Gustav Schlling: Memoirs of a Baron

Lilla let her arms drop, her chemise fell off, and I lost all consciousness.

When I came to my senses again, I saw…

My readers must believe that I had been truly unconscious, for how long I cannot tell.

As I said, when I had regained my senses, I saw my father resting upon his bed. His right hand was very busy. I was curious, pushed against the door, and to my great satisfaction it quietly opened.

I saw…

Lilla lying upon her back, both thighs lifted, and my father's hand playing around with a certain part.

He raised himself, covered Lilla, and I saw nothing but the rising and falling of his behind and Lilla's white leg over his left hip.

What is that?

Their breathing became louder. I hearkened. A soft moaning followed, it became stronger and disappeared with a loud, “Aah!..”

What is that?

The Baron now reclined again on his own side of the bed. Lilla kissed him and pulled the cover over both of them.

It can easily be guessed that my overheated imagination did not allow me too much rest.

I will have to remember that, I told myself every time I switched position from one side to the other while I still hoped in vain to get some sleep.

Thus far I had had access to various and sundry company and therefore I had not very often visited the gatherings of my school companions. This is why I had only very vague notions about the differences between the two sexes.

But now my imagination painted many pictures and I felt a burning desire for closer investigation to enlighten myself as to what exactly made the difference.

I returned to the city. I boarded with a young merchant who had married a very pleasant person about a year ago. A girl of about fourteen years of age served my young hostess and also took care of my small domestic affairs. Lieschen was going to be the one to clear up my doubts; the only question was, how was I going to explain this to her?

Lieschen was a little brunette, bright and lively and also extremely talkative, especially when she knew that her mistress was not around. And finally that long desired day arrived when Madame Reibhand was making a visit somewhere. Lieschen brought me my coffee. I took her by the hand and looked her straight in the face.

Lieschen: “Why are you looking at me that way?”

Me: “I care so much for you, Lieschen.”

Lieschen: “Well, I like that very much.”

Me: “Do you care for me a little bit, too?”

Lieschen: “And why not?”

“Me: “Don't you want to give me a little kiss?”

Lieschen: “Aha! No, not that!”

Me: “And why not?”

Lieschen: “Quiet, milord. The cook could hear us. You just wait. She is going to leave soon and then I will tell you something.”

Lieschen let herself readily be kissed and then she skipped away. I won that game, I thought, and dreamed wild fantasies about what I was going to do next.

I stretched out upon my bed. Lieschen entered, I pulled her next to me, threw my arm around her neck and one, two, three kisses which I pressed upon her pretty mouth under idle protestations made my lungs distend so much that I could barely breathe.

Lieschen: “What is wrong with you?”

Me: “Oh, Lieschen, I love you so much.”

Lieschen: “Me? And not Madame?”

Me: “But why Madame?”

Lieschen: “Oh, I just thought so because she likes you very much, and she always asks how you are doing. She never stops talking about you.”

Me: “Don't talk that way, Lieschen! Would you want to do something to please me?”

Lieschen: “I will be glad to.”

I let my hand slide under her skirt; she pushed me back.

Lieschen: “What do you think you are doing?”

Me: “I thought you wanted to do something to please me.”

Lieschen: “Well, yes… but… what do you want?”

She looked at me, lost all her color and seemed to guess my intentions. I repeated my first try and was again pushed away. But now desire overpowered me. I encircled the girl with my arms, stretched her under me upon the bed and furiously covered her with my kisses. The poor little girl gasped for breath, she wanted to say something but she could not. I succeeded in getting my hand under her skirt and, sliding over the round firm thighs, I searched for that spot which my father's hand had fondled on Lilla and here, too, I met with success. But when my fingers felt a soft fleece and went astray in a narrow slit, a certain violence overtook my entire body, something flowed out of my prick which I had not yet experienced, my eyes lost the power of perception, I drowned in a voluptuous vertigo and experienced an indescribable pleasure.

Lieschen had wound herself out of my embrace and looked at me.

Lieschen: “What is wrong with you?”

Me: “Lieschen, what indescribable pleasure!”

I firmly embraced her again.

Me: “Once more, Lieschen, let me once more touch the most beautiful spot of your beautiful body, please, once more.”

I pleaded so endearingly and with so many kisses that Lieschen visibly weakened and allowed my hand its free play. The little slit had become moist, my finger explored and found an orifice; it penetrated and Lieschen's breathing became short. She threw both arms around me, pressed me close against her, closed her eyes, and her breath escaped her mouth in little gasps. A warm moisture covered my hand.

“Now, Lieschen?”

She wriggled out of my arms and fled away.

From then on I begged Lieschen continually to take me up to her room because she did not dare to come to me out of fear that Madame, who slept in the adjoining room, might call her. But I was never successful. “What I allow you to do is more than enough,” She said. Indeed it was an exceptional pleasure that my hand enjoyed at every liberty; except I had seen Lilla nude at my father's side and in a quite particular position at that.

Mister Reibhand was at the market. It was eleven o'clock, and I had been in bed for an hour, when somebody opened the door, walked up to my bed and motioned me to come along. It was Lieschen. I jumped out of my bed and followed her in a hurry.

“Come along,” she said to me, “and see for yourself if my mistress is more beautiful than Lilla about whom you have told me.”

We came to her bedroom. She led me to a door which had a small hole in it that definitely was supposed to serve another purpose than spying upon Madame.

Madame sat in her room, leaning backwards in an easy chair. She had her thighs spread apart, her feet rested upon two stools and she was playing with her love grotto. Finally she entered it with one finger, rubbed slowly back and forth, then quickened and soon she moved so fast, her behind continually going up and down, that it became more of a quivering than a back-and-forth motion. Fire burned throughout me and I was hot all over.

Lieschen was listening at the keyhole. I grabbed for her and she, too, was more hot than warm. My exploring hand found her finger in her little love temple.

Lieschen's bed was only two steps away; the night was clear enough to prevent stumbling; I embraced her, carried her to the bed, pushed her thighs apart and laid myself down between them. No resistance. I took off my shirt, pressed my girl close to my chest, trying to hit Lieschen's grotto with my prick, and I was now too low, then too high and always wrong. The touching and moving drove me out of my senses. I panted, puffed and worked and the old boards of Lieschen's bed, not used to such a trembling, collapsed and we fell through. But nothing could deter me and bring me back to my senses. I was laboring hard when suddenly Madame, who had heard the noise, entered the room, dressed in her nightgown and a lamp in her hand. The sudden shining light scared me and I fled away, but in my excitement I missed the door, jumped through the living room into Madame's bedroom and lost my bearing in the darkness. I tapped along the wall and could not find my way out.