Array Seka - Inside Seka

As strange as it may sound to some, I’m proud of what I’ve done. I did a really good job, or at least the best I was capable of. I was paid decently for it — at least compared to others in the same industry. I think I’ve paved the way for other women in the business. I opened the doors a little wider for other women to make bigger and better inroads into what was once a male-dominated business. I didn’t take shit from any man in the industry, and I encouraged the other girls to do the same. When you put yourself in a mindset that you can take it or leave it, the worst that people can hang over your head has been taken away from them. You gain the upper hand.

I was also always honest with my family about what I did for a living. I never made up excuses or placed the blame on anyone but myself. I chose what I did, I did it for money, I liked it, and if they couldn’t handle it, that was their problem. They didn’t have to hear it from the neighbors, or see me on TV and be shocked by it.

I remember when my grandmother was still alive in the eighties and I had one of my calendars with me. She said, “Honey, what is that?”

I said, “Grandma, it’s a calendar of me and most of the pictures are of me nude.”

She said, “I’m sure it’s very nice, but that’s not something I need to see.” If only the rest of the world were so accepting.

As miniscule as we are as human beings, I feel we should slow down enough to actually know someone before judging them, and to be kinder to one another. Being happy, loving, and non-judgmental relieves a lot of stress from your life.

Would I recommend the adult industry for everyone? Absolutely not. I can live to one hundred and the stigma will never go away. As proud as I am of myself as a person, it still sucks to be treated shabbily by ignorant haters. I have feelings, too. If you think you can do a few movies, make some quick cash, and get out, you’re wrong. It’ll never go away. And that’s something most people don’t think about before they jump in.

I wrote this book to clear up some things about my life: who I was and was not married to. Ken is number one in that field, but I’m shocked to see how many others I’ve been linked to. The Internet amazes me. So much information, so much of it wrong. There’re other things in my life that were misconstrued and far from the truth. I also thought it would be interesting, for a change, to present an adult star who wasn’t a teen runaway, wasn’t sexually abused as a child, isn’t desperate for mainstream crossover success, and doesn’t straight out lie and whitewash what she did.

Adult film stars don’t have horns. We’re not going to come and corrupt you. I’m a normal, everyday person who happens to have chosen a different path. But no matter what I do with my life, I will always be Seka. That won’t go away. And while I like my quiet life in the ’burbs, I still enjoy meeting fans and hanging out with colorful and creative people. At my husband’s recent sixtieth birthday party, I had industry people like Cousin Stevie mixed with schoolteachers, writers, retirees, and friends and neighbors from every walk of life. I enjoy that. I don’t want to be bored.

As far as dollars and cents, like anyone else I’d like to be comfortable. I don’t need to be rich. I’ll keep improving my site, and one day hopefully find a nice little beach cottage and live out the rest of my life with my husband.

I’ve had plenty of tragedy, but others have had worse. Just because I had some bad things happen in my life doesn’t mean I need to keep it with me at all times. I’ve tried to let it mold me and make me a better and stronger human being because of it.

In my life, I have had many people judge me because I had sex for money on screen. But I am who I am. And I know who I am. I did what I did willfully and with forethought. Regardless of what you think of me, when you see me walking down that street I will always have my head held high.

Wow! When Seka called and asked me to write something for her book the first thing that came to mind was not how many others she asked before she settled on me. No, the first thing that came to mind was, “Seka is calling ME!” There’s nothing that affirms your standing as a man, nothing that gives a boost to your masculinity and your testosterone, than having your wife call out from the next room, “Bobby, telephone. It’s Seka.”

So I didn’t really care if I was the first person she asked or the hundredth — Seka was calling. And I’d better say some extremely nice things about her since I’m also writing a book and might need her help. Wonder if she gets all excited when her husband yells out from the next room, “Honey, that idiot Slayton on line two.” I’m thinking no.

Seka and I go way back. Long before I knew her as a close friend, I knew her from the very first porn tape I ever bought, back when Betamax video machines first came out (God, I’m so old. But there was a time when Betamax was the new Blu-Ray). The only erotica I’d seen up to that point was in some dimly lit, sticky little booth near Times Square, furiously feeding my hard-earned newspaper route quarters into a battered slot, which sounds like a perfect metaphor for the entire porn industry. But buying the tape meant I could now be home in my bed with not just Seka but dozens of new girlfriends. But Seka was the first. A boy’s first porno is right up there with losing his cherry — it’s something you never forget.

And I’ve never forgotten meeting Seka for the first time. In my early standup days I had a joke about my new “Seka (not Seiko) watch — and you should see her at a quarter to three!” (It’s all in the telling. Believe me, LIVE that joke used to kill.) I’m working a club in San Francisco and my friend, Paul Rosenberg, shows up with a hot blonde on his arm. And she looks like Seka. And I’d comp him thinking it just might be Seka. I’d play SF every few months and Paul would always have a new hot blonde and he’d always get comped ’cause he’d always say he was there with Seka. It became a running gag between us because except for that first one, NONE of them actually looked like Seka, although they were always smokin’! Anyway, one overbooked Saturday night at a tiny, misshapen club (The Gollum of nightclubs) the guy at the door comes into my dressing room to tell me, “They don’t have tickets but Paul Rosenberg is here with Seka.” This is a sold-out show, he hadn’t called first, and now he wants a freebie and a table near the stage. The owner was already worried about a visit from the fire marshal so I told the doorman to tell Paul I couldn’t get him in. He’s back a few minutes later with, “Your friend doesn’t think you understand. He’s with Seka.” Now I was pissed. For months Paul had been getting in free; tonight I just couldn’t do it so I go through the crowd as they were entering to tell Rosenberg to stop fucking showing up at the last minute expecting to get in. And he’s there at the front door — WITH SEKA! In the flesh! That motherfucker!!