Array Seka - Inside Seka

So we started looking around for a home. I loved the idea of being in a house as opposed to a condo because there was more space. I loved to garden. One day, he invited me on a business trip to Kansas City. He had lived there before and was interested in us moving there. It was cheaper, and a peaceful place to live.

I also figured the best way for our relationship to stand a chance was to not be in Chicago. There, it would be too easy to just say, “Screw it; I don’t want to deal with this anymore,” if we ever had a fight. In Kansas City, I’d have to work on this relationship. I knew I really needed a change anyway. It was time to take a large step in my life. A leap of faith if you will. So I said OK to KC.

A real estate agent showed us thirteen different houses that day. I guess thirteen isn’t unlucky because I found one I really liked. It wasn’t a palace, but it was spacious enough and at the same time, “homey.” We decided right then and there we wanted it.

My friends decided to throw me a combination fifty-first birthday and going-away party. It was exciting and kind of sad at the same time because I knew I was leaving my very best friends. I had been in Chicago literally a quarter century and these people had been there for me through thick and thin.

I called everybody I knew. Ron Rapoport is a sports writer for the Chicago Sun-Times. I had been friends with him for years. He’s an absolutely delightful person to be around. Then there were all my buddies I had gone boating with out on Lake Michigan, like “Boat Bob,” and “The Two Ricks — No Waiting.” One was a fireman and the other a cop and both are gorgeous. We used to joke that if you couldn’t have one you could have the other, although in reality it was all just platonic. There were plenty of firemen and police there like Dave and yet another Rick. Frank Rita and the whole Topo Gigio restaurant clan showed up. I had worked for Cheryl at the Crazy Horse gentleman’s club and she was just a great person. A tiny little Jewish girl, she was with her husband Mickey, who towered over her. I was happy my friend Debbie Ippolito was there. Although I only knew her a decade or so, she had changed my life by pushing me hard to start my website. My close friends Steve and Harriet and the whole pool crowd from our Sandburg Village condo were there, as well as Jack and Charlotte Brandenburg and Jerry and Julie Ranalli, both wonderful couples. And then there was the ever-colorful Ronnie Webber. He’s a gay man who always lights up a room. He’s very well built and handsome. I’ve never seen him wear a shirt where you couldn’t see his ripped muscles. The life of the party. Interestingly enough, he’s always with a beautiful girl. He’s a hairdresser who just plain likes pretty women.

The party was at a lovely Italian restaurant named Tutto Orsi, where I was bartending at the time. Our party was at the jam-packed bar where we were squeezed in like sardines. There had to be fifty or sixty people in attendance.

And then there was Agnes, my best friend.

In spite of any differences we may have had, leaving her was almost like losing someone to death or illness. We wouldn’t see each other as much and even though we could talk on the phone, it wouldn’t be the same as seeing her all the time. We were both very sad.

At one point the owner of the restaurant, Louie, came over and said that Ronnie and his girl had to calm down. Although he was gay, they were dancing so seductively it was scandalous. She was exposing her breasts and he was having fun with the whole thing and had his hand up her skirt and would bend her over the bar like he was humping her. But that was just Ronnie.

Bobby Salone was playing piano and different people would go to the mike and either sing a song or make a toast in my honor. One by one they told me they didn’t want to see me go, but that they were happy I found someone to share my life with and that we were moving forward. There was toast after toast, all heartfelt. These were my true friends and it was overwhelming hearing them tell me how much love and respect they had. We were always there for one another.

I would go to Topo Gigio for dinner or drinks and if someone needed an autographed picture or some piece of memorabilia, I’d never take money for it. Or if there was a charity event, I’d always volunteer my services as a celebrity bartender. If there was ever an emergency, they could call me at 3 a.m. and I’d be there or vice-versa. There was never a question on either side about the other party’s devotion.

I was so very sad leaving these wonderful people, yet I knew I hadn’t lost them. And I was excited about starting this new chapter in my life. Nonetheless, I was crying like a baby throughout the evening.

Most people in the world can count their true friends on less than one hand. I felt very blessed and fortunate because I was like that Indian goddess with all those hands. That’s how many I’d need to count my friends.

A few days later it was really time to go. My apartment was empty and a moving company had everything ready. My maintenance men Steve and Reggie, who I’d become good friends with living in that building for twenty-five years, were sitting with Carl and I, and everyone was crying. I felt like I was leaving my family.

Getting in the car, they were literally following it as we pulled out of the driveway, waving and crying. I looked back at them and I was crying so hard I was having trouble driving. Turning the comer, I could no longer see them. Suddenly, it felt like there was this void. An emptiness.

But I was about to go on a whole new adventure. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be scared. As the old blues song goes, “Kansas City, Kansas City, here I come…”

It was no surprise that Kansas City was dull compared to Chicago. Hell, I couldn’t even find good pizza there. And it was difficult because I didn’t have any friends and missed the ones I had in Chicago. Meanwhile, my friends back home were making bets on how long it would be until I’d come back.

I was concerned the new neighbors would not accept me because of my adult film career. We were in the middle of the Baptist belt. Some of the busy bodies in the neighborhood, who had no idea who I was, gossiped about a gay couple in the neighborhood. If that was shocking to them, imagine what they would have thought of me.

Using my own skewed logic, I sought out the gay couple, Joe and Dan, and they became my first Kansas City pals. Incredibly, they told me they don’t get involved in Halloween because they fear if anything happens to a kid they’ll be blamed. Sick.

Eventually, I told them about my past and my own fears about the neighbors. But it’s all managed to work out. Carl and I became fast friends with the elderly couple next door to us. They’re downright amused to be living next to an old porn queen who spends much of her day gardening. In fact, it’s great having neighbors you actually know rather than just pass in a high-rise hallway like back in Chicago.

About a year after settling in, Carl asked me to lunch one day. He dumped a lot of money into my website to help it grow and said to me, “I need to talk to you about something.” I assumed it was business related and was very apprehensive. We went to a little Italian restaurant off the beaten path. He suddenly grabbed my hand and said, “I have a little business proposition I want to talk to you about.” The way he said it made me even more nervous. I had never seen him like this.

“Okay, let’s get on with it,” I said nervously.

Carl looked at me oddly for what felt like the longest time. When he started to open his mouth, I wondered what bombshell he was going to hit me with. And then he said it.