Уильям Шекспир - The First Part of King Henry the Fourth

1. Car. Heigh-ho! an it be not four by the day, I'll be hang'd.
Charles' wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not
pack'd. – What, ostler!
Ost. [within] Anon, anon.
1. Car. I prithee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks in
the
point. Poor jade is wrung in the withers out of all cess.

2. Car. Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is
the
next way to give poor jades the bots. This house is turned
upside
down since Robin Ostler died.
1. Car. Poor fellow never joyed since the price of oats rose.
It
was the death of him.
2. Car. I think this be the most villanous house in all London
road
for fleas. I am stung like a tench.
1. Car. Like a tench I By the mass, there is ne'er a king
christen
could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.
2. Car. Why, they will allow us ne'er a jordan, and then we
leak in
your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like a loach.
1. Car. What, ostler! come away and be hang'd! come away!
2. Car. I have a gammon of bacon and two razes of ginger, to be
delivered as far as Charing Cross.
1. Car. God's body! the turkeys in my pannier are quite
starved.
What, ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou never an eye in thy
head? Canst not hear? An 'twere not as good deed as drink to
break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be
hang'd!
Hast no faith in thee?

Gads. Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock?
1. Car. I think it be two o'clock.
Gads. I prithee lend me this lantern to see my gelding in the
stable.
1. Car. Nay, by God, soft! I know a trick worth two of that,
i' faith.
Gads. I pray thee lend me thine.
2. Car. Ay, when? canst tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth he?
Marry,
I'll see thee hang'd first!
Gads. Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?
2. Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee.
Come, neighbour Mugs, we'll call up the gentlemen. They will
along with company, for they have great charge.

Gads. What, ho! chamberlain!

Cham. At hand, quoth pickpurse.
Gads. That's even as fair as- 'at hand, quoth the chamberlain';
for
thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving
direction
doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how.
Cham. Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I
told
you yesternight. There's a franklin in the Wild of Kent hath
brought three hundred marks with him in gold. I heard him
tell it
to one of his company last night at supper- a kind of
auditor;
one that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what. They
are
up already and call for eggs and butter. They will away
presently.
Gads. Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas' clerks,
I'll
give thee this neck.
Cham. No, I'll none of it. I pray thee keep that for the
hangman;
for I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man
of
falsehood may.
Gads. What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang, I'll
make
a fat pair of gallows; for if I hang, old Sir John hangs with
me,
and thou knowest he is no starveling. Tut! there are other
Troyans that thou dream'st not of, the which for sport sake
are
content to do the profession some grace; that would (if
matters
should be look'd into) for their own credit sake make all
whole.
I am joined with no foot land-rakers, no long-staff sixpenny
strikers, none of these mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms;
but
with nobility, and tranquillity, burgomasters and great
oneyers,
such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak,
and
speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray; and yet,
zounds, I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the
commonwealth, or rather, not pray to her, but prey on her,
for
they ride up and down on her and make her their boots.
Cham. What, the commonwealth their boots? Will she hold out
water
in foul way?
Gads. She will, she will! Justice hath liquor'd her. We steal
as in
a castle, cocksure. We have the receipt of fernseed, we walk
invisible.
Cham. Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to the
night
than to fernseed for your walking invisible.
Gads. Give me thy hand. Thou shalt have a share in our
purchase, as
I and a true man.
Cham. Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief.
Gads. Go to; 'homo' is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler
bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy
knave.

Poins. Come, shelter, shelter! I have remov'd Falstaff's horse,
and
he frets like a gumm'd velvet.
Prince. Stand close. [They step aside.]

Fal. Poins! Poins, and be hang'd! Poins!
Prince. I comes forward I Peace, ye fat-kidney'd rascal! What a
brawling dost thou keep!
Fal. Where's Poins, Hal?
Prince. He is walk'd up to the top of the hill. I'll go seek
him.
[Steps aside.]
Fal. I am accurs'd to rob in that thief's company. The rascal
hath
removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel
but
four foot by the squire further afoot, I shall break my wind.
Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I
scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his
company
hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am
bewitch'd
with the rogue's company. If the rascal have not given me
medicines to make me love him, I'll be hang'd. It could not
be
else. I have drunk medicines. Poins! Hal! A plague upon you
both!
Bardolph! Peto! I'll starve ere I'll rob a foot further. An
'twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true man and to
leave
these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a
tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten
miles
afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well
enough. A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to
another! (They whistle.) Whew! A plague upon you all! Give me
my
horse, you rogues! give me my horse and be hang'd!
Prince. [comes forward] Peace, ye fat-guts! Lie down, lay thine
ear
close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of
travellers.
Fal. Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down?
'Sblood,
I'll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot again for all the
coin
in thy father's exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt me