David Borgenicht - The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide - New York City

9 Convince your neighbors to keep equally clean.

Be Aware

Read the sticky trap instructions carefully, especially if you have pets and/or children.

1 Run in a zigzag pattern.

2 Pull your shirt over your head.

Crouching forward at a 30- to 45-degree angle, reach behind your head with one hand and grab the nape of your shirt. Pull your shirt up over your head. Stretch it far enough forward that it covers your entire scalp and your eyes.

3 Scatter food.

Use your free hand to remove any food from your pockets and bag and throw it in every direction. Employ vigorous flinging motions to draw the attention of the pigeons away from you and towards the food. Toss the food as quickly and as far away as possible.

4 Flap your arms like a falcon.

Extend your arms completely and flap them up and down vigorously.

5 Make loud noises.

Jump up and down and clap your hands repeatedly. Bang trash can lids, set off car alarms, scream, or make other loud noises that will scare away the pigeons.

Be Aware

• Pigeons cluster around partially eaten and discarded food, especially starchy items such as soft pretzels and hot dog rolls. Avoid people sitting on park benches distributing handfuls of popcorn, grain, or seeds.

• Pigeons are highly unlikely to peck your neck and eyes, but depending upon the season, may try to claim strands of hair for their nest. Defecation is frequent.

• A pigeon peck is not strong enough to break human skin.

• The primary health hazards associated with pigeons stem from the three illnesses caused by pigeon droppings: histoplasmosis, cryptococcosis, and psittacosis. All attack the respiratory system and pose the greatest danger to anyone with a compromised immune system.

• If you come into contact with pigeon droppings, wash the affected area immediately and as thoroughly as possible. Be on the lookout for flu-like symptoms over a 14-day period after the initial contact.

1 Wait for the rat to let go.

Rat bites typically last only a few seconds, and it is preferable to withstand the pain of the bite than to attempt to fling the rat away, which will create a messier wound.

2 Remove the rat.

If after several seconds the rat has not let go, pinch the upper jaw of the rat with your index finger and thumb and gently pry its incisors out of your flesh. Place the rat on the ground.

3 Staunch the bleeding.

Hold a dry, clean handkerchief or other small piece of cloth against the bite until bleeding subsides, which should only take a few seconds. In the event of persistent bleeding, tear a piece off of your shirt and tie it tightly around the wound, pulling the piece of cloth closed.

4 Dress the wound.

Clean the bite mark, and any other parts of your body that came in contact with the rat, with soap and water. Flush the soap fully out of the wound to prevent irritation.

5 Remove jewelry.

Take off any rings or other constricting jewelry, as swelling of the extremities may occur.

6 Bandage the wound.

Use a bandage or gauze and adhesive strip, applied loosely enough so that air can circulate to the wound.

Be Aware

• Rat-bite fever (streptobacillus moniliformis) can appear up to ten days after a bite, even after the initial wound has healed. Symptoms include back and joint pain, vomiting, headache, fever, and a rash, usually on the hands and feet.

• The upper incisors of rats are approximately four millimeters long and 1.5 millimeters wide. Their lower incisors are seven millimeters long and 1.2 millimeters wide.

• Rabies has never been passed to a human from a rat in the United States. Rats do, however, carry a host of other diseases, including the hanta virus, salmonella, and hepatitis E. They can also carry parasites such as maggots, botflies, lice, and ticks. All of these things are more likely to be passed by skin-to-skin contact with the rat than through a bite.

• Dump in public cans on street

• Place in dumpster behind restaurant

• Leave in taxi

• Put in trunk of rented car

• Gift wrap and leave at building entrance

• Put in shopping bag and leave on the downtown local

• Store under roommate’s bed

• Make into sculpture, seek grants

• Stand on Brooklyn Bridge, drop onto passing barge

• Sell online

• Compost in Central Park

1 Do not resist.

Remain calm and follow the mugger’s instructions. Answer questions slowly with an even tone of voice. Avoid any hints of sarcasm, irony, or aggression. Do not look directly at the mugger’s face.

2 Attack vulnerable areas.

If you are certain the mugger means to do you harm, take swift aggressive action.

• Thrust your fingers into the mugger’s eyes.

• Hold your hand flat and chop sharply at the mugger’s Adam’s apple.

• Grab his crotch and squeeze.

• Thrust your knee up into his groin.

• Swiftly sweep your left foot into his right ankle. At the same time, grasp his left elbow and pull sharply downward. As the mugger begins to totter, lunge forward into his midsection, pushing your attacker to the ground.

3 Use an object as a weapon.

Clench a car key between two fingers and use it to poke or stab. Wield a glass bottle to use as a bludgeon, or, if broken, as a knife. Break off a car antennae and use it as a weapon.

4 Flee.

Run as quickly as possible to the closest well-lit area, such as a store or a crowded sidewalk.

Be Aware

Most street criminals want to get what they can and make a quick getaway. There is no possession worth losing your life over.

• Do not call attention to any mobile technological device you may be carrying.

• Whenever possible, walk in small groups and avoid dim, isolated areas.

Put everything in writing.

Before all roommates move in, create a “roommates contract.”

Label all possessions.

Put your name on your food, books, CDs, portable electronic devices, clothing, and pets. Nothing, including food, should be considered “communal property,” unless explicitly agreed upon by all roommates in the contract.