Todd Strasser - Wish You Were Dead

I didn’t want her to go, but she was right. It was hard to imagine anyplace safer than my own house, in the gated community of Premium Point, in the (formerly) ultra-safe suburb of Soundview. “It’s okay, Mom. How long do you think you’ll be?”

“They usually go for most of the afternoon. Some people just love the sound of their own voices.” She came over and kissed me on the head. “You’ll be okay. I’ll keep my cell phone on.”

“No prob, Mom.”

She left and I wished she hadn’t gone. It wasn’t logical; I just didn’t want to be alone in the house. Not today. Who could I invite over? Tyler was the only one who came to mind, and I didn’t feel comfortable calling him.

I finished looking at the magazine. The house was empty, and my room began to feel claustrophobic in my room. I went downstairs and walked around, making sure all the doors were locked and the windows were shut. I would have turned on the alarm system, but it was wired to first-floor motion detectors and that meant having to stay upstairs to avoid setting them off.

There were coffee-table books in the living room to look at and more magazines in the kitchen to read. And there was always the Sound to gaze at, but I’d done a lot of that lately. I couldn’t sit still. Every time I did, thoughts I didn’t want to have were quick to appear. What did it feel like to die of dehydration? What did someone who’d died from dehydration look like? If Lucy hadn’t been given anything to drink, was the same true of Adam and Courtney?

And of course, there was Tyler. Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, until I felt like I’d go crazy.

I went upstairs and changed into exercise clothes, then jogged on the treadmill while watching Ten Things I Hate About You , one of my favorite movies. That worked for a while, until I got tired and had to slow from a jog to a walk, and then—when my legs really began to ache—to a stop altogether. But at least I knew what I wanted to do next.

The indoor-outdoor pool and hot tub were separated from the house by a long, narrow breezeway lined with sliding-glass doors. In summer we opened the doors and retracted the pool’s roof. In the winter the doors were closed and the roof went back on. I guess the indoor hot tub was what people would call a guilty pleasure. I loved sitting in it after exercising or riding Val, with the bubbling hot water swirling around me and the view of the Sound out back. As I walked along the breezeway, I saw that the blue sky was dotted with high thin clouds as wispy as baby’s hair and the sun sparkled on the water. But in the distance to the west, a thick bank of dark gray clouds was approaching.

The hot tub was in a corner between the pool and the windows. I turned the whirlpool on and waited for the water to heat up. It hardly took any time for the hot tub to get steamy. I took off my white terry-cloth robe and draped it over a pool chair. I was naked. It seemed silly to bother with a bathing suit when there was absolutely no one around. Before I got into the tub, goose bumps ran over my skin, more from the daring thrill of being completely unclothed than any lingering cool air.

I eased myself into the bubbly brew and immediately felt myself start to relax. The windows closest to the hot tub steamed over and I stared at the ceiling, trying to let my mind go anywhere it wanted as long as it had nothing to do with Lucy, Adam, and Courtney. Or Tyler.

There was college to think about. But then I imagined what the first day would be like. I’d meet other students and they’d ask where I was from and as soon as I said Soundview they were sure to press their hands to their mouths and gasp, “Isn’t that where those kids disappeared and that girl was killed?”

The thought made me wince. Would this follow all of us for the rest of our lives? Would we always be the kids from Soundview—like the kids who went to Columbine?

I slid down a little in the hot tub and let the swirling bubbly water cover my shoulders. And thought about Tyler again. Okay, okay , I thought. I give up. As soon as I get out, I’ll call him. Either I’ll make up some excuse, or I’ll just tell him the truth … that I would feel better if he told me more about himself and what was going on .

That’s what I was thinking when I looked back at the window … and felt a jolt of terror. Against the foggy glass was a shadow—a silhouette of someone, almost certainly a man.

My breath grew short and my heart banged in my chest. Who was he and what was he doing there? It could have been a gardener or one of the workmen Mom sometimes hired to do chores around the house. But he wasn’t carrying a rake or any tools. The shadow’s arm rose and a hand pressed against the glass as if he were trying to peer in, but the vapor was on the inside and he couldn’t wipe it away. I stayed in the hot tub, frozen with fear. If I kept perfectly still, maybe he wouldn’t see me.

The man began to walk along the sliding doors. The vapor fogging the windows didn’t extend very far. Soon he’d reach clear glass and be able to see in. I looked at the terry-cloth robe on the pool chair. Did I have time to get out of the hot tub and put it on?

No. He reached a pane of clear glass and peered in at the pool, his head slowly turning in the direction of the hot tub. Even before his eyes met mine, I thought I recognized him. The wavy hair and the chipped tooth. He was the person of interest. The one in the sketch Reilly had given the police. Only his face was covered by a short beard and his hair was longer than in the sketch, and uncombed.

I still hadn’t moved when our eyes met. For a second he actually looked startled to see me. Then his hand went to the sliding door’s handle, but it was locked from the inside. He moved to the next door and tried that, but it was also locked. He looked up and our eyes met again. He gestured with his hand for me to come and open the door from the inside.

I was frozen with fear, my stomach knotting, my chest so tight I could hardly breathe. All I could think about was getting back into the house to call for help. I looked again at the robe on the chair. His eyes followed mine and he blinked as if he knew what I was thinking. He moved down to the next sliding door and tried it. And then the next.

I was almost sure all the sliding doors were locked. Once we closed them for the winter, we never went through them. But he didn’t know that. He moved farther away along the outside of the breezeway, down to the next sliding door. What would he do once he realized all the doors were locked? I didn’t know, but I did know that I couldn’t stay in the hot tub any longer. But if I got out, he would see me. Naked.

He reached the last sliding door and tried it, but like the others, it wouldn’t open. Terrified, I watched as he looked around, up, and down, as if trying to find a way to get in. He’s not going to stop , I thought. He’s going to keep trying until he gets in. He knows he can’t just go away because I’ve seen him and he knows I’ll call the police. He killed Lucy. He may have killed Adam and Courtney, as well. He’s not going to just change his mind and go away .

I got out of the hot tub, covering myself with my hands as best as I could, and quickly pulled on the robe. He saw me and started back along the windows. But now I wouldn’t look at him. Keeping him in the corner of my eye, I hurried along the side of the pool, toward the breezeway.

He stopped by a sliding door as if he thought I was going to open it for him. I couldn’t imagine why he would think that, and I didn’t care. When I didn’t stop to let him in, he scowled and began to jog alongside me on the other side of the glass.

“Let me in!” he yelled. “I have to talk to you.”