Liz Adams: Alice's Sexual Discovery in a Wonderful World

“Time to deal with you.” Bad breath smacked her face.

Alice paled. It was the duke.

“I have to thank you,” he said with malice, “for getting me out of prison. Now I can’t wait to shove my cock so deep into you, your eyes will be bleeding.”

Alice’s body tensed for a fight. Her gut churned heavy.

“Do you know why I don’t take you right here?” he said. “It’s because the queen is near. Now, where shall we complete our unfinished business?”

She could turn him into a mouse as the Cheshire cat suggested, but was that too cruel? Think! Alice told herself. Think! What could she do? How could she escape?

“Ahem!” the queen interrupted their conversation. Never had Alice thought she’d be so relieved to see the queen. Could she convince the queen to send the duke back to prison for his head to be chopped off? Alice wasn’t sure she could convince the queen of anything. No. The best solution for the moment was to get the duke to go away.

“I know just the place,” Alice whispered quickly to the duke. “Meet me at that shed over there,” she pointed with her eyes, “sneak in and I’ll be there soon.”

The queen said at the duke, “Either you or your head must be off! Which will it be?”

“A pl-pl-pleasure to see you, your m-m-majesty,” and off the duke ran.

“Now.” The queen turned to Alice. “Are you coming to the trial or not?”

“Trial?”

“Yes. We’ve found the thief who stole the tarts. Come along!”

Alice followed the queen. As she quickened her pace to keep up, she thought about the strange way the queen governed this Wonderland. The restrictions against cliches, similes and metaphors were understandable. Alice witnessed firsthand the dangers of and the power of words. But why cut off all the tips of men’s penises?

“Your majesty,” Alice started.

“What is it?” the queen said.

“Why do you…that is, I’ve noticed how you tend to…what I mean is-”

“Spit it out, woman!”

“How come so many men are having their…heads cut off?”

The queen took in a deep breath, sighed, and then stopped walking. Alice watched the queen open her mouth to say something, and stop herself. The queen did this several times, gazing at the sky, searching, opening her mouth to say something, and then shutting her mouth, apparently changing her mind.

“When I was a princess,” the queen said at last, “I looked forward to the day I would meet my prince. I pictured our courtship. Would he take me to dance in ballrooms? Would he sing to me in a bower? Would he take me upon his stallion to a secluded beautiful place in the forest?”

For the first time Alice saw the queen smile with the sweetness of love.

“I used to take walks along these fields, practicing my likes.”

“Your likes?” Alice asked.

“Yes, ‘the clouds above me are like cotton candy,’ ‘the wind is like an ocean breeze,’ that kind of ‘like’.”

Alice stared at the pink puffs in the sky. She breathed deep and tasted the fresh, salty air.

“All the while, I was wondering who my prince would be and how we would spend our time together.”

The queen’s eyes drifted to the ground. She frowned.

“I was saving myself-” The queen stopped. She gave Alice a troubled expression. “I had a special rose. I was planning to give it to my prince.”

Alice nodded. She understood the queen’s meaning.

“And it was taken,” the queen said quietly. “Against my will.” She whispered with anger.

Alice said nothing. She didn’t know what to say.

“I know it’s ridiculous.” The queen pursed her lips. “To surround myself with red roses as if somehow, that would bring back my own. Bring back a prince. But still, I let my foolishness of having all these flowers…”

The queen let the silence linger.

“Who took it?” Alice asked.

“I don’t know. I…my back was turned. All I remember was his foul breath. Like chili pepper.”

Alice gasped.

“Come now,” the queen said in an imperious tone, intimate girl talk seemingly forgotten. “The trial is about to begin.”

Alice followed the queen across the grassy field to a courtroom laid out on the green grass. There were two rows of chairs for the jury, a seating arrangement for onlookers, and there sat the queen in her throne across from the suspect. The suspect was a flat man with a hood over his head. His normal-looking hands and feet were wrapped in chains spiked to the ground.

“Delicious!” A voice said by way of greeting. Among the arriving onlookers, Alice saw it was Caterpillar! He wore a big, welcoming smile.

“I don’t understand,” Alice said. “Last I saw you, you were becoming a cocoon. But you look the same as before.”

“I was in that cocoon to realize my full potential. Inside I had time to think. If I wanted to get to the best I could be, I needed to first know where I was starting from. The more I dwelled on who I already was, the more I realized how I didn’t want to be any different. I am Caterpillar. Smoking gun and all.”

Alice ran into his arms to give him the hug he so deserved, and took comfort in feeling all of his hands enfold her. Caterpillar’s words and confidence warmed her chest. She wondered if it would do her well to follow his example.

“Come to order!” the queen announced.

It was time to sit down. Alice bid Caterpillar a quiet farewell. She looked for a place to sit, but all of the onlookers’ seats were taken. Alice saw Rabbit in one of the seats. Without asking, she sat on his lap. He frowned, but said nothing and didn’t move her off his lap.

“Jury,” the queen said, “what is your verdict?”

“Uh, not yet, your majesty,” said a courtroom orderly standing beside the queen. “First we must hear the evidence against the Jack of Hearts.”

“Oh, very well.” The queen waved her hand as if to say move along. “Go on.”

The orderly announced, “Bring in the first witness!”

Two flat soldiers, the Eight of Hearts and the Nine of Hearts, escorted the elder of the village in. Rabbit whispered to Alice. “This isn’t very comfortable.” He patted her hips.

Alice had an idea. “You wanted to know what a pussy feels like?” She grinned at him.

“Yes?”

“Well, I’ll show you something that feels better than that!”

Alice discreetly lifted her dress, pulled her panties down, and sat on Rabbit, skin on skin.

The queen asked the elder, “What’s your testimony?”

“I saw the Jack in Rabbit’s cottage,” the old man said. “And it wasn’t even his cottage. It was Rabbit’s.”

Alice reached behind her and rubbed Rabbit’s cock. She had to see. Had to know for sure if this was the only way she could climax. His length hardened hot in her hand.

The queen said, “Jury, what’s your verdict?”

“Um,” the orderly said, “there is more evidence to view, your Majesty.”

“Yes, yes,” the queen said. “Call the next witness.”

“Bring in the next witness!” shouted the orderly.

The soldiers escorted the elder out and brought in Caterpillar.

Alice brought Rabbit’s tip to her ass. “It’s as moist as a tongue,” she said. His length became slippery and the head slid right in.

Alice sucked in her breath. She clenched around him and felt him stretch her entrance.

“Alright, Caterpillar,” the queen said. “Present your evidence.”

“I was sitting on my mushroom at the time the tarts were stolen,” he said.

“So?” the queen said.

“So the thief clearly was not me. And since the Jack of Hearts is also not me, the thief must be the Jack.”

“Yes!” the queen said. “That proof is solid.”