СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - SOVIET FREAKS. Zvinosetsa zvekufungidzira

– Eh, heh, heh – kusuruvara kwakaonekwa kuruboshwe rwe dehenya mune fomu rejecha kudonha uye rakakungurutswa pasi nematama ake, vachisiya chiratidzo.

– Usazode iwe, senge dandruff pane ako armpits! – Zulka akadanidzira ndokuisa bhatani negumbo rake-pfupa paPukik. Iko kudzvanya kwakanzwika uye kurira pasi mukati mekudzika kwechigero.

– Dzvanya zvakare! – akabvunza Pukik.

– Chii, unochifarira?.. Chibate … – naKazulya akaisa fofan pasi pesofa rekuseri zvakanyanya mukati mwake zvekuti chero marara akabuda pamatanda edehenya rake.

– Oooooh!!!! – dehenya rakave rakaunyana nekubvunda kudedera, nekuti iyi ndiyo nzira yekugeza, sekugezesa kana shawa.

– Usatarise, zema, usatenderedza wave. Zvese zvakapusa!!!

– Handisi kuzokotama … – kune iyo gundel iye ari melancoly.

– Kutumira!.

– Usapfugame..

– Kutumira!!

– Usapfugama!

– Kutumira!!!

– Usapfugame!!

– Kutumira!!!!

– Usapfuure!!!

– Kutakura, Kutakura, Kutakura, Kutakura, Kutengesa, Kutumira, Kutakura!!!!! -Zulka akatora mweya wakadzika ndokudaidzira -Aaaoo!!!!!!!

– Usaridza mhere kunge nguruve. -Pukik akafamba achienda.

– Uye chii chinonzi «nguruve»?

– Ini handizive, saka zvakaitika kwandiri.

– Kubva kupi?

– Kubva pane ngamera.

– Kameri? Chii ichi izwi?

– Ah?.. Ehe, zvakare se «yenguruve» Ndisiye ndoga!

– Ahh! Ehe, zorora.

– Chii, «aaaaa»? – yakakanganisa Pukik.

– Ehe, ini ndaona?! – Zulka akazunza ziso rake.

– Chii, «kunzwisisa»?

– «Nguruve» iyo «ngamera», uye «ngamera» iri..

– «nguruve»! -akawedzera shard ndokunhonga imwe mudzi kubva kumadziro. – Haipenye… Iwe unoda kudya here? – uye akaisungira muziso rake.

– Ugh.. – she mate. – Ehe, chii chaunodya, asi idya. Tarisa uone. Dzakanaka sei zvinhu zvese, kwasviba..

– Toto uye iyo, iyo yakasviba uye kwete horseradish isingaonekwe, kunze kwako iwe.

– Uye iwe zvirinani utarise, iyi ndiyo nyika yako, nyika yokumusha!!

Pukik akapusa uye nekukasira akasimudza dehenya rake ndokutendeuka akatarisa mumaziso uye haana kuona kana chinhu. Akatarisa pasi pekusavimbika uye nepadivi chiratidzo… uye zvakare na.

– Ehe, iwe hautarise, asi tarisa mukati, zvakadzika mune izvo zvinoreva…

– Chii?

– Izvi!.. Zvatinoda mukati.

– Hapana chandinoona. – naPukik akatsamwa akatsikitsira

– Sei zvakadaro: Ini ndinoona, asi haudi? -Zulka aine mutsipa wake mutsipa wakabvisa dehenya rake mumativi maviri ndokutanga kutendeuka: ikozvino kurudyi, kuruboshwe, ipapo kumusoro, uye pasi … – Uye zvino uri kuona here kunaka kwerima renyika?

– Saka chii?! – Punkik. – zvese zvinosuwa..

– Ehe, unotaridzika kupfuura iwe! – uye iye, mukunyorova kwake kwemwana, akamupurudzira semutambi wemuhombodo. Dehenya rake rakazvimba, uye kwete nyeredzi dzakaonekwa, asi mavara mumeso ake.

– Ndisiye ndoga, akaipa. akapopota.

– Ah hoo?! – uye iye, achitora simba rake kukunda ukuru, uye pakanga paine shoti kakapetwa kaviri kupfuura Kazul, akatwasanudza ruoko rwemeso, ndokukanda, nepaneri yeiyo angular velocity, pamadziro. Shards yakanga isina mutsipa mhedzisiro uye saka haina kunzwa kurwadziwa, uye saka Pukik akatanga kubhururuka kubva pane akaomeswa sefa kunge billiard bhora uye ricochet: achidhonzera huma yake kumberi padombo rakanamatira kunze kumadziro, ipapo mudenga, ipapo denga, pamusoro pevhu, zvakare rakatarisana nemadziro, rumwe rusvingo nezve pasi, zvakare pamusoro pe madziro, padenga, nezve pasi, zvakare nezve madziro, mumwe madziro, denga, pamusoro pezasi, nezve madziro, mamwe madziro uye akamhanyira zvakangoerekana kwaZulka.

– Uye uya iwe pachako, kana zvisina kudaro munguva pfupi kuchave paine imwe mhando yekuderedza … – Shisha akatora mweya wakadzika.

– Ndezvipi zvipfupi? – Zulka akaedza kusunungura ziso, asi ziso rakatsemurwa uye rakapetwa pamujoini nemutsipa wedenderedzwa rakapfuura.

– Unofanirwa kuenda kumakirasi. – yakaenderera mberi imwe kazul inonzi Soplyushka. -in Galupia, munzira yetsaona.

– The stock of anobatsira radiation yapera. – yekutanga yakabviswa, iyo inonzi – yekutanga.

– Cesspools … – akawedzera wechipiri, iye anonziwo akafanana.

– Uye saka, kuti munhu wese arege kufa zvakanaka, zvakaipa zvituru zvichaparadzwa.

– Vaitei chikafu chezvakanaka.

– Ehe, isu tichafa zvakadaro kana tikasawana imwe sosi yechikafu. – Shisha akagumisa, uye zvese panguva imwechete ivo vakachema pamwe chete. Zulka haasati aziva izvo zvaitaurwa, zvaive zvakanyanya kukosha kuti aburuke nekukurumidza, uye akazvisimudza, akabata imwe yenguva uye ziso nerubatsiro rwegumbo-pfupa rakabuditswa uye rakakwakuka mukusagadzikana, ipapo mumhepo uye saizvozvo kashanu. Ziso rakakarembera pane yakatambanudzwa, uye mushure mechinguva muviri wakamhanyira kune ziso, worirova. Iro ziso rakabhururuka kubva mumuviri uye ndokutambanudzira mutsipa kumutsipa, rakatsemuka uye ndokukwevera kuseri kweziso nechitaki. Iro ziso rakanga risingavhurike uye, nekuda kwekutambanudza, ndokukwevera Zulka, rikarova rakapinza kumadziro ndokugogodza kunze kwegomba. Chopik akabhururuka akabuda uye ziso rake rakorembera pachivhurwa. Madzikoma vakamhanyira kununura uye, kwenguva yekutanga, «dhonza dhizaini» neanthill, neyakaoma, kubva kuyedza yechishanu vakaburitsa maziso avo kubva kujamu uye madziro akapunzika, vachigadzira kusaziva kupinda mukuvhurwa kukuru. Pamberi pemusha, Galupy aisaziva nezve hupenyu hwepasi, kana manejimendi haana kuvazivisa.

Dzese dzakakungurutsira misoro pamusoro pezvitsitsinho uye dzainzwa mwenje wepanyika wepasi peZuva kusvikira musha usingaonekwe nehuwandu hwevaGalups.

Kamwe kamwe, madekwana akauyazve uye mhanza shiri Stasyan akabhururuka akaburukira mugomba uye akanamira pasi padumbu rake…

– Ah ndimi ani? – akabvunza Zulka.

– Murova!! – Ridza mhere rwegumi, uye vafambi vemangwana vakatora nzvimbo isina kudzidziswa kuti yendege inonzi «anti-ndege.» Kubva pakurohwa nhunzi dzese dzakatsemuka ndokutiza, idzo dzakafa, dzechitatu dzakabhururuka dzichienda.

– Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! rakadimbura mhanza. – zve chii????

Stasyan haana kunzwisisa kubhowekana kwavo saka akafunga kuzvidzivirira uye kudya. Aive akapetwa kakapetwa nekazuli, uye nekunakirwa nemiromo yake akabata ziso raShisha. Akapopota.

– Aahai yay yay, anoruma, uye ini, benzi, ndinomureverera. Murovei, vakunda. – uye pfuti dzakabhururukira zvakare mukati medhiri shiri, ndokumurova, uye simba reZulka nekusvetuka rakamuwisira mugomba kunze. Kuedza kwake kwakabatsira nemaoko ake, aakazvisundira pasi, achive, ari kumashure kwemuviri kubva kunze kwegomba.. Stasyan, asingazvipore, achizviona ari panze, akatiza. Akange asisakwanise kubhururuka kumusoro, sepakutanga. Kubva pakurohwa kwevaeni manyowa ese akabhururuka pamwe nenhunzi, asi akakurumidza, nekukurumidza akamhanya, akamhanya mhanya, akamhanya mhanya, akamhanya mhanya, akamhanya mhanya, akamhanya, akarashikirwa nemakwenzi emakwenzi, akarara pasi uye akarara…

Generalisiphilis pachake akakurumidza kuziva nezve chiitiko pakupera kwebako. All Galupii, Hutungamiri Hwake, Semisrak. Iyi Kanzuru isingazivikanwe yevaCherepovichs muHole yeBotva yePamusoro weParamende yeGreat Galupia (NBVPVG) yakadzidza uye yakadzidza gomba-kuziva uku. (Nora ndiyo nzvimbo; Bhota ndiyo muunganidzwa wepfungwa dzekoloni).

– ndinokumbira munhu wese kuti asimuke!! – akataura munyori wezvenhau weHutungamiri Hwake, Casulia Zack, – Sam, yake Sublime Pasina Shongwe Greatness, Generalisifilis All Galupov, Hutungamiriri Hwake, Changamire Ishe, Semisrak achimhanyisa… SUGGEST!!!!

Wese munhu akamira pane rakasviba, ndiko kuti, panyanga.

– Haihai hylayek bir muto, bir bark. Gungwa rakashata, gungwa remakungwa, Mabiko emabhuruku akange achembera … -. Generalisyphilis yakatora nzvimbo yayo.