Robert Asprin - Mything Persons

strong. What kind of person could do that?"

"That's what we've been trying to get you to tell us,"

Aahz said nastily. "Now, if you don't mind, what were

those customers like?"

"Three of them... two men and a woman... fairly

young-looking, but nothing special. Klahds by the look

of 'em. Come to think of it, they did seem a bit nervous,

but I thought it was just because they were coming to see

a magician."

"Well, now they're on the other side of the door."

Aahz scooped up one of the undamaged locks and

snapped it into place. "I don't think they can pick

locks, or break them if they can't reach 'em. They're

there, which is their problem, self-inflicted I might add,

and we're here. End of puzzle. End of problem."

"Do you really think so, Aahz?"

"Trust me."

Somehow that phrase struck a familiar chord in my

memory, and the echoes weren't pleasant. I was about

to raise this point with Aahz when Nunzio poked his

head in the door.

"Hey, Boss. You got visitors."

"See?" my partner exclaimed, beaming. "I told you

things could only get better! It's not even noon and

we've got more customers."

"Actually," Nunzio clarified, "it's a delegation of

Deveels. I think it's the landlord."

"The landlord?" Aahz echoed hollowly.

"See how much better things have gotten?" I said

with a disgusted smirk. "And it's not even noon."

"Shall I run 'em off, Boss?" Guido suggested.

16 Robert Asprin

"I think you'd better see *em," Nunzio advised.

"They seem kind'a upset. Something about us harbor-

ing fugitives."

Aahz and I locked gazes in silence, which was only

natural as there was nothing more to be said. With a

vague wave that bordered on a nervous tick, I motioned

for Nunzio to show the visitors in.

As expected, it was the same delegation of four from

the Devan Chamber of Commerce who had originally

hired us to work for the Bazaar, headed by our old ad-

versary, Hay-ner. Last time we dealt with him, we had

him over a barrel and used the advantage mercilessly.

While he had agreed to our terms, I always suspected it

had hurt his Devan pride to cut such a generous deal and

that he had been waiting ever since to pay us back. From

the smile on his face as he entered our reception room, it

appeared he felt his chance had finally come.

"Aahh, Master Skeeve," he said. "How good of you

to see us so promptly without an appointment. I know

how busy you are, so I'll come right to the point. I

believe there are certain individuals in residence here

that our organization is most anxious to speak with. If

you would be so kind as to summon them, we won't

trouble you further."

"Wait a minute, Hay-ner," Aahz put in before I

could respond. "What makes you think the people

you're looking for are here?"

"Because they were seen entering your tent less than

an hour ago and haven't come out yet," said the largest

of Hay-ner's back-up team.

I noticed that unlike Hay-ner, he wasn't smiling. In

fact, he looked down-right angry.

"He must mean the ones who came in earlier," Nun-

zio suggested helpfully. "You know. Boss, the two guys

with the broad."

MYTH-ING PERSONS

17

Aahz rolled his eyes in helpless frustration, and for

once I was inclined to agree with him.

"Umm, Nunzio," I said, staring at the ceiling, "why

don't you and Guido wait outside while we take care of

this?"

The two bodyguards trooped outside in silence,

though I noticed that Guido glared at his cousin with

such disdain that I suspected a stern dressing-down

would take place even before I could get to him myself.

The Mob is no more tolerant than magicians of staff

members who say more than they should in front of the

opposition.

"Now that we've established that we all know who

we're talking about and that they're here," Hay-ner

said, rubbing his hands together, "call them out and

we'll finish this once and for all."

"Not so fast," I interrupted. "First of all, neither of

us have laid eyes on those folks you're looking for,

because, second of all, they aren't here. They took it on

the lam out the back door before we could meet them."

"Somehow, I don't expect you to take our word for

it," Aahz added. "So feel free to search the place."

The Deveel's smile broadened, and I was conscious of

cold sweat breaking out on my brow.

"That won't be necessary. You see, whether I believe

you or not is of little consequence. Even if we searched,

I'm sure you would be better at hiding things than we

would be at finding them. All that really matters is that

we've established that they did come in here, and that

makes them .your responsibility."

I wasn't sure exactly what was going on here, but I

was sure that I was liking it less and less with each pass-

ing moment.

"Wait a minute, Hay-ner," I began. "What do you

mean 'We're responsible'? Responsible for what?"

18 Robert Asprin ;

"Why, for the fugitives, of course. Don't you remem- |

ber? When we agreed to let you use this place rent-free,

part of the deal was that if anyone of this household

broke any of the Bazaar rules, and either disappeared

off to another dimension or. otherwise refused to face ;

the charges, that you would personally take responsibil-

ity for their actions. It's a standard clause in any Bazaar

lease."

"Aahz," I said testily, "you cut the deal. Was there a

clause like that in it?" |

"There was," he admitted. "But I was thinking of

Tananda and Chumley at the time... and we'll stand

behind them anytime. Massha, too. It never occurred to

me that they'd try to claim that anyone who walked

through our door was a member of our household. I

don't see how they can hope to prove...."

"We don't have to prove that they're in your house-

hold," Hay-ner smiled. "You have to prove they

aren't." I

"That's crazy," Aahz exploded. "How can we |

prove...." I

"Can it, Aahz. We can't prove it. That's the point. |

All right, Hay-ner. You've got us. Now what exactly

have these characters done that we're responsible for

and what are our options? I thought one of the big sales

points of the Bazaar was that there weren't any rules

here."

"There aren't many," the Deveel said, "but the few

that do exist are strictly enforced. The specific rule your

friends broke involves fraud."

He quickly held up a hand to suppress my retort.

"I know what you're going to say. Fraud sounds like

a silly charge with all the hard bargaining that goes on

here at the Bazaar, but to us it's a serious matter. While

we pride ourselves in driving a hard bargain, once the

MYTH-ING PERSONS 19

deal is made you get the goods you were promised.

Sometimes there are specific details omitted in describ-

ing the goods, but anything actually said is true. That is

our reputation and the continued success of the Bazaar

depends on that reputation being scrupulously main-

tained. If a trader or merchant sells something claiming

it to be magical and it turns out to have no powers at all,

that's fraud ... and if the perpetrators are allowed to go

unpunished, it could mean the end of the Bazaar as we

know it."

"Actually," I said drily, "all I was going to do was

protest you billing them as our friends, but I'll let it go.

What you haven't mentioned is our options."