Rita Brown - Cat of the Century

She smiled broadly. We arent a mega-university for which I am grateful. What we have, though, is our Ivy League Society. Did Tally mention it to you?

No.

Many of our alumnae and alumni and friends, as well as people who did not attend here but who are attracted to our ethic and our commitment to the student, make William Woods University a beneficiary of a will, insurance policy, or trust. Tally is a member of the Ivy League Society, but she warns us that she intends to live forever.

Harry laughed. Shes making a run for it.

I so look forward to seeing her tomorrow and to hearing her speech on the very day she hits the century mark.

At that moment, feeling a Tanqueray glow, Tally was discussing her speech.

And ? She had given Inez the gist of it.

Blossom, reality is always in order. From what youve told me, thats what youre doing: telling the truth. Odd, isnt it? We try to tell the truth throughout our lives, but for some reason people dont begin to listen until were old.

Idiots! Aunt Tally waved a dismissive hand.

More by the minute, too. Inez settled back in the comfortable chair. People believe what they see on TV. Astonishes me. Or what beeps up from their handheld BlackBerries and whatever.

All of that controlled by large corporations. Well, not blogging and messages, but I am always suspicious where large profits are in order. I mean, Chickpea, theres not big money to be made from a tablet and a pen. Electrify it and well.

Profits, yes, but I dont think the power companies are perverting messages. However, all these devices draw power and give off heat. And think about it: You cant just throw out a computer. There are chips and things in there that apparently become dangerous when disintegrating, so they must be properly disposed of. If that is the caseand according to our refuse rules in Virginia, it isthen why arent they

dangerous to use? Isnt heat coming off the screen? Arent those little semiconductors and wires emitting fumes or something unhealthy? Inez, trained in the scientific method, was highly suspicious.

Of course. Call attention to it with proof, and everyone and everything tied to computers will deny it. Remember when the tobacco industry fought the truth? How blindly stupid of them. Am I against smoking? No. But it damages the lungs. End of story. Am I against computers? No. But they damage the eyes and God knows what else.

Truth is ever and always in short supply. Inez smiled ruefully.

Aunt Tally raised her voice. You know what, I dont give a damn. I care about my people. If other people want to be sheep, let them march off to be sheared or, worse, to the slaughterhouse. You cant save people who wont save themselves.

I suppose the truth is, you dont want them to take you down with them. Inez drew a deep breath. To change the subject, this alumnae committee is making an old woman older.

Slyly, Aunt Tally purred, Is that possible?

Inez laughed. Youre older than I.

Aunt Tally laughed, too. Touche. Whats troubling you?

Inez scrunched down deeper in the chair. Pewter had artfully placed herself on the padded area so Inez stroked her, which pleased the little egotist.

Aunt Tally raised her eyebrows.

Before I answer your question, let me ask you one. Do you feel old?

Oh, a pause followed, when I get out of bed it takes me fifteen minutes to straighten up. And I never feel old when I take my medicine. She held up her martini glass. Truthfully, no. I look in the mirror. I know Im old, but inside I dont feel it.

I didnt. I do now.

Why, you look the same to me. You have boundless energy. And you take no prisoners. You havent changed.

I realize I dont relish solving problems like I once did. I thank Mariah DAngelo and Flo Langston for that.

Really? Aunt Tallys eyebrows shot upward quickly.

Yes. There was a time when I would have felt such accomplishment in harnessing those two to pull together. Now I think I can do it but Im

tired, tired of peoples petty damned egos. If I didnt love our alma mater so much, Id have chucked the whole bag of beans.

Aunt Tally rubbed her tennis elbow, which ached from the increasing low pressure. Cant Liz resume being chairwoman?

Hell, no. Thats why Jahnae asked me to again chair the committee. Liz bounced between Mariah and Flo like a shuttlecock.

I thought our broker was Flos creature. Then Aunt Tally corrected herself. Im talking about only a small portion of my discretionary funds when I call Liz my broker; you know that Scott and Stringfellow manages the bulk of my family funds. She cited a prestigious Virginia firm whose performance record and care of clients spanned most of the twentieth century.

Yes and no. The board itself elected Liz their chair last year. Shes still youngwell, young to us; shes barely forty, if that.

Darling, these days they get face-lifts, boob jobs, fanny-lifts, tummy tucks at thirty.

Inez wrinkled her nose. All that violence done to young bodies. Well, back to your question, more or less. Liz pays great attention to Flo; after all, they are in the same business. But Mariah has pots of money. Liz tried to walk a middle course as chair, but they both overwhelmed her.

Hmm. I never perceived her as weak.

She isnt. But those two are stronger, and she cant please both.

Shes done a good job with your portfolio since Victor died, hasnt she? Aunt Tally mentioned Inezs late financial adviser.

She has, but shes not really chairman or chairwoman material. Im an interim, but we need to elect a new chair. Of course, first I have to convince Liz to resign.

Easy. Tell her well both pull our accounts.

Blossom!

Inez, thats the way the world works.

Im not doing that. You know me better than that.

Meow.

Pewter wanted Inez to continue petting her, as shed stopped.

Yes, I do, but that doesnt prevent me from telling you the fastest way to achieve the desired result.

Me. Me. Me!

Pewter raised her voice.

Inez looked at the cat, smiled, and resumed petting her. The trick is to make Liz think this is her own idea.

Well, if anyone can do it, you can.

Yes, I think I can, but it gets back to my feeling old. Once I would have seen this as a game. Id make up little goals and tick them off until I reached the final goal. Oh, you know, stuff like, first ten yards, introduce the concept in an offhand way. Second ten yards, mention the time this wrangling takes away from her true calling. You get the idea.

Clever.

Clever it may be, but I resent it. I

am

getting old.

Chickpea, people can feel management fatigue at forty-two. You just need a break.

Perhaps. Inez felt better after listening to her dear friend. There is one other little item, and this gets to the benefits of old age: One has many contacts, friends. When Mariah said at the meeting today that her computer crashed

Aunt Tally interrupted, Wait a minute, I dont know about this.

No one does, although I did have to tell Jahnae, who, being herself, remained calm and suggested a few paths to clarity. And youd better be quiet. This is board business.

Oh, balls! Im your best friend, your second skin and, furthermore, I will be one hundred years old tomorrow. Im entitled to secrets! She grinned, and in that grin, Inez saw her friend again as she was at twenty.

I know it, but I had to say it. Okay, heres the rub. Mariah is our treasurer. We open every meeting with the secretarys report, followed by the treasurers report. Mariah said her computer crashed. She didnt keep a written record.

Idiot. Young people really are stupid to trust machines.

Well, Blossom, we were idiots in our own way. We believed the War to End All Wars had done so.

All right. Aunt Tally grimaced but held up her martini glass in a silent toast to Inezs insight.