Robert Asprin - Mything Persons

"I can't afford to go off half-cocked like a rash kid any-

more. Besides, I have every confidence in my partner's

ability to handle things."

Those were brave words, and I meant them. Two days

later, however, this particular 'responsible business-

man' was ready to go off fully cocked. Guido and Nun-

zio ceased to complain about my sneaking off alone...

mostly because I didn't go out at all! In fact, I spent

most of my waking hours and all of my sleeping hours

(though I'll admit I didn't sleep much) in the reception

room on the off-chance that I could greet Aahz on his

triumphant return.

Unfortunately, my vigil went unrewarded.

I did my best to hide my concern, but I needn't have

bothered. As the hours marched on, my staff's worries

grew until most of my time was spent telling them, "No,

he isn't back yet. When he gets here, I'll let you know."

Even Guido, who never really got along with Aahz,

took to stopping by at least once an hour for a no-prog-

ress report.

Finally, as a salve for my own nerves, I called every-

one into the reception room for a staff meeting.

"What I want to know is how long are we just going

to sit around before we admit that something's gone

wrong?" Guido muttered for the fifth time.

"How long do you figure it takes to find a fugitive in

a strange dimension?" I shot back. "How long would it

take you to find them if they were on Klah, Guido?

We've got to give him some time."

"How much time?" he countered. "It's already been

two days...."

"Tananda and Chumley will be back any time now,"

Massha interrupted. "Do you think they'll just sit

around on their hands when they find out that Aahz is

out there all alone?"

"I thought you were the one who thought that going

after him was a stupid idea?"

"I still do. Now do you want to know what I think of

the idea of doing nothingi"

Before I could answer, a soft knock sounded at the

door ... the back door!

"See!" I crowed triumphantly. "I told you he would

be back!"

"That doesn't sound like his knock," Guido ob-

served suspiciously.

"And why should he knock?" Massha added. "The

door hasn't been locked since he left."

In my own relief and enthusiasm, their remarks went

unnoticed. In a flash I was at the door, wrenching it

open while voicing the greeting I had been rehearsing

for two days.

"It's about time, part... ner."

26

MYTH-ING PERSONS 27

Robert Asprin

It wasn't Aahz.

In fact, the being outside the door didn't look any-

thing at all like Aahz. What was doubly surprising,

though, was that I recognized her!

We had never really met... not to exchange names,

but shortly after meeting Aahz I had been strung up by

an angry mob while impersonating her, and I had seen

her in the crowd when I successfully "interviewed" for

the job of court magician at Possletum.

What I had never had a chance to observe first-hand

was her radiant complexion framed by waves of sun-

gold hair, or the easy grace with which she carried her-

self, or the....

"It's the Great Skeeve, right? Behind the open

mouth?"

Her voice was so musical it took me a few moments to

zero in on what she had said and realize that she was ex-

pecting an answer.

"Aahh ... yes. I mean, at your service,"

"Glad to finally meet you face-to-face," she said

briskly, glancing at Guido and Massha nervously. "I've

been looking for an excuse for a while, and I guess this

is it. Got some news for you... about your appren-

tice."

I was still having problems focusing on what she was

saying. Not only was her voice mesmerizing, she was

easily the loveliest woman I had ever met... well, girl

actually. She couldn't have been much older than me.

What's more, she seemed to like me. That is, she kept

smiling hesitantly and her deep blue eyes never left

mine. Now, I had gotten respect from my colleagues

and from beings at the Bazaar who knew my reputation,

but never from anyone who looked like ....

Then her words sank in.

"My apprentice?"

I stole an involuntary glance at Massha before I real-

ized the misunderstanding.

"Oh, you mean Aahz. He's not my apprentice any

more. He's my partner. Please come in. We were just

talking about him."

I stood to one side of the door and invited her in with

a grand sweeping gesture. I'd never tried it before, but I

had seen it used a couple of times while I was working

the court at Possletum, and it had impressed me.

"Umm—Boss? Could I talk to you for a minute?"

"Later, Guido."

I repeated the gesture, and the girl responded with a

quick smile that lit up the room.

"Thanks for the invite," she said, "but I'll have to

take a rain check. I really can't stay. In fact, I shouldn't

be here at all. I just thought that someone should let you

know that your friend... Aahz is it? Anyway, your

friend is in jail."

That brought me back to earth in a hurry.

"Aahz? In jail? For what?"

"Murder."

"MURDER!" I shrieked, dropping all attempts to be

urbane. "But Aahz wouldn't.. .."

"Don't shout at me! Oh, I knew I shouldn't have

come. Look, I know he didn't do it. That's why I had to

let you know what was going on. If you don't do some-

thing, they're going to execute him... and they know

how to execute demons over here."

I spun around to face the others.

"Massha! Go get your jewelry case. Guido, Nunzio!

Gear up. We're going to pay a little call on our neigh-

bors."

I tried to keep my voice calm and level, but somehow

the words came out a bit more intense than I had in-

tended.

28

Robert Asprin MYTH-ING PERSONS 29

"Not so fast. Boss," Guido said. "There's something

you oughta know first."

"Later. I want you to...."

"NOW, Boss. It's important!"

"WHAT IS IT!"

Needless to say, I was not eager to enter into any pro-

longed conversations just now.

"She's one of'em."

"I beg your pardon?"

"The three that went out through the back door. The

ones your partner is chasing. She's the broad."

Thunderstruck, I turned to the girl for confirmation,

only to find the doorway was empty. My mysterious

visitor had disappeared as suddenly as she had arrived.

"This could be a trap, you know," Massha said

thoughtfully.

"She's right." Guido nodded. "Take it from some-

one who's been on the lam himself. When you're run-

ning from the law and there are only a couple of people

who can find you, it gets real tempting to eliminate that

link. We've only got her word that your partner's in

trouble."

"It wouldn't take a mental giant to figure out that

you and Aahz are the most likely hunters for the Deveels

to hire. After all, they knew whose house they were cut-

ting through for their getaway," Massha added.

Guido rose to his feet and started pacing.

"Right," he said. "Now suppose they've got Aahz.

Can you think of a better way to bag the other half of

the pair than by feeding you a line about your partner

being in trouble so you'll come charging into whatever

trap they've laid out? The whole set-up stinks, Boss. I

don't know about strange dimensions, but I do know

about criminals. As soon as you step through that door,

you're gonna be a sitting duck."

"Are you quite through?"

Even to my ears my voice sounded icy, but for a