Janet Evanovich - Takedown Twenty

The car came to a stop, and I started screaming. The lid to the trunk opened, and I saw daylight and Moe looking down at me.

“That screaming’s annoying,” Moe said. “If you don’t stop I’m going to zap you again.”

“Where are we?”

“We’re on the bridge. You’re going swimming.”

Shorty and another guy came around and helped Moe wrangle me out of the trunk. The job was made more difficult by the fact that a cinderblock was attached to my ankle by a long rope.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” I said, looking down at the cinderblock. “Mob guys don’t actually do this.”

“Turns out, we do,” Moe said.

Cars were zipping by, drivers gawking. Some honked their horns and waved.

Moe waved back. “They think we’re making a movie or something.” He slammed the trunk closed. “We usually do this at night, but I got to go to an anniversary party for my in-laws.”

The SUV was parked behind the Lincoln. One guy was behind the wheel and the other guy was standing next to Shorty, taking it all in.

“Okay, here we go,” Moe said. “We’ll alley-oop her over the guardrail.”

“Why are you doing this?” I asked.

“That’s one of those questions that got an obvious answer,” Moe said. “You’re a pain in the ass, and you won’t go away. And you shot Sunny.”

“I didn’t shoot Sunny. Rita shot Sunny.”

“I wouldn’t find that hard to believe,” Moe said, “but we got our orders.”

The guy from the SUV gave a grunt and hefted the cinderblock.

“No! Help!” I yelled. “Helllllllp!”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Moe said to me. “Always the pain in the ass.”

“Help!” I screamed. “Somebody help me!”

Some cars slowed to look, but no one stopped.

“For crissake,” the SUV guy said. “ Move her! I’m gonna pop a hemorrhoid holding this motherfucking cinderblock.”

Moe had me by one arm, and Shorty had me by the other. I was struggling against them, kicking out with the foot not tied to the cinderblock, but I was losing ground. They got me to the guardrail, and I could see the Delaware River dark and deep, swirling away from the bridge abutments.

I was still screaming and kicking as I was lifted off my feet, and I felt the guardrail against my back.

“Shove her over,” the SUV guy said.

“I’m fucking trying,” Moe said. “We should have tied her other foot.”

I connected with Shorty’s crotch and heard him expel a woof of air. He released my arm and doubled over. The SUV guy dropped the cinderblock and grabbed me. There was a lot of swearing and grunting and struggling, and I went over the side. I dropped about ten feet, heard something go thunk , and I hung there, twirling around in the breeze.

“What the fuck?” Moe said.

“The goddamn block is stuck,” the SUV guy said.

“Are you shitting me?”

“No. It got pulled into the guardrail when she went over, and it’s caught there.”

I heard more grunting and swearing and then a moment of silence.

“It’s not coming loose,” the SUV guy said.

“So cut the rope,” Moe said.

“I haven’t got a knife,” the SUV guy said. “You got one?”

“Isn’t there one in the car?”

“Why would we have a knife in the car? In case we want to cut salami? I don’t use a knife. I’m a gun guy.”

“Great. Then fucking shoot the rope,” Moe said.

I heard someone leaning on a horn, more swearing, and the sound of men running. There was shouting and car noise, but I couldn’t sort any of it out. I had my own problems. I was hanging upside down by one foot with my heart racing and the rope biting into my ankle.

I tilted my head to look up at the bridge and saw Ranger straddling the guardrail.

“Try to stay still,” he said to me. “I’m going to pull you up, but you have to stop twirling. You’re loosening the knot.”

I instantly froze, but I was still gently swaying, and I felt the knot slip. A heartbeat later I was in free fall. I caught a glimpse of Ranger flying off the bridge after me. I curled into a cannon-ball position, and took a deep breath a split-second before I hit the water. I plunged below the surface and came out of my fetal position disoriented. I felt myself being pushed up, and in the longest moment of my life I struggled not to breathe and suck in river water. I surfaced sputtering and gasping for air. I went under briefly and was pushed up again. I could feel Ranger against my back, his arm wrapped around me.

“Relax!” he shouted. “I’m going to float with the current and tow you in.”

I tried to tell him I could swim, but I was shaking and my teeth were chattering and I couldn’t get any words formed. By the time we reached the bank there were four Rangeman guys in the water waiting to help us, and an EMS truck and a police car were idling a short distance away, lights flashing.

I was pulled out of the water and wrapped in a blanket. Someone removed the cuffs. Ranger held me tight against him, his cheek against mine.

“You’re okay,” he said. “You’re safe.”

I nodded, unable to speak.

He stepped back and looked at me. “Anything broken?”

I shook my head. “N-n-n-no.”

“Do you need to get checked out by the EMS tech?”

“N-n-n-no.”

“I need to take care of things here,” he said. “I’m going to have Tank take you home. You can talk to the police after you’ve had a shower and gotten into dry clothes.”

“It was M-m-moe and Shorty,” I said. “Damn, I can’t stop shaking.”

“Adrenaline burn-off,” Ranger said. “It’s normal.”

“Why aren’t you sh-sh-shaking?”

“I’m not normal.”

ELEVEN

TANK IS APPROPRIATELY named. He’s big and indestructible. He’s second in command at Rangeman, and he’s the guy Ranger trusts to watch his back. A while back he dated Lula, but Lula was allergic to his cats, and Tank wasn’t giving up his cats for love or money or Lula.

“Your messenger bag is on the backseat,” Tank said. “We found it in the Lincoln. Good thing they threw it in with you, or we wouldn’t have been able to track you down.”

“Did you capture Moe and Shorty?”

“They took off in the SUV, and Hal and Gino and five police cars went after them.”

I retrieved my bag from the backseat, found my cellphone, and dialed Lula.

“Where the heck are you?” Lula asked. “I’ve been standing here by the car, waiting for you.”

“I sort of got kidnapped and thrown in the river, but I’m okay now. Tank is driving me home.”

“Say what?”

“It wasn’t a big deal. I’ll tell you about it later. Did you find Kevin?”

“No, but there was some homeless guy eating Kevin’s lettuce. I gave him five bucks for a bottle of wine and he left.”

“Are you going to Bingo tonight?”

“I’m gonna pass. I got a date.”

“Does your date involve standing on a corner?”

“Maybe for a moment.”

I disconnected, and Tank looked over at me. “Seemed to me that it was a big deal.”

I leaned back against the headrest and closed my eyes. “I’m trying to forget.”

“Don’t forget too much or it might happen again.”

The very thought made me shudder.

A half hour later Tank walked me to my door.

“Would you like me to stay?” he asked.

“Not necessary. But thank you. I’m fine.”

I closed and locked my door. I looked in at Rex and told him not to worry, because I was okay. And then I burst into tears. I cried all through my shower and halfway through drying my hair. I’d stopped sobbing, but my eyes were red and my nose was still leaking, when my cellphone rang.