Tristan Taormino - The Ultimate Guide to Kink - BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge

No need to spend a fortune! DIY bondage is one of my favorite hobbies. Look around your home, in hardware stores, or even dollar stores and you’ll be in bondage heaven. Here are just a few ideas:

Long scarves are fantastic as blindfolds, wrist bonds, and ties to bedposts. They even make a great dildo or vibrator harness. They’re easy to wash after play. Bathrobe belts and stockings are great, too. If you want to keep it green, recycle your old sheets by cutting them into bondage strips. Here are some scarf ties that we do in my Wrapped for Pleasure class:

Equipment

Directions

1. Bring the wrists together, separated by about an inch. Drape the scarf across the wrists. The midpoint should be between the wrists, with both ends hanging down.

2. Bring the two ends together below the wrists, and cross them with a twist, bringing the scarf parallel to the wrists. This is not a knot, just a twist.

3. Bring the two ends up, one between the elbows and the other between the hands.

4. Tie the two ends together in a simple overhand knot, just as you would to start your shoelace tie. If the scarf is slippery, you can tie one more overhand knot.

Ingredients

• you and your lover

• 2 long scarves

• your favorite sex toys, lube, safer sex supplies, and whatever else you enjoy in your usual sex life

Action

Bring the scarf out long before the sex fun starts. Use it to tease and suggest all the fun both of you will have later.

The top gently blindfolds the bottom. Make out!

Tie the wrists together above her head, behind her head, or behind her back. It’s up to you and how you like to shag.

Shag! Slow and sweet or rough and wild, it’s up to the two of you.

Give aftercare lovingly.

I invented this harness because I got tired of ill-fitting commercial harnesses. This is a fantastic harness—it’s secure, easy to clean, fits anyone, and travels well. Men can use it to sport a second cock above the one that they grew themselves!

Equipment

1 favorite dildo with flanged base; 2 scarves (suggested length: multiply hip measurement x 1.5. Example: 40” hips x 1.5 = 60” scarves)

Directions

1. Take Scarf A and make a loose overhand knot (which I refer to below as “That Knot”) at its midpoint.

Take Scarf B, place through That Knot, bisecting Scarf B.

Scarf B will now have two hanging ends of equal length.

Insert the dildo into That Knot.

Tighten Scarf A and That Knot firmly around the dildo.

2. Tie Scarf A snug and low around the hips. It’s easiest to tie this in front, with the dildo at the back, and then turn the scarf around. Very important that it be snug.

Place the dildo in the desired position on the body.

3. Take one end of Scarf B, hanging from the dildo, and pass it between the legs and under the butt cheeks, ending near the hip bone. Tie onto Scarf A near the hip bone.

Repeat with the remaining end of Scarf B.

Test the harness all over for security.

Equipment

2 short scarves and 1 long scarf

Directions

1. Take one short scarf and tie a band around one thigh, just above the knee. This should be snug but not tight enough to hamper circulation.

Do the same with the second short scarf on the other thigh.

Tie one end of the long scarf onto the right thigh band.

Have the bottom sit on her butt with her legs out and knees up. Have the bottom hug her knees. This is important for a fabulous shagging position and comfort later.

Lead the free part of the long scarf from the right thigh over the right shoulder and pass under the left arm.

Pass the long scarf under the left thigh band and pull through fully.

Lead the remaining length of the long scarf from the left thigh over the left shoulder and pass under the right arm.

Pass the long scarf end under the right thigh band and tie off with a simple overhand knot.

The long scarf should make an “X” pattern on her back.

2. Have her let go of her knees. Gently lean her back. Her legs will be held up and apart by the scarves.

You can easily move her back and forth and up and down by holding the long scarf where it attaches to the thigh bands.

Add the wrist tie to this and you have a fun and easy sex bondage setup.

Other Items

• Sleep masks: Best stealth blindfold that you can take anywhere.

• Leather belts: Strong leather belts with many holes to adjust positions are the best.

• Cling wrap: Ordinary plastic wrap used in the kitchen makes for fantastically easy and fast bondage. No knots or buckles needed. Use safety scissors to remove it quickly or to create holes when you want access to your lover’s good bits. Slip a vibrator or an ice cube between layers of plastic wrap, just on the right spot, and drive him crazy.

Leather fetters are truly classic bondage toys and they’re fodder for many people’s fantasies. Leather is supple and friendly on the skin, and the texture or scent alone can send some people into a state of intense arousal. Many sex shops have a kinky section with leather restraints. Quality varies widely. If at all possible, inspect the items personally. I like padded restraints, as they make it easy for a long night of passion. Look for the following qualities:

• Sewn well with strong thread

• Leather edges that are finished smoothly or tucked under the stitching

• Properly dyed so the dye doesn’t rub off and doesn’t smell funny—strange smells are often signs of an improper or toxic dying process

• No rough edges

• No unfinished or sharp edges on any metal hardware attached to the restraints

• Correct size for the person it’s intended for

Tug the fetters and pull on all the parts as if in actual use, especially the connecting hardware. See if all the parts hold together.

Wrist and ankle restraints are the most common, but there’s a vast range beyond that, from blindfolds, thigh cuffs, arm restraints, and hoods to full body bags that have access points for the naughty bits. I highly recommend shopping at the Stockroom and Mr. S Leather for quality restraints.

To start with, get wrist and ankle cuffs that separate easily with simple clips. This makes it a cinch to change positions. Use a short length of chain or even a scarf to separate the limbs and attach them to the bed frame for a sexy spread-eagle sex tie!

Bondage equals handcuffs, right? Wrong! I love playing naughty cop games in the bedroom as much as anyone else, and I do have a few pairs of handcuffs. They’re fabulous for the visual effects, but sadly they’re not so good for actual bondage, especially if you’re just starting out. They’re hard on the skin and body, often causing cuts, bruises, and nasty pinches, or worse. Novelty-store handcuffs are worse, as they keep tightening down and have nasty rough edges. A few great uses for metal handcuffs: put them in a box with a card as an invite; wear them as a prop; use them as connectors for leather restraints. And if you’re feeling especially perverse, a pair of handcuffs can serve as an interesting cock ring.