar.

"Success often hinges on choosing a

reliable partner."

—REMUS

"WHAT'S that?" Guido demanded, taking advantage of

our stunned silence.

"It's a door," I said.

"An open door, to be specific," Aahz supplied.

"I can see that for myself!" the bodyguard roared. "I

meant what is it doing here?"

"It would look pretty silly standing alone in the mid-

dle of the street now, wouldn't it?" Aahz shot back.

Guido purpled. As I've said, these two have a positive

talent for getting under each other's skins.

"Now look, all I'm askin'...."

"Guido, could you just hang on for a few minutes

until we decide what to do next? Then we'll explain, I

promise."

My mind was racing over the problem, and having

Aahz and Guido going at each other did nothing for my

concentration.

"I think the first thing we should do, partner," Aahz

11

12 Robert Asprin

said thoughtfully, "is to get the door closed so that we

won't be... interrupted while we work this out."

Rather than answer, I reached out a cautious toe and

pushed the door shut. Aahz quickly slipped two of the

bolts in place to secure it.

That done, we leaned against the door and looked at

each other in silence.

"Well? What do you think?" I asked at last.

"I'm in favor of sealing it up again and forgetting the

whole thing."

"Think it's safe to do that?"

"Don't know, really. Not enough information."

We both turned slowly to level thoughtful stares at

Guido.

"Say, uh, Guido, could you tell us a little more about

those customers who came in this morning?"

"Nothing doin'." Guido crossed his arms. "You're

the guys who insist on 'information for information.'

Right? Well, I'm not telling you anything more until

somebody tells me about that door. I mean, I'm sup-

posed to be your bodyguard and nobody bothers to tell

me there's another way into this place?"

Aahz bared his teeth and started forward, but I

caught him by the shoulder.

"He's right, partner. If we want his help, we owe him

an explanation."

We locked eyes again for a moment, then he shrugged

and retreated.

"Actually, Guido, the explanation is very sim-

ple. ..."

"That'll be a first," the bodyguard grumbled.

In a bound, Aahz was across the room and had Guido

by the shirt front.

"You wanted an explanation? Then SHUT UP AND

LET HIM EXPLAIN!"

MYTH-ING PERSONS 13

Now Guido is no lightweight, and he's never been

short in the courage department. Still, there's nothing

quite like Aahz when he's really mad.

"0—Okay! Sorry! Go ahead. Boss. I'm listening."

Aahz released his grip and returned to his place by the

door, winking at me covertly as he went.

"What happened is this," I said, hiding a smile.

"Aahz and I found that door when we first moved in

here. We didn't like the looks of it, so we decided to

leave it alone. That's all."

"That's all!? A back door that even you admit looks

dangerous and all you do is ignore it? And if that wasn't

bad enough, you don't even bother to tell your body-

guards about it? Of all the lamebrained, half...."

Aahz cleared his throat noisily, and Guido regained

control of himself... rapidly.

"Aahh... what I mean to say is ... oh well. That's

all behind us now. Could you give me a little more in-

formation now that the subject's out in the open?

What's on the other side of that door, anyway?"

"We don't know," I admitted.

"YOU DON'T KNOW?" Guido shrieked.

"What we do know," Aahz interrupted hastily, "is

what isn't on the other side. What isn't there is any di-

mension we know about."

Guido blinked, then shook his head. "I don't get it.

Could you run that past me again ... real slow?"

"Let me try," I said. "Look, Guido, you already

know about dimensions, right? How we're living in the

dimension Deva, which is an entirely different world

than our own home dimension of Klah? Well, the

people here, the Deveels, are masters of dimension

travel to a point where they build their houses across the

dimension barriers. That's how come this place is bigger

on the inside than it is on the outside. The door is in

14 Robert Asprin

Deva, but the rest of the house is in another dimension.

That means if we go through that door, the back door

that we've just shown you, we'd be in another world ...

one we know nothing about. That's why we were willing

to leave it sealed up rather than stick our noses out into

a completely unknown situation."

"I still think you should have checked it out," the

bodyguard insisted stubbornly.

"Think again," Aahz supplied. "You've only seen

two dimensions. Skeeve here has visited a dozen. I've

been to over a hundred myself. The Deveels you see here

at the Bazaar, on the other hand, know over a thousand

different dimensions."

"So?"

"So we think they gave us this place because it opens

into a dimension that they don't want... 'don't want'

as in 'scared to death of. Now, you've seen what a

Deveel will brave to turn a profit. Do you want to go ex-

ploring in a world that's too mean for them to face?"

"I see what you mean."

"Besides." Aahz finished triumphantly, "take an-

other look at that door. It's got more locks and bolts

than three ordinary bank vaults."

"Somebody opened it," Guido said pointedly.

That took some of the wind out of Aahz's sails.

Despite himself, he shot a nervous glance at the door.

"Well... a good thief with a lockpick working from

this side...."

"Some of these locks weren't picked, Aahz."

I had been taking advantage of their discussion to do

a little snooping, and now held up one of my discoveries

for their inspection. It was a padlock with the metal

shackle snapped off. There were several of them scat-

tered about, as if someone had gotten impatient with the

MYTH-ING PERSONS 15

lockpick and simply torn the rest of them apart with his

hands.

Guido pursed his lips in a silent whistle. "Man, that's