Liz Adams: Alice's Sexual Discovery in a Wonderful World

Alice’s body flushed hot. The gardener kept up his tongue twirling. She worked hard to stay still. She wanted to pump on his tongue. She wanted him to put a warm smart finger inside her ass. She was close to climax. A well-placed finger would get her there for sure. She wanted to squirm. She wanted more and she knew what she wanted. Heat pulsed through her and she held herself still.

The soldier spoke. She heard him through her heat.

“You, Alice, are hereby invited to join the queen in a game of croquet. Please follow us.”

The processional marched past her. Alice didn’t want to move, not yet.

Alice felt the tongue slip out, and a finger reposition her underwear. Alice sighed. The gardener came out from under her dress.

“Thank you for saving me,” he said. “I am truly grateful. Oh, and I painted your rose red.”

"I know." She took a deep breath and blew out to relieve some of the tension.

"Are you alright, Alice?"

Alice giggled at the way he didn’t seem to realize how she’d felt his every lick.

“You better join the processional to the queen’s croquet game, now. Goodbye!” And off went the flat gardener with his talented tongue.

Alice sighed again.

It was time to find a way back home. Who else but the queen would have the power to help Alice return home? Alice decided she should befriend the queen, and if that meant playing croquet with her, so be it.

Playing croquet with a queen! Alice relished the thought. My friends will be so jealous when they find out!

Alice watched as all the soldiers of the processional had passed. Then came the villagers from the start of her adventure, those ridiculous naked men from the campfire and led by their elder. She joined behind them, hoping she wouldn’t be recognized as the woman who killed one of their men. One of them bumped into her.

She turned to whoever it was. “Pardon me.”

It was Rabbit. His eyes widened. “You!”

Alice raised her hands in innocence. “I swear it was an accident. I didn’t mean for any harm to come to him.”

“ ‘Any harm?’ ” Rabbit looked appalled. “ ‘Any harm?!’ You talk as if he experienced a hazard of some sort. You killed him! Are you saying his death was an unfortunate mishap? A bad day? Rotten luck? One too many black cats crossed his path? Walked under too many ladders, did he? His death was just one of his unpleasant memories? Didn’t throw enough salt over his shoulder? Is that it?”

“No! Of course not!” Alice’s gut clamped tight. “I feel awful about it.”

Rabbit looked at Alice. She could feel her eyes stinging. All at once it hit her. The denial. Her denial. She spent all this time running away, never acknowledging his death.

What did that say about her as a human being? Didn’t she realize how his friends could never see him again? Talk to him again? Enjoy his company? She shook her head to voice her heart-felt apology, but instead Rabbit startled her with his next words.

“Aw, don’t worry about it. He came back to life.”

“What?” She wiped away the wetness of her eyes.

“One of the villagers got careless. He knows the taboo against reciting cliches, similes, and metaphors. But when he looked at the smile on the dead man’s face, he said, ‘It’s like he’s still alive.’ So the dead man came back to life.”

Alice couldn’t believe it. “Wow! That’s great, right? Where is he now?”

“In his cottage. After he came back to life, he found some slippery jelly, locked himself in his cottage, and we haven’t seen him since.”

Slippery jelly? “But he’s okay? He’s still alive?”

“He’s fine. He seems to be making a lot of discoveries.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because everyone can hear him from inside his cottage saying, ‘Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes!’ ”

Alice had the instant image of the man sliding a well-lubed hand up and down his cock. She smiled and bit on the tip of her finger to keep herself from revealing what she knew. But what mattered was that he was alive. The weight of her guilt lifted. She felt light, as if everything would be okay. Now she could go to the croquet game and fully enjoy herself like all the other players until she could find a way to get home.

Wait a second, Alice thought. Isn’t the duke supposed to be at the game, too?

Alice swiveled to see if the duke was in the processional. She didn’t see him.

“Where’s the duke?” Alice asked Rabbit.

“The queen sentenced him to have his head chopped off,” Rabbit said.

“You mean,” Alice said, “the tip of his…” She burst out laughing and covered her mouth. The duke was going to have the top of his penis cut off! She was a little sorry for the duke’s pain. But not really.

“It’s not funny!” Rabbit said.

“I know, I know” Alice tried to stifle her laugh, but soon it exploded out from her mouth in loud barks. She grabbed her middle, the laughing hurt so much, in such a good way.

Rabbit must think her the most cold-blooded person alive.

She tried to control herself, breathing in, then out, waving her hands at her face.

Rabbit looked appalled, again.

“I’m sorry.” Alice couldn’t stop her grinning. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Deep breaths, she told herself.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Alice finally said, “So how come the queen is having them cut off his-” She exploded in laughter again. She had to stop walking. Rabbit stopped beside her. The villagers around her moved past them. Alice doubled over, letting loose howls of laughter, clutching her side again. After the guffaws were out, and the chuckles and the giggles, she breathed and felt finally she had control of herself.

She stood upright. She felt dizzy.

“Are you quite done?” Rabbit asked sternly.

“Yes.” Alice breathed deeply. “I think so.”

She wondered when was the last time she laughed this much. She couldn’t remember. It felt great. Almost as great as an orgasm.

She asked, “Why did the queen sentence him?”

“He was late to the croquet game,” Rabbit said. “The queen doesn’t tolerate tardiness.”

“So, this croquet game we’re going to wasn’t the one that he was invited to?”

“No, no,” Rabbit said. “He was invited to the post-early-afternoon game. There have been three more since then.”

“Three?”

“Yes, the pre-mid-afternoon game, the mid-afternoon game, and the post-mid-afternoon game.”

“And which one are we attending?”

“The pre-late-afternoon game.”

Alice cracked a smile and clamped down on the giggles that threatened to erupt.

Alice was walking with Rabbit now as they approached a wide expanse of green. The entire processional had arrived at an enormous grassy field enclosed by red rose bushes.

They heard an announcement, “Places everyone!”

The flat soldiers ran to their places, bending over into arches.

“What queer arches,” Alice said. She looked around to see where the balls were. She saw a spot by the bushes where dozens of crabs were slowly stepping and stumbling over each other. These crabs had spherical shells, instead of flat shells that Alice had always seen at the seaside. Their legs were just long enough to shift across the ground. Otherwise, it looked like they could roll head over tail quite easily.

“What queer balls,” Alice said. She looked on the ground for mallets, but didn’t see any.

“Where are the mallets?” Alice asked Rabbit.

“There.” Rabbit pointed to a row of shirtless men. Some buff, some lean, some plump, some broad-shouldered. And mmm, Alice liked the chiseled chin on one of the broad-shouldered, bare-chested men. His chest was particularly buff and tan, as if he spent many hours in the sun working his body in honest labor.