Tristan Taormino - The Ultimate Guide to Kink - BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge

Continue wrapping from the knees down to the feet. If you like, wrap the feet.

Lay her in the middle of the sheet or towel.

Slip the ice cubes between the layers of cling wrap alongside the nipples, genitals, and other fun places.

Drip candle wax on the cling wrap in fun places.

Alternate the ice and wax for fun.

Place the vibrator or sex toy where she’d like it. Use the cling wrap to keep it in place.

Surprise her with her favorite sensual foods while the ice, heat, and vibration is driving her wild.

Tear away the wrap to get to the sexy bits.

Enjoy!

Give aftercare decadently.

Like so many forms of sex, bondage can be enjoyed alone. But no one is there to fix a mistake or rescue you from a mishap, so risks are increased. The solo bondage player needs to be careful to have a way out. In case of any emergency, make sure you can move one hand easily to free yourself, and have your oops tools nearby.

Bondage has its own risks. As I tell my rope bondage students, “Dead bottom, bad bondage. Bad top, no biscuit!” Always heed the advice of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy : “Don’t panic.” With common sense and a little planning, most disasters and bad scenes can be avoided. The bottom is responsible for alerting the top of early signs of any possible problems. Bottoms can be reluctant about this. I know some of you worry that as a bottom you should just let the top do their top thing, but trust me, a good top wants to know. Think of it this way: if you can let your top know of a possible issue, they will make the necessary adjustments and the pleasure can last longer for both of you. Not telling them is not nice and considered poor SM etiquette.

Boredom is a scene killer. Tops who spend too much time fidgeting with the gear bore many bottoms to death. Bottoms who focus on just their own pleasure bore the motivation right out of most tops.

Hot spots, rope burns, blisters, and chafing really distract from the fun. Prevent rope burns by moisturizing the skin, and exchange your synthetic rope for soft cotton and other natural ropes. For metal, wood, and other toys with sharp edges, wrap tender spots with sports wrap or self-clinging bandages or pad the irritating parts of the toy.

When the restraints are too tight and the bottom’s skin color changes to unnatural shades of red, purple, yellow, white, or blue, or the skin becomes unnaturally cold and clammy, there’s likely a serious problem with circulation. Don’t wait. Immediately loosen the restraint, adjust the bondage, or change position.

It’s the “pins and needles” sensation. There’s no way for the top to know this is happening, as there’s no color or temperature change to the skin. The only way they’ll know is if the bottom reports it. Bottoms—report it! Don’t ignore slight sensations of tingling. It could be an early warning of a serious problem. I almost lost the use of my left hand when I was first exploring bondage because I disregarded a persistent tingling during a lovely long scene.

Allergies (latex, nickel and other metals, natural rope fiber, leather treatments, etc.)

If you know you’re allergic to certain materials, avoid them. If you develop a rash, itchiness, swelling, or trouble breathing every time you play with a certain toy, you’re likely allergic to the material. Some medications can cause allergy-like reactions to certain materials as well. Consult your physician or get tested for allergies. Let your play partner know of any allergies or other conditions.

The ability to breathe is really popular. Everyone loves to do it on a regular, ongoing basis and it’s key to not dying in bondage. Make sure to keep the bottom’s breathing unobstructed. If he’s congested, don’t use a big ball gag or close off his mouth in any way. Don’t use a hood that closes his nose and then insert a gag, push his face into a pillow, or shove a large hard body part down his throat. Don’t wrap the entire head with cling wrap, obstructing both the nose and mouth. Yes, these examples are all from true bondage accidents.

Along with not obstructing the bottom’s ability to breathe, take care not to damage the larynx. Don’t tighten the bondage around the neck in such a way that the front of the neck is crushed. Don’t use a dog collar and pull the leash hard from behind. Don’t use the neck as one end of a predicament hog-tie against the feet. Again, these instances were all reported in real bondage tragedies.

Ingredients

• locking collar

• leash

• leather wrist restraints with connector clips

• leather ankle restraints with connector clips

• your favorite sex toys, lube, safer sex supplies, and whatever else you enjoy in your usual sex life

Action

Read Chapter 3, How to Train Your Sex Slave, by Laura Antoniou, and Chapter 11, Stop, Drop, and Role! Erotic Role Playing, by Mollena Williams. Study up on these practices.

Install bondage attachment points on your bed in advance.

Agree that the collar symbolizes belonging and service. You may choose to agree to special names during this scene.

With gravity and adoration, put the collar on the bottom and lock it. Put the key within reach in a safe place.

Apply wrist restraints and connect them.

Apply ankle restraints and connect them.

Rotate the D-ring of the collar to the front of the neck and clip the leash on.

Commence sexing!

Use the leash to direct the bottom where you want him.

When you want him in a new position, change the restraint clip arrangement. Unclip all the restraints and connect them to the bed attachment points. Faceup or facedown, which would you prefer?

Sex some more.

Give aftercare deliciously.

Duct tape and similarly serious adhesive tape are nasty on the skin. They can rip off skin and hair. Some people even get rashes.

A few years ago a hot bondage scene ended in death when the top stepped away to let the bottom enjoy a mummified sensory deprivation scene. Something went wrong while he was gone, and when the top returned he wasn’t able to revive his lover. If the bottom can’t move well enough to correct problems, don’t leave them unattended. If you want to make the bottom think you left the room, that’s easy: blindfold the bottom, walk loudly out of the room with your shoes on, remove the shoes, and then tiptoe back into the room.

I’ll admit to this one. They’re just not as sturdy as they look. It’s really hard to find wood glue at 9 a.m., before checkout.

Bottoms, this one’s for you. Go to the bathroom before the fun starts!

What’s most important is that you and your partners have fun. As I say in my classes, “Don’t kill ’em, don’t harm ’em, don’t bore ’em.” As long as the mutual communication is clear and basic safety is attended to, don’t stress out about doing something wrong. Bondage is a form of pleasure art where, once you know the basics, the creative potential is endless. Now that you’re armed with information and ideas, go forth, explore, and have fabulous bondage sex!