Array Seka - Inside Seka

“Do you want to go get married?”

I went numb. It was the last thing I expected. I hadn’t even noticed there was a waiter standing there with a grin on his face from ear to ear. I turned to him and said, “Bring me a double vodka on the rocks with a lime.”

Carl said, “Make that two.”

As soon as the waiter walked away, I looked at the love of my life and said, “Absolutely. I would love to.”

The numbness started to fade and I realized what just happened.

I felt elated, like I was in the middle of the most delightful dream. I had wanted to marry him for the longest time. To finally meet someone who was faithful and honest and felt as strongly about me as I did him was the greatest feeling in the world. It was like a high no drug had ever given me.

As we sat there, he immediately started making plans. “First, we have to get rings, and then we’re going to get married on August 23rd,” he announced. “Do you want to go to the Grand Caymans? We can get married on the beach,” he continued excitedly. Evidently he had been thinking about this for a long time. It gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling because he was that into it. It was even better than him being on bended knee.

We had our lunch and several cocktails. I think I had more than him, which was unusual and he found it very amusing. “You’re in shock,” he said.

“You’re probably right,” I laughed.

When we got home he was like a little kid as he busted out all the wedding materials. I thought, “Wow, the man sure has a romantic side.”

Then the process started. I couldn’t find my birth certificate and we had to wait on the state of Virginia. I also had to dig up my last divorce papers from 1982.

There was a jewelry show in Kansas City. We looked and looked for half a day and came upon this one booth where the gentleman had made some incredibly gorgeous wedding bands. The one I loved most did not have a center stone in it, so he pulled out loose diamonds. I picked one and Carl said, “That’s not big enough.” He chose a gorgeous center stone and it turned into one big honkin’ ring. Then I picked out a band for him.

When the jeweler put a gadget on my finger to get my ring size, I realized I would be wearing this ring forever. I got very hot, started sweating, and needed a drink of water. The numbness and shock were starting to fade and reality was setting in. This wasn’t a dress rehearsal; this was for real.

Seven Mile Beach in the Grand Cayman Islands is beautiful, pristine, and romantic, but very, very hot. We were going to hold the ceremony at noon, but moved it to 11 a.m. to beat the worst of the heat, if only slightly.

I wrote something especially for the ceremony. I had actually first found it on a card, but it was just so perfect I borrowed it for my wedding and had the words printed underneath his favorite picture of me. It was rolled up sort of like a scroll with a really pretty ribbon to be put around it. Reading it over and over, I figured it would be easy to recite at the actual ceremony. Oddly, I wasn’t worried at all. I figured it would all go off without a hitch. But at the last minute I couldn’t find my ribbon and was going crazy. Frantic, I had the concierge search for a ribbon, which he finally dug up close to the start of our ceremony.

We were in the lobby of the most gorgeous hotel I had ever seen in my life. It had twenty-foot ceilings with the most elegant island decor. There were hundreds of fresh tropical flowers. And the service was exquisite. I felt like a queen.

All of our guests gathered in the lobby and were drinking mimosas and waiting for us to arrive. My friend Agnes and I went upstairs to meet everyone. Our closest friends were all there and everyone looked so damn happy.

I wasn’t nervous yet, although I kept anticipating I would become shaky. What woman wouldn’t be nervous at her wedding? It wasn’t like I had done it a hundred times. Well, a few, but none as ornately or as meaningful as this. It was strange in that way. This was my third marriage, yet it felt like my first and only. The other two were unplanned afterthoughts to men I never dreamed of spending the rest of my life with. My non-marriages in between, to people like Ken and Jim, may have lasted longer, but were unhealthy and lacking in true, romantic love from the start and throughout. Sometimes we spend time with a partner simply because it beats being alone. But here I was, over fifty, and for the first time in my life, it was the real thing.

Downing a glass of champagne, I asked Agnes to grab me a couple bottles of water to take with. The company hired to marry us picked us up to bring us to the beach location. We got into this little van. It wasn’t a fabulous limousine or grandiose in any way, but none of that mattered. This wasn’t for show; it was for life.

When we got there and stepped out it was already really hot and muggy. I started to sweat profusely, and it wasn’t because of the heat. It all finally hit me. I was shaking.

The sand was sugary white and the smell of fresh ocean water was overwhelming. I took my shoes off and Carl did the same. We stood on the beach and there was pretty music playing softly in the background on a little boom box. We had a video guy there and while everyone was comfortably dressed and casual in shorts with tropical colors, it still felt very romantic. I had on a cream-colored long ankle-length silky skirt and a gold faux turtleneck short-sleeve little tank top with gold pearls. Not exactly a traditional outfit. Then again, nothing I have ever done is traditional.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Carl look more handsome than that day. He had a great tan and white linen pants with a short sleeve Cuban-style shirt. Instead of having flowers, we both had a Hawaiian lei. The minister was from the Grand Caymans and had long trousers and a really colorful Hawaiian shirt. But as casual as everyone was dressed, it still felt very serious to me. I had no doubts about Carl. But I still had the sweaty jitters.

They sprinkled lavender and dark pink orchids all over for us to stand. I guess that was supposed to be the altar. In the backdrop was the most aqua pristine ocean I had ever seen.

Carl grabbed my hand and it felt like he was holding on for dear life. I started to read what I’d written to Carl and was crying the entire time. I literally couldn’t get through it. It was just so hard to read. Nobody could even hear me because I was talking so quietly.

“It’s amazing what merely being near you does to me. It’s something that goes beyond my control or understanding. Just your physical closeness triggers something primitive deep inside of me. It makes me want — no, need — to touch you, breath you in, become a part of your warmth. I think I can live forever in the shelter of your arms, finding sustenance in your embrace, happiness in smoldering kisses that impress more than words ever could. It’s such a miracle that out of the whole universe you and I found each other. You are the lover I never believed could exist. The one person who could make my fantasies come true. The one person I could love forever.”

When it was all over Carl and I took a walk down the beach. He said, “You were having a really hard time with it. Can you believe we’re actually married?” I was even shaking when I signed the marriage license.

After all the cake and champagne we went back to the Ritz Carlton swimming pool for what I’d loosely call a reception. We basically decided to just go back to the pool and get hammered. We were all hanging out, eating, and splashing around in the water.

Our guests decided they’d take us out for our wedding dinner. Two brought two more of their friends and they joined us for the evening festivities. But one of these strange women began hitting on Carl the whole time. He started to look uncomfortable. I mentioned it to him and he said, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be rude. I’m not doing anything.”