Tristan Taormino - The Ultimate Guide to Kink - BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge

Nora looked at the row of clothespins and couldn’t resist toying with them. This action made Bob jump as new sensations delivered their messages to his brain.

Nora caressed his hard cock and leaned down to lick the head. She looked up at Bob, who trembled more than before. The sight of her luscious lips nibbling at his dick and the new sensations of pain and pleasure were working to make this a memorable night.

Nora took the head of his cock into her mouth, careful not to disturb the pins. She used her tongue to stimulate the underside of his head, right where she had used the cruel toothbrush just minutes before. She figured he deserved a little reward for being so obedient, and besides, she loved the feeling of his cock in her mouth.

While she lovingly sucked the head of his cock, she used her fingers to flick the clothespins. Her long nails scraping against the row of pins sent flashes of pain through Bob’s cock. She waited a bit and then did it again, each time making Bob twitch and squirm. His moaning was intoxicating to her, knowing she was giving him a wonderfully twisted delight of pain and pleasure together.

Removing her mouth from his head, she lifted his dick almost up to his belly, the clothespins protruding toward her face. This time, as she looked up at him, she had a slightly evil grin. She opened her mouth and, using her teeth, delicately took the uppermost clothespin in her mouth.

The sensation was like white-hot lead coursing through his body. Bob grimaced. “Motherfucker,” he said, almost dropping the rope.

“Motherfucker, who?” Nora demanded.

“Motherfucker, Mistress?”

“Much better, boy,” she said, chuckling as she approached the next pin. Each one she removed with care so as not to damage the delicate skin of Bob’s penis. Each one brought a new invective from Bob, followed by a polite “Mistress,” right up to the last one.

“Mercy, Mistress,” Bob panted, feeling as if he could take no more.

“Unfortunately,” Nora said, “that clothespin has to come off and it’s going to hurt, so why don’t I let you take it off?”

Bob thought for a moment and then closed his eyes tight. “No, Mistress, go ahead.”

“Go ahead, what?” she questioned. “Have you forgotten your manners?”

“Please, Mistress, take it off.”

She smiled and bent down, taking the final pin between her teeth. She slowly squeezed the pin, releasing the tension and letting the last bit of skin pull free.

For a moment Bob didn’t make a sound. Then he began giggling uncontrollably. The combination of adrenaline and natural opiates had him higher than a kite.

“Thank you, Mistress.”

Nora slowly unwrapped his balls from the bandage and reached up to remove the rope from his mouth. Untying it, she carefully removed the coil of rope, making sure not to pull too much hair in the process.

Once free, Bob’s cock was still erect. Nora intended to make good use of it over the course of the night. Now it was time for his reward. Both Nora and Bob knew it would be a scene they would enjoy again, but now it was time for just plain lust.

The place on the erotic map where the paths of Tantric sex and BDSM intersect was once as lonely and obscure as a tiny no-pub town in the Australian outback. Not only was it nearly impossible to find, hardly anyone looked for it because no one believed it actually existed. In recent years things have changed dramatically. Some Tantric practitioners are now combining elements of power and intense sensation with traditional Tantra in a variation sometimes referred to as Dark Tantra. Longtime BDSM players are coming out of the closet as spiritual seekers and creating scenes intentionally designed to welcome god/goddess/universe/all-that-is into the dungeon. Communities in which kinky people and Tantrikas meet, mingle, and play together are growing and now can be found all over the world.

It’s not surprising that it’s taken a while for these two communities to find common ground. From a stylistic point of view, it would appear that people wearing leather and wielding floggers would have little or nothing in common with people wearing sarongs and stroking each other with feathers. But like most everything else in life, outward appearances and preconceived notions have little or nothing to do with the essence of an erotic or spiritual art form.

Tantric sex and BDSM have much more in common than may seem apparent at first glance. Both are erotic arts of consciousness. Both arts add intensity to life and sex. Both embrace a wide variety of powerful consensual practices. Both Tantric and BDSM rituals are about raising erotic energy. Both practices involve conscious giving and receiving. Both encourage risks—either physical or emotional. Both erotic arts encourage personal freedom, individuality, and imagination. And both produce trance states, and transcendental, transformational experiences.

Why has it taken this long for BDSM aficionados and Tantrikas to discover each other’s charms? One of the stumbling blocks has been the lack of a common language. The two communities have traditionally described what, how, and why they do what they do in language that has sounded off-putting, inflated, or obscure to anyone not in the club. One of the primary missions of my work has been to translate words, actions, and intentions across sexual boundaries. So before we go any further, let’s define some terms.

Tantra is the ancient Eastern spiritual practice that embraces sex as a legitimate and effective path to enlightenment. Tantra is an embodied spiritual practice. It embraces all elements and aspects of life—including but not limited to sex—as a way to experience direct knowledge of the divine. Notice I call it a spiritual practice, not a religion. Religions tend to approach spirituality in a controlled, ordered manner. There is usually a hierarchical organization and an emphasis upon a particular set of rules. If you follow the rules, you are promised a predictable goal of salvation or enlightenment or peace.

Can you have a wild, ecstatic, spiritual experience within a religion? Absolutely. You can have a wild, ecstatic, spiritual experience within the context of almost anything. For many of us, however, spiritual experiences are easier to create within the context of a spiritual practice. A spiritual practice is just that: practice. You consistently practice a way of being and seeing in the world that invites the unknown, the unexpected, and the chaotic. Spiritual practices encourage you to step out of your ordinary reality into a realm of infinite possibilities where you are likely to find that there is no separation between you and everything else, including god—goddess—universe—divine—all-that-is.

Tantrically speaking, being conscious simply means that you are in a relaxed state of awareness with a quiet mind able to focus gently and easily on what’s going on in the present moment. It’s mindfulness. It’s putting your attention on your intentions. To be conscious is to go totally into whatever you are doing—whatever it is you are experiencing. When I talk about conscious sex, I am talking about a sexual encounter in which you are focused on each successive moment of your journey through pleasure. It is not a goal-oriented activity. In Tantric sex not even orgasm can be a goal, because there is no goal. Orgasms certainly do happen—all the time, in fact. But you are likely to find other erotic moments as exquisite as orgasm on this goal-free path.