David Borgenicht - The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide - New York City

Make outrageous statements about other celebrities. Deny having made such statements. Retract your denial. Repeat.

Hire a publicist.

Be prepared to pay as much as $10,000 a month, with no guarantee of results.

Offer a quid pro quo.

Barter scandalous information about celebrities (they have cheated on a spouse or committed a string of crimes) with gossip columnists in exchange for placing your own name in the column.

A

apartments

finding, 74

Manhattan studio costs, 62–63

roommates, 58–61

C

cockroach infestation, 38–43

Coney Island hot dog eating contest, 75–78

D

disasters and their solutions, 14–15

dog leash tangle, freeing yourself from, 32–35

dog poop removal, 48

doorman, sneaking past, 27–29

E

East River, swimming across, 10–13

events, traffic-snarling, 80–81

eviction, sneaking past doorman after, 27–29

G

garbage strike, 53

ghosts, 30–31

gossip columns, getting into, 87–89

group, walking through, 79

H

haunted places, 30–31

hot dog eating contest, 75–78

I

intersections, dangerous, 69

K

keys, retrieving from subway grate, 26

M

muggings, 54–56

museum fatigue, 66–68

N

New Year’s ball drop, 57, 80–81

nightclubs, getting into, 70–73

P

parades, 80–81

pedestrian accidents, 69

pigeon swarms, 44–47

R

rat bites, 49–52

roommates, 58–61

S

sample sales, 82–85

subway

characters and solutions, 86

escaping stalled car, 21–24

retrieving keys from grate, 26

worst lines, 25

swimming across East River, 10–13

R

taxicabs

hailing, 16–19

when to leave, 20

Times Square New Year’s ball drop, 57, 80–81

traffic-snarling events, 80–81

trash disposal, 53

David Borgenichtwould like to thank Sarah O’Brien, Jay Schaefer, Steve Mockus, Brianna Smith, Jenny Kraemer, and Brenda Brown for making this book happen—he’ll meet you on the top of the Empire State Building at midnight on Christmas Eve.

Ben H. Wintersis deeply grateful to Sarah O’Brien, David Borgenicht, and everyone at Quirk and Chronicle for welcoming him into the delightful Worst-Case universe. He’d also like to thank all the experts for their input, as well as all his friends, friends-of-friends, and total strangers who replied to his weird and random “does anyone know…” e-mails. Finally, a word of advice: If you call the Metropolitan Transportation Authority many times, with a lot of really specific questions, people start to get a little suspicious.

David Borgenichtis the creator and coauthor of all the books in the Worst-Case Scenario series, and is president and publisher of Quirk Books ( www.quirkbooks.com). He visits New York every month, and has only been caught in the subway doors once. He lives in Philadelphia.

Ben H. Winterslives in Brooklyn, where he writes for the theater, hangs out with his little family, and periodically takes the F train to Coney Island to root for the Cyclones. This is Ben’s first book, and he’s delighted that—just like another great story of New York, Edith Wharton’s The Age of Innocence —it includes a chapter about a hot dog eating contest.

Brenda Brownis an illustrator and cartoonist whose work has been published in many books and publications, including the Worst-Case Scenario series, Esquire, Reader’s Digest, USA Weekend, 21st Century Science & Technology , the Saturday Evening Post , and the National Enquirer . Her Web site is www.webtoon.com.

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