Boris Akunin - Murder on the Leviathan

‘Well now,’ growled Gauche, ‘time will tell.’

Following which, to everyone’s relief, Mrs Truffo struck up a conversation about the weather.

10 April 18 j8

22 hours 31 minutes

In the Arabian Sea

17 06 28 N 59 48 14 E

My passionately beloved Emily,

This infernal ark is controlled by the forces of evil, I can sense it in every fibre of my tormented soul. Although I am not sure that a criminal such as I can have a soul. Writing that has set me thinking. I remember that I have committed a crime, a terrible crime which can never ever be forgiven, but the strange thing is, I have completely forgotten what it was that I did. And I very much do not want to remember.

At night, in my dreams, I remember it very well - otherwise how can I explain why I wake up in such an appalling state every morning?

How I long for our separation to be over! I feel that if it lasts for even a little longer, I shall lose my mind. I sit in the cabin and stare at the minute hand of the chronometer, but it doesn’t move. Outside on the deck I heard someone say, ‘It’s the tenth of April today,’ and I couldn’t grasp how it could possibly be April and why it had to be the tenth. I unlocked the trunk and saw that the letter I wrote to you yesterday was dated 9 April and the one from the day before yesterday was dated the eighth. So it’s right. It is April. The tenth.

For several days now I have been keeping a close eye on Professor Sweetchild (if he really is a professor). He is a very popular man with our group in Windsor, an inveterate old windbag who loves to flaunt his knowledge of history and oriental matters. Every day he comes up with new, fantastic stories of hidden treasure, each more improbable than the last. And he has nasty, shifty, piggy little eyes. Sometimes there is an insane gleam in them. If only you could hear how volupturous his voice sounds when he talks about precious stones. He has a positive mania for diamonds and emeralds.

Today at breakfast Dr Truffo suddenly stood up, clapped his hands loudly and announced in a solemn voice that it was Mrs Truffo’s birthday. Everybody oohed and aahed and began congratulating her, and the doctor himself publicly presented his plain-faced spouse with a gift for the occasion, a pair of topaz earrings in exceptionally bad taste.

What terrible vulgarity, to make a spectacle of giving a present to one’s own wife! Mrs Truffo, however, did not seem to think so. She became unusually lively and appeared perfectly happy, and her dismal features turned the colour of grated carrot. The lieutenant said: ‘Oh, madam, if we had known about this happy event in advance, we would certainly have prepared some surprise for you. You have only your own modesty to blame.’ The empty-headed woman turned an even more luminous shade and muttered bashfully: ‘Would you really like to make me happy?’ The response was a general lazy mumble of goodwill. ‘Well then,’ she said, ‘let’s play my favourite game of lotto. In our family we always used to take out the cards and the bag of counters on Sundays and church holidays. It’s such wonderful fun! Gentlemen, it will really make me very happy if you will play!’ It was the first time I had heard the doctor’s wife speak at such great length. For an instant I thought she was making fun of us, but no, Mrs Truffo was entirely serious.

There was nothing to be done. Only Renier managed to slip out, supposedly because it was time for him to go on watch. The churlish commissioner also attempted to cite some urgent business or other as an excuse, but everyone stared at him so reproachfully that he gave in with a bad grace and stayed.

Mr Truffo went to fetch the equipment for this idiotic game and the torment began. Everyone dejectedly set out their cards, glancing longingly at the sunlit deck. The windows of the saloon were wide open, but we sat there playing out a scene from the nursery. We set up a prize fund to which everyone contributed a guinea - ‘to make things more interesting’, as the elated birthday girl said. Our leading lady should have had the best chance of winning, since she was the only one who was watching eagerly as the numbers were drawn. I had the impression that the commissioner would have liked to win the jackpot too, but he had difficulty understanding the childish little jingles that Mrs Truffo kept spouting (for her sake, on this occasion we spoke English).

The pitiful topaz earrings, which are worth ten pounds at the most, prompted Sweetchild to mount his high horse again. ‘An excellent present, sir!’ he declared to the doctor, who beamed in delight, but then Sweetchild spoiled everything with what he said next. ‘Of course, topazes are cheap nowadays, but who knows, perhaps their price will shoot up in a hundred years or so. Precious stones are so unpredictable!

They are a genuine miracle of nature, unlike those boring metals gold and silver. Metal has no soul or form, it can be melted down, while each stone has a unique personality. But it is not just anyone who can find them, only those who stop at nothing and are willing to follow their magical radiance to the ends of the earth, or even beyond if necessary.’ These bombastic sentiments were accompanied by Mrs Truffo calling out the numbers on the counters in her squeaky voice.

While Sweetchild was declaiming: I shall tell you the legend of the great and mighty conqueror Mahmud Gaznevi, who was bewitched by the brilliant lustre of diamonds and put half of India to fire and the sword in his search for these magical crystals,’ Mrs Truffo said: ‘Eleven, gentlemen. Drumsticks!’ And so it went on.

But I shall tell you Sweetchild’s legend of Mahmud Gaznevi anyway. It will give you a better understanding of this storyteller. I can even attempt to convey his distinctive manner of speech.

Tn the year (I don’t remember which) of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to the Moslem chronology was (and of course I don’t remember that), the mighty Gaznevi learned that in Sumnat on the peninsula of Guzzarat (I think that was it) there was a holy shrine which contained an immense idol that was worshipped by hundreds of thousands of people. The idol jealously guarded the borders of that land against foreign invasions and anyone who stepped across those borders with a sword in his hand was doomed. This shrine belonged to a powerful Brahmin community, the richest in the whole of India. And these Brahmins of Sumnat also possessed an immense number of precious stones. But unafraid of the power of the idol, the intrepid conqueror gathered his forces together and launched his campaign.

Mahmud hewed off fifty thousand heads, reduced fifty fortresses to ruins and finally burst into the Sumnat shrine. His soldiers defiled the holv site and ransacked it from top to bottom, but they could not find the treasure. Then Gaznevi himself approached the idol, swung his great mace and smote its copper head. The Brahmins fell to the floor before their conqueror and offered him a million pieces of silver if only he would not touch their god. Mahmud laughed and smote the idol again. It cracked. The Brahmins began wailing more loudly than ever and promised this terrible ruler ten million pieces of gold. But the heavy mace was raised once again and it struck for a third time. The idol split in half and the diamonds and precious stones that had been concealed within it spilled out onto the floor in a gleaming torrent. The value of that treasure was beyond all calculation.’

At this point Mr Fandorin announced with a slightly embarrassed expression that he had a full card. Everyone except Mrs Truffo was absolutely delighted and was on the point of leaving when she begged us so insistently to play another round that we had to stay. It started up again: ‘Thirty-nine - pig and swine! Twenty-seven - I’m in heaven!’ and more drivel of the same kind.