СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - NGOSUKU. Iqiniso elihlekisayo

– Le boor, shaya lentokazi!!

– Thambisa umoya, yehlisa umoya! – Amaphoyisa abuzwa ngenhlonipho. – Akekho umuntu oshaye umuntu. Bheka lapho. – Kude kude ungabona ikhamera ye-movie nabasebenzi befilimu abanodondolo.

– Le filimu idutshulwa ngumseshi ophenya amahlaya! – Ungeze iphoyisa lesibili.

– He he he he!!! – ukhokhise owesithathu. – Futhi inkohliso inkohliso! Hu hu hu!!! Futhi ukulwa!

Isishubhu sahlala phansi, sanyakaza okuthile, sababaza abaculi, sabheka emaphoyiseni, sathatha umhluzi saya emgaqweni omkhulu uFurshtatskaya.

Futhi ngalesi sikhathi e-candeyka, lapho inkampani ye-gop yayikade ihlangana khona, futhi manje abasiki bengqephu bavuka kumuntu obophela imishini, babona ukuthi enye yezinto ezatholakala ingekho noma ilahlekile, yakhula imilenze yakhe babaleka, baqala ukulungiselela uzungu lokudalula isela noma imilenze yakhe. Sebehambise amabhodlela ashiywe ngempelasonto edlule, bathola imishini yokuhlanza ebizwa ngokuthi yi- «Snowflake» kanti, sebeyixhakamisile ngamanzi asendlini yangasese, ngenxa yokushoda kukompompi, maqondana nokulungiswa kwepayipi, baqala kancane ukuphuza, bedla izinsalela ezazicishwe izolo emgqonyeni kadoti ubizwa – bay futhi omuncu kakhulu.

Kwakusondela ntambama. U-Madame Tumor ushaya ingoma yentombazane yakhe elahlwe yicala, wabuyela e-canday, ephethe, ngesandla esisodwa, yokusungula, kwesinye isikhwama enamathini ka-aluminium kabhiya namabhodlela. Ngaphandle kokucabanga noma ukusola noma yini, wavula umnyango wangena ngaphakathi kwe-candeika, ebhekene nesiphetho sakhe…

Ekuqaleni, wahlangatshezwa ukubonwa phansi kwangaphambilini.

– Hawu, yini? – Kuqala ikhonsathi esabekayo, umfelokazi omnyama, owedlule wabulala abayeni bakhe abathathu, kusukela ehleli endaweni yababulali eneminyaka engu-15 waqamba igama elithi Kampuchea, nangobuzwe bakhe – uKalmyk ngaphandle kwamazinyo angaphambili.

– Yini? – ethuke kancane futhi edidekile, wabuza uMadame Tumor futhi wabeka i-yokusungula.

– Yini, ini? – ungeze ngokuqinile igama lakhe elithi hahal elaziwa ngegama elithi – uBalamut ngohlobo lwesifo sofuba esivulekile. – Esikhathini imbongolo fuck, hhayi hot?

– Mina, ngicabanga isizathu sokushayisana, kusho uMadame Tumor. – Ngihlanze insimu.

– Futhi kanjani? – ubuze umlingiswa wesithathu wale geyimu yamahlaya, igama elihlwabusayo elithi – Fox.

– Ngabe konke kuhlanzekile?! kusho yena.

– Futhi thina Fuck! – Bhekiswa Kampuchea. – Akuwona umsebenzi wakho, ngeke uthathwe nguwe, awuzange uwuthathe njengento ebhakedeni, kepha, bitch?

Futhi lapho siya khona: ekuqaleni wayeshaywa kabuhlungu futhi ekhahlelwa emilenzeni nasenqindi. Ngemuva kokungena, izinto zahamba: ama-thermometers amathathu, ephukile emgodleni wakhe womlomo, ukushayeka okubili ngesinqe sentambo entombazaneni, kunqamula kanzima nge-rose kusuka ebhodweni elalihlekile lamehlo nezihlathi, izilonda zommese eziyisikhombisa emzimbeni ngommese, kuphule amabhodlela kabhiya alethwe kuye ngesando esidonswe ngaphakathi kuye. ukuqala ezindaweni ezingamanyala zokusondelana. Futhi ngenkathi ukwazi ukucula «ikhekhe leqhwa» nokwenza amathile. Ekugcineni, ngemuva kokuduka, isidumbu esingaphilanga sasihudulelwa echibini, kepha umakhelwane wahlangana wabiza amaphoyisa ngasese namaphoyisa nge-ambulensi.

Kuze kube sekuseni, baphenya imbangela yalokhu kubanjwa inkunzi ngenqindi babayisa esikhungweni sokuboshwa kwangaphambi kokuqulwa kwecala ekuseni, kwathi uMadame Tumor waxoshwa odokotela. Manje uhambahamba endaweni kamasipala waseChernyshevsky, amakhwela, ukhuluma nonkulunkulu futhi uphuza kakhulu. Abalishumi baba ngumngane wabaphathi ababi. Futhi kwenye i-candeyka, ngokuvamile, ngokudlwengulwa okungenangqondo kowesifazane ofuywayo, amadodana akhe ajezisa abaseshi ngezando nangemimese kangangokuthi bagqolozela iso elilodwa babeka elinye ezimpaphe, abanye basinda ngokushaywa ngesando ekhanda. Futhi lokhu kwenzeke ngo-Eva woNyaka oMusha, kepha le ngenye ingoma yeSodoma neGomora…

Kule ndlu eyayihlukumezekile enamabhomu, yabangenamakhaya, eSinopskaya enetulo 26, ngaphansi kwegama elithi RBOO «Nochlezhka», kwakungezona izigebengu kuphela, amathokheni, amaChukchi kanye nabathathu base-Ukraine, okungukuthi, izakhamuzi zaseDonetsk. Abanye bonke abantu base-Ukraine bangabalandeli benkolo yaseBandera, kodwa futhi bekuhlala izindela ezimbili zeSonto lama-Orthodox ezazivele zikhathele ukukholelwa kuNkulunkulu, futhi banquma ukuthatha ikhefu ehlobo ekudleni kwabo kwasemini kokulalela kanye nokuvinjwa kwezinye izilingo zomhlaba, ukubukela, yiqiniso, isidlo esikhulu sokungashadi, enikezwe ngesilinganiso. Kuyiqiniso, bona, ngasese kwabanye ebusuku, baphonsa iminwe yabo embotsheni yomunye, futhi, ngokusobala, akudingekanga ukuthi bakhansele lesi sidlo sakusihlwa, ngenxa yokungahambisani nezinye izingxenye zomzimba endaweni yomzimba. Njengoba baphunyula esigodlweni sezindela sase-Alexander Nevsky Lavra, idolobha laseSt. Petersburg, bayikhohlwa yonke imithetho yemithetho futhi balalela ukungabi namthetho kwezwe: babhema, bachitha, bafunga, futhi, ekugcineni, ngemuva kokulala, baphendukela eNkosini yabo. Kuyiqiniso, babengaqondakali, ngoba uBaba uSeraphim wayeseneminyaka engamashumi amabili eyinkosi, kusukela ezikhumbuzweni zezikhathi zaseSoviet futhi wayehlala ngisho nasendaweni, izigebengu, ngenxa yezinkolelo zenkolo. Ubaba kaFion, ubekhonze insimu engcwele isikhathi esingaphansi kweminyaka eyishumi nambili, kepha usanda kuthola lo mnotho ovela kule monki ebabazekayo, waseKiev Pechersk Lavra, lapho atshalwe khona emuva emkhandlwini, waqala ukuzulazula ezungeza izindlu zezindela namasonto. Njengoba uSeraphim eseshilo kaningi ukuthi umphefumulo wakhe kade wawusezulwini, kepha inyama ayikwazi ukwehlisa umoya futhi ife. Futhi wayelinda leli hora njalo kusihlwa, ethandaza ngaphambi kokulala. UNkulunkulu wabo ngokusobala futhi wayeqonda ukuthi kwakungeyona eyensimbi, ngoba babekhonza isidlo esikhulu sangaphambi kokungashadi, bengaqali, futhi ngokuvamile ababanga nabesifazane uma besondelana. Futhi imali yabo yachithwa ngaphandle kokusebenza futhi yanyamalala njengoba befika nje.

ENochlezhka, ngokushesha benza abangane abaningi bamanga, abaphuza nabo, nezindela, ngokudingiswa, baba uhlobo lokuphakela abanye izinambuzane ezihlwabusayo ezenza izigqila zabantu abakhubazekile nabadala bephansi kwabo, kanye nabantu abampofu abangenalutho balinganiswa nabo, ukufumbathisa kwabo kwansuku zonke. Kepha izindela kancane kancane zayidelela le freebie ngokwazo futhi yanquma ukuguqula umbuthano woxhumana nabo nendawo yokuchitha ubusuku, zangithinta futhi zangichitha ubusuku bonke egumbini elingaphansi kwegumbi leSeminari le-Alexander Nevsky Lavra, lapho u-Aleksashka Nevzorov ake wafunda khona. Bengingakalilahli ikhono nesipiliyoni sokulwa emgwaqweni futhi ngijabulele igunya elikhethekile phakathi kwamasela. Bangibiza ngaphandle kombhoshongo futhi kwesinye isikhathi bebengalokothi baphikisane. Ngamafuphi, angizange ngithintwe, futhi mina, ngemuva kokulalela uSeraphim noFiona, ababazi ngegunya lami ngempela, hhayi ngamahemuhemu, ngokuxhumana nangamaholo, ngavuma ngokuvuma. Okusemqoka ukuthi ngangiwuhlobo lwesikhwama sezokuphepha. Bona, begqoke isudioscock, bangena kunoma yisiphi isitolo bathembisa ukuthandazela impilo yezihlobo zabo, ngosuku olwedlule, kuthiwa, bashiya imihlambi ethile yasePoland. Igama elilodwa lalifanele futhi kwinani lama-ruble angamashumi amabili. Imali idluliselwe kimi, futhi namarisidi athathwe eKazan Cathedral ashiswa ngaphansi kwenkonzo yabo yomkhuleko. Mina, ngokungafani nabo, ngangigqoke izingubo zomphakathi, kodwa nginesilevu. Lokhu kwenziwe uma kwenzeka ukuthi la maphoyisa asibambe, bese ngifana nesobunxele, futhi awunayo nepeni phambi kwawo. Futhi konke kwahamba kahle. Ngosuku «esilinqunyiwe», okungukuthi, sathola kanjalo nje, hhayi ama-ruble ayinkulungwane umuntu ngamunye futhi ngemuva komsebenzi sazulazula emisebeni, lapho sathela amagremu ayikhulu, saphuza ukubukeka kwengulube. Futhi bazulazula emangqamuzaneni abo, ehostela lokufundela, e-Alexander Nevsky Lavra, benama kahle futhi bedakiwe, bejabule futhi bekhathele, kusukela osukwini olwedlule, kepha umgwaqo oya ekhaya ubuyingozi futhi unzima. Kuqhamuke ngezindlela ezahlukene, kwenzeka esikhungweni sokukhucululwa kwezidakamizwa. Futhi nakhu manje sesiphuzwe kakhulu esiteshini samaphoyisa. UFiona ukhubazekile ngokuphelele. Wayemncane, enomusa kakhulu, efundeka kahle futhi emile. Isimo sobuso bakhe, ikakhulukazi obedakiwe, sasinjengobuso benqama enamehlo amnyama. Iserafi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, lalidonsa futhi likhuluphele, njengengulube, lihaha futhi linobuqili. Wayehlale efuna ukuseshwa, aze afike ku-anus, lapho i-heroin, i-cocaine kanye nokhula kuvame ukufihlwa khona. Kuliqiniso, ubaba kaFiona ukhwele e-anus, futhi wayengumsunguli wokusesha wonke umuntu naye, ngeqiniso, ngaphandle kwami, ngoba nganginemali, futhi ngangingayinqamula emthambekeni noma esibindini, ngokwethemba nokholo emazwini ami, ngakho-ke behlala bekholelwa ekucaceni kwami. Ngemuva kokutholwa kwama-banknotes, uBaba uSeraphim waphenduka futhi wacela intethelelo, waguqa ngamadolo, ezibuza ezibuza ukuthi bangena kanjani lapho, bethuthumela: